"You won't!!" "No, sir, you sha'n't know a single word about it." "Sha'n't know a single word about it! My God! Do you know whom you're talking to, sir? Do you really know who I am, sir?-whom you are speaking to, sir?" "Mr Tag-rag, I presume, of the firm of Dowlas, Tag-rag, and Co." one or two of his companions near him, almost turned pale at the audacity he was displaying. "And who are you, sir, that dare to presume to bandy words with ME, sir?" enquired Tag-rag, quivering with rage. "Tittlebat Titmouse, at your service," was the answer, in a glib tone, and with a sufficiently saucy air. "You heard that, I hope?" enquired Tag-rag, with forced calmness, of a pale-faced young man, the nearest to him. "Ye-es," was the meekly reluc tant answer. "This day month you leave, sir!" said Mr Tag-rag, solemnly-as if conscious that he was passing a sort of sentence of death upon the presumptuous delinquent. "Very well, Mr Tag-rag-any thing that pleases you pleases your humble servant. I will go this day month, and welcome - I've long wished" " Then you sha'n't leave, sir," said Tag-rag, furiously. "But I will, sir. You've given me warning; and, if you haven't, now I give you warning," replied Titmouse; turning, however, very pale, and experiencing a certain sudden sinking of the heart-for this was a serious and most unlooked-for event, and for a while put out of his head all the agitating thoughts of the last few hours. Poor Titmouse had enough to bearwhat with the delicate raillery and banter of his accomplished companions for the rest of the day, and the galling tyranny of Mr Tag-rag, who dogged him about all day, setting him about the most menial and troublesome offices he could, and constantly saying mortifying things to him before customers, and the state of miserable suspense in which Mr Gammon had thought fit to leave him; I say that surely all this was enough for him to bear without having to encounter at night, as he did, on his return to his lodgings, his blustering landlady, who vowed that if she sold him out and out she'd be put off no longer and his pertinacious and melancholy tailor, who, with sallow unshaven face, told him of five children at home, all ill of the smallpox, and his wife in an hospital and he implored a payment on account. This sufferer succeeded in squeezing out of Titmouse seven shillings on account, and his landlady extorted ten; which staved off a distress _ direful word for some week or two longer; and so they left him in the possession of eight shillings, or so, to last till next quarter-day. He sighed heavily, barred his door, and sat down opposite his little table, on which was nothing but a solitary thin candle, and on which his eyes rested unconsciously, till the stench of it, burning right down in the socket, roused him from his wretched reverie. He then hastily threw off his clothes, and flung him. self on his bed, to pass a far more dismal night than he had known for years. He ran the gauntlet at Messrs Dowlas, Tag-rag, and Co.'s all Tuesday, as he had done on the day preceding. One should have supposed that when his companions beheld him persecuted by their common employer and master, whom they all equally hated, they would have made common cause with their suffering companion, or at all events given no countenance to his persecution; yet it was far otherwise. Without stopping to analyze the feeling which produced it, (and which the moderately reflective reader may easily analyze for himself if so disposed,) I am grieved to have to say, that when all the young men saw that Tag-rag would be gratified by their cutting poor Titmouse, who, with all his little vanities and emptinesses, had never offended or injured any of them-they did so; and, when Tag-rag observed it, his miserable mind was more gratified with them by far than it had ever been before. He spoke to all of them with unusual blåndness; to the sinner, Titmouse, with augmented bitterness. A few minutes after ten o'clock that night, a gentle ringing at the bell of Messrs Quirk, Gammon, and Snap's office, announced the arrival of poor Titmouse. The door was quickly opened by a clerk, who seemed in the act of quitting for the night. "Ah-Mr Titmouse, I presume?" he enquired, with a kind of deference in his manner that Titmouse had never been accustomed to. "The same, sir Tittlebat Titmouse." "Oh! allow me, sir, to conduct you in to Messrs Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, who are, I know, in expectation of seeing you. It is very rarely that they are here at so late an hour." With this he led the way to an inner room, and opening a green-baize door in the further side of it, announced Mr Titmouse, and left him sufficiently flustered. Three gentlemen were sitting at a large table, on which he saw, by the strong but circumscribed light of two large shaded candlesticks, were lying a great number of papers and parchments. The three gentlemen rose when he entered, and Mr Gammon came and shook hands with him. "Mr Titmouse, let me introduce you to Mr Quirk-(This was the senior partner, a short, stout, elderly gentleman, with a shining bald head and white hair, and sharp black eyes, and who looked very earnestly at him) -and Mr