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rupin larity of the last He sneers most con- deed, that of every other country: If Pou temptuously at all. who venture to a Scotchman, he has a contempt for sin compare the bard of Avon with the Oxford, and no love for Cambridge. lei Greek tragedians; and though he pre- He dies at about the age of sixty of a mais tends to admire his comedies, willingly bilious attack, having never been perei leaves the Merry Wives of Windsor fectly well since his last visit to his its for the quaintnesses of Ignoramus. If college. iar an Englishman, he ridicules the Scot
T. D. sena tish pronunciation of Latin; and, in,
HE ME BARKER'S RETORT COURTEOUS, TO THE EXPOSTULATION UNNECESSARY.
MR EDITOR, as far
able feelings towards myself will be To the 46th Number of the Classi- gratified, and his laudable zeal for the cal Journal, published on July 1st, interests of literature excited, and rather more than two months prior to his ardent thirst for knowledge satiathe date of the Expostulatory Letter ted, by the appearance of my book, of your Constant Reader, in the last till after Christmas. However, when Number of your Magazine, was ap- he again visits Thetford, if he will fapended the following advertisement: vour me with a call, he shall have a "In the press -Aristarchus Anti- view of the MSS., and he can at once Blomfieldianus, or, A Reply to the refresh his body with the mineral waNotice of the New Greek Thesaurus, ters, and his spirit with this Castalian inserted in the 44th Number of the spring.
Quarterly Review, by E. H. Barker. He“ entreats me to come forward," 2 Part 2d. In this Second Part will be as “ he has nothing to laugh at;" and
found Critical Remarks on Lobeck's I shall at all times be ready to do so, Phrynichi Eclogæ, Creuzer's Come if his wisdom keeps pace with his mentatt. Herodotec, Mr G. Burges's mirth,-if he will listen to the homeÆschyli Supplices, Osann's Philemo ly, but not yet, I hope, antiquated, Grammaticus, Dr Maltby's Edition of proverb--Be MERRY AND WISE. Posa Morell's Thes, and other Works. In sibly, when I do come forward, he the Appendix will be given Extracts may alter his note, and his ridiculous from the MS. Lexicon of Eudemus, laugh may be changed into a Sardonic and a complete Index of all the new grin. In the mean time he may
find Words, which have been discussed å rich fund for mirth, as a person of and noticed in the New Gr. Thes." more sober and dignified habits would And I was therefore much surprised find ample matter for regret, in the to find that the Constant Reader was recent exposures of Dr Blomfield's not in the habit of perusing that Clas- Plagiarisms, and the more perfect desical Journal, on which he has, in his velopement of his character, by MrG. first communication to you, influenced, Burges in the Classical Journal, and in
po doubt, by motives of a peculiar na- his Æschyli Supplices, - ture, poured out the vials of his wrath. The Constant Reader can have no
But, though the work was thus an- idea of the extraordinary shock which nounced as in the press, yet circum- he has given to my politics, and the stances of a domestic nature have so dreadful emotions which even you, sir, fuly occupied, and will continue so and your readers, must have experito occupy, my leisure, as to prevent enced on perceiving that he views the
me from proceeding with the publica- attack on Mr Alderman Waithman, stion of the MSS., which have for ma
at Knightsbridge-Barracks, the events ny months been nearly ready for the in which Mr® Alderman Wood has press.. The Index has required more been engaged, and the transactions in time than I had expected that it which Sir Robert Wilson has borne a would require, and it is not yet com- part, as “ tragedies.” Never was
any pleted ; and the accelerated progress inference more logically correct than of the Thes. leaves me but very few the one which I have drawn ; for, immoments in the course of the day for mediately after the mention of those such classical recreations ; and with eminent personages, with a pointed these accumulated obstacles there is, allusion to recent occurrences, he I fear, but little chance that his amić adds --"I hear of no new tragedies."
