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rendered more agreeable in being The history of Nonfenfe,
tendered more sensible, and with-
out giving any harshness

is no race of people expresion. It is by means of this cuous, in almost every relation of the musician, paling suddenly from life, than the illustrious, family of one key or mode to another, and Nonsense. In every age of the fupprefling, when necessary, the in- world they have shone forth with termediate and pedantic transitions, uncommon luftre, and have made is capable of exprefling those re- a wonderful progress in all the arts serves, interruptions, and paren- and sciences. They have, at dif. theses, which are the language ferent seasons, delivered speeches of the impetuous pallions; and from the throne, harangued at the which the glowing Metastasio, bar, -debated in parliament, and Porpora, Galuppi, Cocchi, Ju- gone amazing lengths in philosomella, Perez, and Terra-Deglia phical enquiries and metaphysical have so often and so fuccessfully difquifitions, employed; while our lyric poets In a word, the whole history of know just as little of them as our the world, moral and political, is mufcians.

but a Cyclopædia of Nonsense. For The third advantage, and that which reason, considering the dig. which gives to melody its greatest nity and importance of the family, effect, is' the extreme exactness of and the infinire service it has been time which is observable in the of to me and many of my cotemgravelt as well as the liveliest move- poraries, I have resolved to oblige ments: anexactness which renders the public with a kind of abftract the singing animated and interest of the history of Nonsense. ing, the accompaniments lively Nonsense was the daughter of igand flowing, which really multi- norance, begot on falsehood, many plies the tunes, by making in one

years ago, in a dark cavern in combination of sounds as many Boecia. As she grew up, she ina different melodies as there are me. hericod all the qualities of her

pa. thods of scanning them : an exact. rents; the discovered too warm a ness which conveys every sentiment genius to require being sent to to the heart, and every image to school; but, while other dull brats the understanding; which furnishes were poring over an horn-book, the musician with the means of The amused herself with spreading giving to words all imaginable fantastical lies, taught her by her characters, many of which we have mamma, and which have, in latter no idea of, and which renders the ages, been familiarly known to us movements proper to express all under the names of tham, banter, those characters, or á fingle move. and humbug. ment proper to contraft and change When the grew up, she received the character at the pleasure of the the addresses, and soon became the composer.

wife of impudence. Who he was, or of what profession, is uncertain; some say he was the son of igno. rance by another venture, and was

fuffered yery

fuffered to become the husband of they felt not the feaft degree of nonsense in those dark ages of the pain : and others would not truft world, as the Ptolemies of Egypt their own eyes ; but, when they married their own fisters. Some saw an horfe or a dog, could not record, that he was in the army': tell whether it was not a chait of others, that he was an interpreter à table, and even made a doubt of of the laws, and others, a divine, their own existence. However this was, nonsense and We have no certain account of impudence were soon inseparably the progress of nonsense here in united to each other, and became England, till after the reformation the founders of a more noble and All we hear of her and herprogeny numerous family than any yet pre- before that period of time is, that ferved on any tree of descent what. they led a lazylife among the monks foever; of which ingenious device in cloysters and convents,dreaming they were said to have been the firft over old legends of saints, drawing Inventors.

up breviaries and mass-books, and ** It is my chief intent; at present, ftringing together some barbarous to record the great exploits of that Latin verfés in rhime. branch of the family, who have In the days of queen Elizabeth, made themselves remarkable in fo little encouragement was given England, though they began to to her family, that it feemed to Tignalize themselves very carly, and have been almost extinct; but, in are still very flourishing in most the succeeding reign, it Hourished parts of the world. Many of them again, and filled the most confider, were Egyptian priests four thou. able offices in the nation. sand years ago, and told the peo. Nonsense became a great favour. ple, that it was religion to worship ite at court, where she was highly dogs, monkeys, and green leeks ; caressed on account of her wit

, and their descendants prevailed on

which consisted in puns and quib. the Greeks and Romans to build bles; and the bonny monarch him. temples in honour of supposed relf was thought to take a more deities, who were, in their own than ordinary delight in her con: eftimation of them, whores and versation. At this time many of whore-mongers, pickpockets and her progeny took orders, and got drunkards.