Snap (this was the junior partner, having recently been promoted to be such after ten years' service in the office of managing clerk; he was about thirty, particularly welldressed, slight, active, and with a face like a terrier-so hard, sharp, and wiry! Mr Gammon himself was about forty, very genteel, with a ready bow, insinuating smile, and low tone of voice; his look, withal, acute and cautious.) "Yes" "Stopping out longer than I was allowed, and refusing to tell him what this gentleman and I had been talking about." "Don't think that'll do; sure it wont!" briskly exclaimed Mr Snap; "no just cause, that," and he jumped up, whisked down a book from the shelves behind him, and eagerly turned over the leaves. "Never mind that now, Mr Snap," said Mr Quirk, rather petulantly; surely we have other matters to talk about to-night." "Asking pardon, sir, but I think it does matter to me, sir," interposed Titmouse; "for on the 10th of next month I'm a beggar-being next door to it now." "Not quite, we trust," said Mr Gammon. "But Mr Tag-rag said he'd make me as good as one." "That's evidence to show malice," again eagerly interjected Mr Snap, who was again tartly rebuffed by Mr Quirk; even Mr Gammon turning towards him with a surprised" Really, Mr Snap!" "So Mr Tag-rag said he'd make you a beggar?" enquired Mr Quirk. "He vowed he would, sir!" "Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr Quirk and Mr Gammon-but such a laugh! and with a dash of deference in it. "A seat, Mr Titmouse," said Mr-not careless, or hearty, but subdued, Quirk, placing a chair for him, on which he sat down, they resuming theirs. Punctual, Mr Titmouse!" exclaimed Mr Gammon, with a smile; "more so than, I fear, you were yesterday, after our long interview, eh? Pray what did that worthy person, Mr Ragbag, say, on your return ?" "Say, gents?" (he tried to clear his throat, for he spoke somewhat more thickly, and his heart beat more perceptibly, than usual)-" I'm ruined by it, and no mistake." "Ruined! I'm sorry to hear it," interposed Mr Gammon, with a concerned air. " I am, indeed, sir. Such a towering rage as he has been in ever since; and he's given me warning to go on the 10th of next month." He thought he observed a faint smile flit over the faces of all three. "He has, indeed!" "Dear me, Mr Titmouse-what cause did he allege for dismissing you?" keenly enquired Mr Quirk. "Well-it perhaps may not signify much, by that time;" and he laughed again, again, followed by the soft laugh of Mr Gammon, and a kind of sharp quick sound, like a bark, from Mr Snap. "But, gents, you'll excuse me if I say I think it does signify to me, and an't any laughing matter! Without being rude, I'd rather come to business, if there's any to be done, without this laughing at me." "Laughing at you! my dear sir, no, no!" exclaimed all three in a breath "laughing with you" said Mr Quirk!-By the time you mention, you may perhaps be able to laugh at Mr Rag-bag, and every body else, for" [Why should we mince the matter?' he whispered, in a low tone, to Mr Gammon, who nodded acquiescence, and fixed his eyes earnestly on Titmouse.] "I really think we are warranted in preparing to expect by that time an extraordinary change in your circum"To be sure," confidently added Snap; who having devoted himself exclusively all his life to the sharpest practice of the common law as it is called, knew about as much of real property law as a snipe but it would not do to appear ignorant, or taking no part in the matter, in the presence of the heir-at-law, and the future great client of the House. "Well, Mr Titmouse," at length said Mr Quirk, laying aside his glasses -"you are likely to be one of the with writing at the ends of each of luckiest men of your day! We may stances." Titmouse began to tremble violently, and his hands were bedewed with a cold moisture." " I hear, sir," he murmured; and he also heard a faint ringing in his ears. " In all human probability, Mr Titmouse," continued Mr Quirk, himself a little excited with the important communication that trembled on the tip of his tongue, "you will erelong be put into possession of somewhere about Ten Thousand a-year." The words seemed to have struck Titmouse blind-as he saw nothing for some moments; then every thing seemed swimming around him, and he felt a sort of faintness or sickness stealing over him. They had hardly been prepared for their communication's aff affecting their visitor SO powerfully. Mr Snap hastened out and in with a glass of water; and the earnest attentions of the three soon restored Mr Titmouse to his senses. It was a good while, however, before he could appreciate the little conversation which they now and then addressed to him, or estimate the full importance of the astounding event Mr Quirk had just communicated. "May I make free to ask for a little brandy and water, gents? I feel all over in a kind of tremble, said he, some half an hour afterwards." "Yes-by all means, Mr Titmouse. Mr Snap, will you be kind enough to order Betty to bring in a glass of brandy and water from the Jolly Thieves, next door?"