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HE PERSEVERES IN PRAYING, THOUGH DISCOURAGED. 175

HOPE. Yes, over, and over, and over.

CHR. And did the Father reveal the Son to you? HOPE. Not at first, nor second, nor third, nor fourth, nor fifth, no nor at the sixth time neither.

CHR. What did you do then?

HOPE. What! why I could not tell what to do.. CHR. Had you not thoughts of leaving off praying? HOPE. Yes, and a hundred times twice told.

CHR. And what was the reason you did not? HOPE. I believed that that was true which hath been told me, to wit, that without the righteousness. of this CHRIST, all the world could not save me: and therefore, thought I with myself, if I leave off I die, and I can but die at the throne of grace. And withal this came into my mind, "If it tarry, wait for it, "because it will surely come, and will not tarry'." So I continued, until the Father showed me his Son.

CHR. And how was he revealed unto you?

HOPE. I did not see him with my bodily eyes, but with the eyes of my understanding, and thus it was :— one day I was very sad, I think sadder than at any one time of my life; and this sadness was through a fresh sight of the greatness and vileness of my sins. And as I was then looking for nothing but hell, and the everlasting damnation of my soul, suddenly, as I thought, I saw the Lord JESUS look down from heaven upon me, and saying, "Believe on the Lord JESUS CHRIST, "and thou shalt be saved","

But I replied,

I Hab. ii. 3.

Lord, I am a great, a very great

■ Eph. i. 18, 19. 3 Acts, xvi. 30, 31.

176

HOW CHRIST WAS REVEALED TO HIM;

sinner and he answered, "My grace is sufficient " for thee." Then I said, But, Lord, what is

But,

believing?' And then I saw from that saying, "He "that cometh to me shall never hunger, and he that "believeth on me shall never thirst'," that believing and coming was all one; and that he that came, that is, ran out in his heart and affection after salvation by CHRIST, he indeed believed in CHRIST. Then the water stood in mine eyes, and I asked further, Lord, may such a great sinner, as I am, be indeed accepted of thee, and be saved by thee?' And I heard him say, "And him that cometh to me, I will "in no wise cast out." Then I said, But how, Lord, must I consider of thee in my coming to thee, that my faith may be placed aright upon thee?' Then he said, CHRIST came into the world to 66 save sinners:" "he is the end of the law of

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righteousness to every one that believes :" "died for our sins, and rose again for our justifica❝tion:" "he loved us, and washed us from our "sins in his own blood:" "he is Mediator betwixt "GOD and us:" "he ever liveth to make intercession "for us." From all which I gathered that I must look for righteousness in his person, and for satisfaction for my sins by his blood; that which he did in obedience to his Father's law, and in submitting to the penalty thereof, was not for himself, but for him that will accept it for his salvation, and be thankful. And now was my heart full of joy, mine eyes full of tears, and mine affections running over

John, vi. 35. 2 John, vi. 37. 3 1 Tim. i. 15. Rom. x. 4. Heb. vii. 24, 25

TO THE INCREASE OF HIS HUMILITY AND LOVE.

177

with love to the name, people, and ways of JESUS CHRIST.

CHR. This was a revelation of CHRIST to your soul indeed: but tell me particularly what effect this had upon your spirit.

HOPE. It made me see that all the world, notwithstanding all the righteousness thereof, is in a state of condemnation: it made me see that Gop the Father, though he be just, can justly justify the coming sinner: it made me greatly ashamed of the vileness of my former life, and confounded me with the sense of mine own ignorance; for there never came thought into my heart, before now, that showed me so the beauty of JESUS CHRIST: it made me love a holy life, and long to do something for the honour and glory of the Lord JESUS; yea, I thought that, had I now thousand gallons of blood in my body, I could spill it all for the sake of the Lord JESUS.

I saw then in my dream, that HOPEFUL looked back and saw IGNORANCE, whom they had left behind, coming after: Look, said he to CHRISTIAN, how far yonder youngster loitereth behind.

CHR. Aу, ay, I see him: he careth not for our

company.

HOPE. But I trow it would not have hurt him, had he kept pace with us hitherto.

CHR. That is true; but I'll warrant you he thinketh otherwise.

HOPE. That I think he doth: but, however, let us tarry for him. So they did.

178 CHRISTIAN AGAIN DISCOURSES WITH IGNORANCE

Then CHRISTIAN said to him, Come away, man, why do you stay so behind?

IGNOR. I take my pleasure in walking alone; even more a great deal than in company; unless I like it better.

Then said CHRISTIAN to HOPEFUL, (but softly), Did I not tell you he cared not for our company? But, however, said he, come up, and let us talk away the time in this solitary place. Then, directing his speech to IGNORANCE, he said, Come, how do you? how stands it between GoD and your soul

now?

IGNOR. I hope well, for I am always full of good motions, that come into my mind to comfort me as I walk.

CHR. What good motions? pray tell us.
IGNOR. Why, I think of GoD and heaven.
CHR. So do the devils and damned souls.

IGNOR. But I think of them and desire them.

CHR. So do many that are never like to come there. "The soul of the sluggard desires, and hath

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IGNOR. But I think of them, and leave all for them. CHR. That I doubt: for leaving of all is an hard matter; yea, a harder matter than many are aware of. But why, or by what, art thou persuaded that thou hast left all for GoD and heaven?

IGNOR. My heart tells me so.

CHR. The wise man says, "He that trusts his

"own heart is a fool."

Prov. xiii. 4. 2 Prov, xxviii. 26.

CONCERNING HIS HOPE, HEART, AND THOUGHTS.

179

IGNOR. This is spoken of an evil heart, but mine is a good one.

CHR. But how dost thou prove that?

IGNOR, It comforts me in hopes of heaven.

CHR. That may be through its deceitfulness; for a man's heart may minister comfort to him in the hopes of that thing for which he yet has no ground to hope. IGNOR. But my heart and life agree together; and therefore my hope is well grounded.

CHR. Who told thee that thy heart and life together?

IGNOR. My heart tells me.

agree

CHR. Ask my fellow if I be a thief?' Thy heart tells thee so! except the word of GOD beareth witness in this matter, other testimony is of no value.

IGNOR. But is it not a good heart that has good thoughts? and is not that a good life that is according to God's commandments?

CHR. Yes, that is a good heart that hath good thoughts, and that is a good life that is according to GOD's commandments; but it is one thing indeed to have these, and another thing only to think so.

IGNOR. Pray, what count you good thoughts, and a life according to Gop's commandments?

CHR. There are good thoughts of divers kinds; -some respecting ourselves, some-GoD, someCHRIST, and some-other things,

IGNOR. What be good thoughts respecting ourselves?

CHR. Such as agree with the word of God.

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