themselves preferred to the best • Others rose op some ages after in livings, by turning the evangelifts Turkey, and persuaded the people into puniters, and making St. Paul to embrace the doctrine of blood. quibble from the pulpit. Among thed and the sword, in the name of the rest their was a bishop, a fa. the most merciful God. And others vourite son of nonsense, of whom have manifefted their lineal descent it is particularly recorded, that he from nonsense and impudence, by used to tickle his courtly audience, affirming that there is no God at by telling them that matrimony all. There were alfo among them was become a matter of money, many shrewd philosophers? fome with many other right reverend of whom, though they were tacked jests recorded by Joe Miller. with a fit of the stone, or laid up Several brothers of this family with a gouty toc, declared that were likewise bred to the bar, and

'

very gravely haçangosd against old ing nonsense in church and state, women fucked by devils in the and were preparing to make bonIhape of ram.cats, &c,

fires on the occasion in Smithfield, As an instance of their profound when they were obliged to leave wisdom and fagacity, I need only the kingdom. mention that just and truly pious'. Since the revolution, the field of act of parliament made againt the politics has afforded large scope for crying fin of witchcraft, 1 Jac. I. nonsense and her family to make chap. 12. “ Such as fhall use in themselves remarkable. Hence avocation or conjuration of any evil sose the various sects in party, di. spirit, or shall consult, covenant ftinguished by the name of whig with, entertain, employ, fees, or and tory, ministerial and Jacobite, reward, any evil spirit, to any in- Sunderlandians, Oxfordians, Go fent, or take up any dead person, dolphinians, Bolingbrokians, Wal. or part chereof, to be used in witch polians, Pelhamians, &c. &c. &c. craft, or have used any of the said names which have kindled as hot a arts, whereby any person shall be war in pamphlets and journals, as killed, confumed, or lamed in his the Guelphs and Gibilines in Italy, or her body, they, together with or the Big and Little Indians in the their accesațies before the fact, kingdom of Lilliput. shall suffer as felons, without be- I have here endeavoured to give pefit of clergy,

a short abridgement of the history In the troublesome times of king of nonfenfe ; though a very small Charles the First, nonsense and her part of the exploits of the family family fided with the parliament. can be included in so compendious they set

up new seets in religion : a chronicle. Some of them were some of them cropped their hair very deep scholars, and filled the fhort, and called themselves the profesors chairs at the universities, enlightened; some fell into trances, They composed many elaborate disand pretended to see holy visions; sertations, to convince the world, while others got into tubs, and that two and cwo make four; and held farth, with many whinings discovered, by dint of fyllogism, and groans, and fnufling through that white is not black. Their in the nose.

quiries in natural philofophy were In the merry days of king Charles no less extraordinary : many {pent the Second, nonsenfe assumed a more their lives and their fortunes in at. gay and libertine air; and her pra- tempting to discover a wonderful geny, from fanatics, became down. ftone, that should turn every, baser right infidels. Several courtiers of metal into gold; and others emthe family wrate lewd plays, as ployed themselves in making arti well as luscious love-songs, and o- ficial wings, by the help of which ther loose verses, which were col, they, Mould Ay up into the world lected together, and greedily of the moon. Another branch of bought up in miscellanies.

the family took to the Belles Let. In the Tucceeding reign, some of tres, and were the original found. the kind red, who had received their ers of the learned society of Grub. education at St. Omer's, thought Atreet, themselves on the point of establish- Never was any æra, in the annals

of

of nonsense; more illustrious than in high conteft about the manage. the present ; nor did that noble fa- ment of their favourite amusement mily more fignally diftinguish it. -the opera. self in every occupation.

In oratory, who are greater pro. ficients than the progeny of non. The writer of the following letters fense! Witness many long, and was in England Jome years ago : eloquent fpeeches delivered in St.

though a Wranger and friendless, Stephen's chapel, in Westminster.

he was parronized and protected hall, the affizes and quarter-feffions, by the

generous nobleman to whom at Clare-market, and the 'Robin

bis firf letter is directed'; bis noHood.