My astonishment has been still fur- The Constant Reader is pleased to ther augmented on finding that in ask a very polite question of those
new tragedies," he looks for what he whom he expects to peruse his lucuterms“ mirthful emotions," "sportive brations: “ Does Mr Barker suspect, matter," something to laugh at." that, lịke his namesake Anubis, latraAnd still the wonder grows,” that tor Anubis, he is over-matched in he should connect those political af- fight, and
will go forth but to be beatfairs with literary matters.
en? Mr B. has no such fears of himFor my part, so long as he continues self, as the event will proveto write such articles, they may, “But he had a club however, prove useful to you for Ba- The dragon to drub, lam,) I shall never want topics for Or he had ne'er don't, I warrant ye." laughter. The Constant Reader is al
Dragon of Wantly. ways witty himself, or the cause of The Constant Reader terms Mr B. wit in others; and those who have a a lạtrator ; but, with all his knowplenteous patience to peruse his pages, ledge of dogs, he probably never read the must perpetually smile with him or at learned work of Joannes Caius, de Can, him. Even in this last effort of his ibus Britannicis, republished by Dr Jebị muse, he has been true to his charace in 1729, 12mo. Dogs are there divided ter—distinguished by a peculiar feli- into three species, Generosam, Rusticity of errour. 1. He asks,
cam, et Degenerem ; and as the Conis a petulanti splene cachinno to do?" stant Reader certainly does not seem as if his interrogatory could stand to belong to the first species, I will without the aid of any person. Had leave to him the agreeable task of trahe included the verb sum in his quo- cing his pedigree from either of the tation, as in the original of Persius, other two. My own idea is, that he he would have been protected by clase is a sort of mongrel, descended partly șical authority :-Quid faciam? sed from the Vertagus,
Tumbler," of sum petulanti splene cachinno. --Sat. 1, which species Caius says, p. 9:12. 2d. He adds that “well does Mr “ Quod dolo agit, vertagum nostri di Barker know that
cunt, quod se, dum prædatur, vertat, Victrix causa diis placuit sed victa Catoni.” et circumacto corpore, impetu quodam
in ipso specus ostio feram opprimit et But, unforunately, Mr B. does not intercepit;" and partly from the Caç “know" the line with a false quan- niş FURAX, “
qui jubente hero noctu tity in it. And yet the Constant Reaç progreditur, et sine latratu odore adder, who has reaped the benefit. of an verso persequens cuniculos, cursu preeducation in the University, can una hendit quos herus permiserit, et ad generously talk about Mr Waithman heri stationem reportet. Vocant in“having utterly demolished the pate colæ canem nocturnum, quod venetur of our old friend Priscian," when the noctu.”—P. 10. The strange tricks by worthy Alderman never had any such which he imposes on your readers, the inestimable advantages! Lord Bacon, in awkward gambols which he plays in his Advancement of Learning, shews, argument, the ungenerous pursuit of that learning improves private vir. his game in the dark, his servile subtues,' takes away the wildness, and mission to, and his blind adulation of barbarism, and fierceness of men's his master, but too plainly indicate the minds,' takes away all levity, teme- cross-breed--the vices of both species rity, and insolency,' takes away all without the virtues of either-the vain admiration; and while the Con- counterfeit genius of both, with the stant Reader finds the virtues of pub- real mediocrity of talents belonging to lic men a fit subject for raillery, while more ignoble animals. he finds himself in full possession of His joke about Thes., first broachall the bad qualities of the heart, which ed by the Quarterly Reviewer of the are here enumerated, and while his Greek Thesaurus, then retailed entire mind retains that · vain admiration' by the Anti-Jacobin Reviewer, then of Dr Blomfield, which he has avowed poured into his first letter, as genuine in his previous communications to you, home-brewed wit, and bottled for dohe may feel assured, that he has not mestic use, on every occasion, has beattained the learning contemplated by come sufficiently stale; and the Sea the philosopher, and that the aldera cond Part of my Aristarchus Anti
in these and similar respects, Blomfieldianus, will tell to him the culeave him at an immeasurable distance. rious fact, that the merit of the abbreviation belongs not to Mr Barker, these things are their business. But but to scholars of an earlier date, and busie-bodies must feed upon tragedies, not more to Mr B. than to the Mus. and stories of misfortunes, and crimes. Crit. Cantebr., where it is often em. Envy and idleness married together, ployed.
and begot curiosity; therefore Plus As the Constant Reader, though tarch rarely well compares curious and “ looking around him like a vulture inquisitive ears to the execrable gates perched on an eminence for objects on of cities, out of which only malefacwhich he may gratify his insatiable tors, and hangmen, and tragedies pass thirst for rapine," (Robert Hall,) can, -nothing that is chaste or holy.”as he states, find " no new tragedies”. Holy Living, ch. II. $ 5. to excite his “ mirthful emotions," • This crime (of slander) is a conand cannot for some time expect the jugation of evils, and is productive of perasal of my intended publication, in infinite mischiefs; it undermines peace, these vacant hours I may with great and saps the foundation of friendship;
propriety endeavour to furnish him it destroys families, and rends in pieces * with fit topics for consideration, and the very heart and vital parts of cha
done appear to me more likely to assist rity ; it makes an evil man party, and him than the following extracts from witness, and judge, and executioner of the venerable Jeremy Taylor :- the innocent. 6. Commonly curious persons, or, as
The Good and Evil Tongue, Sermon' Es the Apostle's phrase is, busie-bodies, XXII. p. 161.