-Snap shot out, gave the order, and returned in a trice. The old woman, in a few minutes' time followed, with a large tumbler of dark brandy and water, quite hot, for which Mr Gammon apologized, but Mr Titmouse said he preferred it so and soon addressed himself to the inspiriting mixture. It quickly manifested its influence, reassuring him wonderfully. As he sat sipping it, Messrs Quirk, Gammon, and Snap being engaged in an earnest conversation, of which he could understand little or nothing, he had leisure to look about him, and observed that there was lying before them a large sheet of paper, at which they all of them often and earnestly looked, filled with lines, so them, and round and square figures. When he saw them all bending over and scrutinising this mysterious object, it puzzled him (and many a better head than his has a pedigree puzzled before) sorely, and he began to suspect it was a sort of conjuring. paper! "I hope, gents, that paper's all right-eh?" said he, supported by the brandy, which he had nearly finished. They turned towards him with a smile of momentary surprise, and then "We hope so-a vast deal depends on it," said Mr Quirk, looking over his glasses at Titmouse. Now what he had hinted at, as far as he could venture to do so, was a thought that glanced across his as yet unsettled brain, that there might have been invoked more than mere earthly assistance; but he prudently pressed the matter no farther-that was all Messrs Quirk, Gammon, and Snap's look out; he had been no party to any thing of the sort, nor would he, knowingly. He also observed the same sheets of paper written all over, which Mr Gammon had filled at his (Titmouse's) room, the night before; and many new and more old-looking papers and parchments. Sometimes they addressed questions to him, but found it somewhat difficult to keep his attention up to any thing that was said to him for the wild visions that were chasing one another through his heated brain; the passage of which said visions was not a little accelerated by the large tumbler of brandy and water which he had just taken. "Then, in fact," said Mr Gammon, as the three simultaneously sat down, after having been for some time standing poring over the paper before Mr Quirk. "Tittlebat's title accrued in 1818?" "Precisely so," said Mr Quirk emphatically. be mistaken, but it appears to us that your right is clear, and has been clear these ten or twelve years, to the immediate enjoyment of a very fine estate in the north of England, worth some £9000 or £10,000 a year, at the least!" "You dont say so!" "We do, indeed; and are very proud and happy indeed to be the honoured instruments of establishing your rights, my dear sir," said Mr Gammon. "Then all the money that's been spent this ten or twelve years is my money, is it?" "If we are right, it is undoubtedly as you say," answered Mr Quirk. "There'll be a jolly reckoning for some one, then, shortly-eh? My eyes!" "Ah, my dear Mr Titmouse," cried Mr Gammon, with subdued ecstasy, as before his mind's eye rose visions of interminable proceedings at law and in equity_hundreds upon hundreds of portly, red tape-tied cases,' 'briefs,' and 'motion papers,' with Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, at the bottom of each of them, and constantly under the eye of the court and the bar, and before the public, (the same kind of thoughts must have passed through Snap's mind, for he rubbed his hands in silence with an excited air.) "My dear Mr Titmouse, you have a most just regard for your own interests; there will be a reckoning, and a very terrible one, erelong, for somebody-but we've time enough for all that! Only let us have the unspeakable happiness of seeing you once fairly in possession of your estates, and our office shall know no rest till you have got all you are entitled toevery farthing even!" "Oh, never fear our letting them rest!" said Mr Quirk, judiciously accommodating himself to the taste and apprehension of his excited auditor"Those that must give up the goose, must give up the giblets also-ha, ha, ha!" Messrs Gammon and Snap echoed the laugh, and enjoyed the joke of the head of the firm. "Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Mr Titmouse, immensely excited by the conjoint influence of the brandy and the news of the night; "capital! capital! hurrah! Such goings on there will be! You're all of the right sort, I see! Law for ever! Let me shake hands with you all, gents! Come, if you please, all together! all friends to-night!"" And he grasped each of the three readily-proffered right hands of Messrs Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, with an energy that was likely to make all the high contracting parties to that quadruple alliance remember its ratification! "And is it all a ready-money affair, gents or rent, and all that kind of thing?" "Why, almost entirely the latter," answered Quirk, "except the accumulations." "Then I'm a great landlord, am I?" "Indeed, my dear Mr Titmouse, you are-(that is, unless we have made a blunder such as our house is not often in the habit of making)and have two very fine houses in different parts of the country." "Capital! delightful! I'll live in both of them-such goings on! And is it quite up to the mark of L.10,000 a-year?" "We really entertain no doubt." "And such as I