ble patron recommended bim to the In philofophy, what marvellous

late Duke of Cumberland, who things have not been proved by

fent him to the royal academy at ponfenfe ? the fome-time-professor Woolwich, where be continued a of astronomy at Gresham college confiderable time, and was r. fhewed Sir Isaac Newton to be a

markable for the diligent attention mere afs, and wire-drawed the

he paid to his military studies, books of Moses into a complete

He afterwards served as a volun. system of natural philofophy : life

teer in our army in Germany; beguard-men have, with the utmost

haved with great spirit, and was certainty of nonsense, foretold

much efeemed, as well by the earthquakes; and others have pen- Hanaverian and Helsian as by the ned curious essays on air-quakes,

English generals; from thence he water-quakes, and comets. In politics, how successfully have

went by land, making Ruffia his way. 10 Georgia, with

an intention the fons of nonsense bandied about to make his military acquisitions the terms of court and country? useful to the celebrated prince Hahow wifely have they debated upon taxes ? and with what amazing

railius, u bon de confidered as his

Jovereiga. penetration did they but lately foresee an invafion?

Copy of the firf letter of Emin to the In religion, their domain is par. ticularly extensive : for, though

then E. now D.of Nd. nonsense is excluded, at least from

My Lord, the first part of the fervice in all regular churches, yet the often oc- I

Prefent you the fpecimen of my cupies the whole ceremony at the writing I promised. It is too tabernacle and foundery in Moor- bold, I am afraid, to make myself fields, and the chapel at Long. the subject, when I write for your acre. But, for the credit of fo Jordfhip; but - forgive, my lord, polite an age, be it known, that the language of a tranger: I the children of nonsense, who are have been in too low condition to many of them people of fashion, know how to write proper to are as often seen at the play-house your lordship, but you speak to as at church: and, it is something me more kind and humble than ftrange, that the family of nonfenfe - mean people ; fo I am encouraged, is now divided againt itfelf, and I have very good designs, and

I have suffered very much hard. rant, and fight only with a wild thips for them. I think your and natural fierceness, and so they lordship will not defpife a person have no order, and do nothing in a mean condition, for ihink- but like robbers. And I resolved ing of something more than live. I would go to Europe to learn lihood; I have with a good will art military, and other sciences to thrown behind me a very easy live- aflift that art; and I was sure chat lihood for this condition, mean if I could go into Armenia, like as it is, and I am not troubled, European officer, I may be useful if I can carry my point at laft. at lait in some degree to my coun. As long as I can remember my try; but my father did not liften own family, and I remember my to me, for God did not give him great grandfathers, they have been understanding in these things. I always soldiers, and always did could not bear to live like a beast, remember Chrift, though they eating and drinking, without li. were torn out of their country of berty or knowledge :- I went to Armenia by Shaw Abbas, and

Abbas, and captain. Fox, of the thip Walplanted in Hamadan. After pole, and killed his feet hundred their captivity they were soldiers iimes, to let me work for my pas. likewise. Two of my uncles did fage to Europe, before he would spill their blood in the service of bend to me; but he did at last Kouly Kan: my father was his admit me; and I came to Eng, llave for many years; but he was land with much labour; but it did at last forced to fly into India, not grieve me when I thought of because this tyrant had sharpened my country: I entered myself with his battle-axe againit his own ar- my little money into Mr. Midmy, more than upon his enemies. dleton's academy : I had the ho. Soon after my father sent for me nour to tell your lordship so beto Calcutta in Bengal, where he fore : I was first a scholar, and, is a merchant. There I saw the when my money was gone,

I fort of Europeans, and the fule a servant there for

a ferrant there for my learning ; diers exercise, and the shipping, but he was broke, and I loft eve. and that they were dexterous and ry thing. I went into the street perfect in all things. Then I to work for my bread, for I could grieved within myself for my re- not bear to go about vaging a ligion and my country, that we tail at people's doors for a bit of were in lavery and ignorance, meat. I will not grieve your like Jews, vagabonds over the lordship with the misery which I earth; and I spoke to my father went through; I do not want to upon all this, because our fa- be pitied. I got service at last as a chers did not fight for their coun. porter with one Mr. Robarts, a grotry ; but I understood that the cer in the city : in this time I carArmenians in the mountains were red sometimes burthens of near (wo free, and handled arms from their hundred weight upon my back and childhood ; and that those under paid out of my wages to learn Patriarch, who are subject to the lome geometry, and to complete Turks and Persians, did not want myselt in writing, and just to becourage ; but they are all igno. gin a little French; but because

my

was

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