are not solicitous or inquisitive into Relying on your sense of justice and the beauty and order of a well-govern- impartiality to insert my reply to the
ed family, or after the vertues of an Constant Reader, though it has extend3 excellent person; but if there be any ed to a greater length than I had ex1 thing for which men keep locks, and pected. I remain, Mr Editor, e bars, and porters,--things that blush
Your obedient humble servant, is to see the light, and either are shame
EDMUND HENRY BARKER. ful in manners, or private in nature, Thetford, Oct. 7. 1821.
LETTER FROM BILL TRUCK, TO CHRISTOPHER NORTH, ESQ.
DEAR KIT, (Excuse me, for I love the old ship-shape looking monosyllable vastly)—You should have heard from me long ere this time, had I not been bored to death by a whole gang of the Fancy in your way, every soul of them bothering me with his opinion as to how I should steer ; and every one of them agreeing as well with each other as the old hooker herself does to her course with the wind all round the compass. It certainly was my first intention, my good lad, like a plain man unused to writing, after having, with your able assistance, introdu
ced the Man-of-War's Man to the notice of your reading and admiring world; się and moreover, after seriously advising him to spin his yarns of short and sweet
things to it and to you--in a manner, of course, worthy your high-flying and admirable Miscellany-without paying the smallest attention to that dull, Dutchman built affair, your plodding mechanical crones call Regular Narrative, to have left the young fellow, like a good pilot, to pursue
his his own way, under your safe convoy; and all this in the innocence of my heart, I frankly told these inquisitive interrogators. Zoands! would you believe it, Mr North ? I found myself in as bad a mess as the old blade and his donky, I was scouted, and teazed, and worried so unmercifully, that I was glad to haul down my jabber and sing out for quarter, for their pshaws and nonsenses, and other such like pop-shot, were whistling round my head and ears as thickly as a North Sea sleet shower. Amidst all their flummery, however, and many a fancy flam was proposed, they agreed that nothing would do half so well as a long-winded, well-told, regular built story, in which I was bound to clear
poor Davis, (my protégée they were pleased to term him, dn their French !) from the smallest taint of reproach, by telling all I knew of his family for the two or three last generations at least ! Here was a duty to load an old Greenwich-man with !-So d'ye see, my dear lad, I first looked gruff, then swore a little, for I could'nt help it, and then I flatly refused the job. Mayhap, gentlemen,” says I, “ you're not aware,” says I, “ that you assign me'a task for which I am unfit. I know nothing of your shore matters,” says I, “and no shame to me; but if you think it will advantage the poor young fellow," says I,“ in God's name set about it directly, any one of ye that chooses.”—This was all the rogues wanted, I believe, for away they went, nor did I hear from them again till about ten days afterwards, when I received the package containing the precious narration; to which I had but two objections, but they were clinchers. In the first place, this same narration was as bulky as an admiral's instructions, and as long as a best bower, and of course, my dear fellow, would have occupied far too much room in your so much envied aréna ; and secondly, the matter of it, to my taste, was quite trashy-as bad indeed as black strap, or six-water grog—by no means a plain, sober, sensible story, but swollen and inflated like an old woman in a dropsy, with the poetry and puffery of sentiment; every period being scissared as neatly as a round-robin, and sense throughout the whole of it completely massacred at the shrine of sound and nonsense. Disgusted with it, and somewhat chagrined, I confess, at the loss of so much good time, I was not a whit made better, you may be certain, upon discovering that the writer of this fancy affair was no other than a young spink of a nephew of mine, who, because I have sometimes allowed the puppy a little familiarity with me of an evening, and because, forsooth, his father has been fool enough to spend as much money in the keeping him at College as might have sent him with a cargo to the coast of Guinea, thinks himself, I suppose, as good a judge of public opinion, as you or I, Mr North, who have seen service! D-n the impertinent son of a dog-fish, I had good a mind to spritsail-yard him, and turn him adrift !