can spend all of it, every year?" "Certainly no doubt of it-not the least. The rents are paid with most exemplary-at least," added Mr Gammon, with a captivating, an irresistible smile, and taking him affectionately by the hand-" at least they will be, as soon as we have them fairly in our management." "Oh, you're to get it all in for me, are you?" he enquired briskly. The three partners bowed, with the most deprecatingly disinterested air in the world, intimating that, for his sake, they were ready to take upon themselves even that troublesome responsibility! "Capital! couldn't be better! couldn't be better! Ah, ha, ha you've catched the goose, and must bring me its eggs. Ah, ha, ha! a touch in your line, old gents!" "Ha, ha, ha! excellent! ah, ha, ha!" laughed the three partners at the wit of their new client. Mr Titmouse joined them, and snapped his fingers in the air. "Lord I've just thought of Dowlas, Tag-rag and Company's-I seem as if I hadn't seen or heard of them for Lord knows how long!-but there they are! - fancy old Tag-rag making me a beggar on the 10th of next month-ha, ha, ha!-sha'n't see that dd hob any more." "There!" whispered Mr Gammon, apprehensively, in the ear of Mr Quirk; "didn't I tell you that that would be it? We've been monstrously foolish and premature." "It won't do to go back to thateugh!-eh? will it?-you know what I mean! Fancy Tittlebat Titmouse standing behind" The partners looked rather blank. "We could venture to suggest, Mr Titmouse," said Mr Gammon, seriously, "the absolute necessity there is for every thing on your part and our parts to go on as quietly as before, for a little time to come; to be sure and safe, my dear sir, we must be secret." "Oh, I see gents! I see; mum -mum's the word, for the present! But, I must say, if there is any one whom I want to hear of it, sooner than another, its" "Dowdy, Rag-bag, and Co., I suppose! ha, ha, ha!" interrupted Mr Gammon, his partners echoing his laugh. "Ha, ha, ha! Cuss the cats-that's it-ha, ha, ha!" echoed Mr Titmouse; who, getting up out of his chair, could not resist capering to and fro in something of the attitude of a stagedancer, whistling and humming by turns, and indulging in various other wild antics. "And now, gents, to do a bit of business-when am I to begin scattering the shiners, eh?" he enquired, interrupting an earnest low-toned conversation between the partners. "Oh, of course, some delay is unavoidable. All we have done, as yet, is to discover that, as far as we are advised, and can judge, you are the right owner; but very extensive operations must be immediately commenced, before you can be put in possession. There are some who won't be persuaded to drop L.10,000 a-year out of their hands for the mere asking." "The devil there are! Who are they that want to keep me any longer out of what's my own?-what's justly mine? Eh? I want to know! Haven't they kept me out long enough?-d-n'em! Put 'em in prison directly-don't spare 'em-rascals!" "They'll probably, erelong, find their way in that direction-for, however, he's to make up, poor devil, the mesne profits". "Mean profits?_ is that all you call them, gents? It's rogue's money -villain's profits! So don't spare 'em-he's robbed the fatherless, which I am, and an orphan! Keep me out of what's mine, indeed! D--d if he shall, though!" "My dear Mr Titmouse," said Gammon gravely, " we are getting on too fast dreadfully too fast. It will never do: matters of such immense importance as these cannot be hurried on, or talked of, in this way."- " I like that, sir!-I do, de!" " You will really, if you go on in this wild way, Mr Titmouse, make us regret the trouble we have taken in the affair, and especially the promptness with which we have communicated to you the extent of your good fortune." "Beg pardon, I'm sure, gents, but mean no offence; am monstrous obliged to you for what you've done for me-but, by Jove, it's taken me rather a-back, I own, to hear that I'm to be kept so long out of it all. Why can't you offer him, whoever he is that has my property, a handsome sum to go out at once? Gents, I'll own to you I'm most uncommon low-never so low in my life-d-d low! Done up, and can't get what's justly mine! What am I to do in the mean while? Consider that, gents." "You are rather excited just now, Mr Titmouse," said Mr Quirk, seriously; "suppose we now break up, and resume our conversation to-morrow, when we are all in better and calmer trim ?" "No, sir, thanking you all the same; but I think we'd better go on with it now," replied Titmouse, impetuously. "Do you think I can stoop to go back to that nasty, beastly, shop, and stand behind the counter?" 66 Our decided opinion, Mr Titmouse," said Mr Quirk, emphatically -his other partners getting very grave in their looks" that is, if our opinion is worth offering"- "That remains to be seen," said Titmouse, with a pettish shake of the head. "Well, such as it is, we offer it you; and it is, that for many reasons you continue, for a little while longer, in your present situation." "What! own Tag-rag for my master and I worth £10,000 a-year?" "My dear sir, you've not got it yet." "Do you think you'd have told me what you have, if you weren't sure? |