I am now more cool, my dear Kit, and have begun to think there must be something in the matter after all. Lest, therefore, my dear boy, you should be something of the puppy's opinion, I will cheerfully volunteer, as I wish to stand well in yours, to tell you the young lad's story in my own way; for it can be done in the twirl of a mop-stick. You must know, then, that Edward's father, from his youth up, was a rampageous, high-spirited, tearing sort of fellow, who thought proper to marry his mother at hap-hazard, without consulting the wishes of a single soul of his family; for which offence he was very properly, like a young mutinous rascal, immediately bundled off, by the grandfather, in the service of the Honourable the East India Company. His mother, shortly after unshipping herself of a son, also disappeared-most people thought in search of her husband leaving Edward to the care of the old boy, who very honestly, taking a notion of the youngster, fed, and clothed, and schooled him to the mast-head. Being, however, a real chip of the old block, you'll not hinder the young skemp from very early betraying a peculiar address in nosing out every thing that appeared in the shape of a petticoat: nor was it long before his grandfather discovered him on the eve of forming a very improper indissoluble connection with another skittish hop-mythumb, something like himself. He immediately put in his spoke, and forbade the banns ; on which my young sensitive, fretting, and fizzing, and fuming like a pot-fire in water, after committing as many extravagances and ridiculous grimaces as a St Helena monkey, most gallantly blew out the brains of all his fu. ture prospects, went down to Leith, and was on board of the Adamant, and had entered the service, before you would have said Jack Robinson. As he took
no pains to conceal this wise measure, bụt rather appeared to betray a sort of - savage satisfaction in thus affronting his grandfather and all his family, they very a properly pocketed their grief, convinced that he had chosen a rougher school al master, and a harder penance, than any they could have had the heart to in, fict.
Having thus given you all that I know of our young Man-of-War's-Man, a my dear lad, I shall now take my leave, with expressing my hope that you
and he may proceed on your voyage together in a comfortable and happy man. ner, and that, after many months of mutual pleasure, and mutual satisfaction, you may see him into port, and part good friends.--My dear Kit, I shall always
be proud to be ever yours, while de Canongate, 10th October, 1821.
BILL TRYCK. THE MAN-OF-WAR'S-MAN.
Your work is very hard, my boys, upon the ocean sea,
In the Guard-ship, ho! We left Edward, moving slowly form licacy of Captain Farrell had won ward from his conference with the his heart, and several times was he officers, in a state of mind far from on the point of returning to the quarbeing enviable. By the thoughtless ter-deck, and demanding an audience though friendly kindness of Lieute- of him, that he might tell him his nant Highgate, he had been exposed whole story. Here, however, there
to a scrutiny which of all things he was an explanation to make, which ¿ had least expected ; and thus taken by both shocked and alarmed his pride,
surprise, and determined not to affront, of which we need hardly remark he as he thought, the honour of his fami, had a yery respectable share. ly, he had found the little that he did no, it can never be,” exclaimed he say treated as falsehood, and himself mentally; “ I have voluntarily court rudely levelled to the same grade of ed my fate, and however hard it may infamy as the felons he accompanied. prove, I must learn to bear it. I might The sneering unbelief, too, so broadly have chosen better, it is true; and yet displayed by Lieutenant Toddrel, had how could that be, when I chose to the
done its work ; and the Captain's part- best of my knowledge? Have I nog :: ing words, on dismissing him, of his ever loved sea matters? Have I not E
being a queer one, and no better wished many times to be engaged in than he ought to be, still rung in his them? And have I not now got my ears, and stung him to the soul. With wish? Yes !” added he, with a con
a heavy and a bursting heart, there- yulsiye shudder, which made his teeth & fore, and unwilling to betray himself grind together,“ yes ! I have got it
in the presence of men, who, he was in an overflowing cup, every drop of quite aware, looked upon such feelings which I must drain to the bottom with the greatest contempt, he sought for too much, far too much, has ala solitary corner under the vessel's ready been done, ever to be undone little forecastle, and there gave way with honour. Alas! well did Lieutea to an agony of tears. The rude un nant Highgate say, when he gave me gainly taunts of the Lieutenant, it is the list to carry to the midshipman,true, had excited no other emotions There, Davis, that is your banishthan a certain scorn and contempt, ment, since you will have it. God which, in other circumstànces, and bless you, and farewell ; we may meet in another place, would, in all like again, though at present it an't very lihood, have provoked a return; but likely;". From this melancholy, and the graceful manners and manly dea mortifying reverie, he was suddenly VOL. X.