he is usually a man of parts, he may sometimes long for the social enjoyments of a more metropolitan sphere, but he is as much of a fixture as his semaphore, and while wending his way homeward and gazing around upon the limited horizon of his circumscribed environment, only the centainty of duty faithfully performed can cause his heart to throb with jubilant pulsations. "Let not ambition mock their useful toil, Their homely joys and destiny obscure." -By JOHN J. SHANLEY, in the Chautauquan for June. THE KNOCKER'S OBLIGATION., -, hereby solemnly and sincerely swear that I will report the business and proceedings of all meetings of this union to my employers as soon as possible after adjournment, and publicly discuss the business of the organization with any person who will pay for the drinks; that I will violate the constitution whenever I think it will not be found out; that I will accept less than the union scale of wages, and work overtime without pay if it will make me solid with the superintendent (I will also keep him supplied with cigars); that I will never speak in meeting, but will always kick about everything that is done as soon as I get outside; that I will never keep my dues paid up, that I will vote against every assessment, and never contribute to other unions when they are in trouble; that I will start insinuating rumors about the prominent workers; question the honesty of the officers, cast my ballot against all union candidates for public positions, and will discriminate against all who are not of my nationality or creed; that I will never subscribe for a labor paper, nor will I advise any one to join the union, that I will stand on the sidewalk on Labor Day and make fun of those in the parade; that I will never buy goods bearing the union label if I can save a cent by purchasing products of child labor, sweat shops or State prisons; and that I will do any ana everything that lies in my power to bring discredit upon the labor movement. To all of which I pledge my most sacred honorsuch as it is.-The Kicker. "WHO FLAGGED NO. 2?" WAS sitting in my office on the Railroad at a small station on duty as night operator. The nearest night stations were some twenty miles on either side of me, with station between us where no night operators were located. It was in the middle of the winter and one of its coldest and stormiest nights, ordinary vision not extending over ten car lengths. An extra east had side-tracked to meet a fast freight at the first station west of me. After the fast freight had gone the extra was unable to get all their train out of the siding, account being frozen up, and took what they could handle and doubled to the station where I was. On arriving there they discovered it would be necessary to have a supply of water before they could get the balance of the train. The nearest water station was twenty miles farther east of me, where they started for. On arriving they got orders to return extra to where their train was, but received no time on No. 2, the Cannon-ball Express due at my station at 2 a. m., which was on time, but account of trouble with the engine had been delayed a few minutes at the east station. The dispatcher called me at 1:50 a. m. and said to "OS" No. 2 soon as by, so doing he could figure on a meet with the west-bound express, they meeting down the line a few stations. He said the extra would have to stay at the next station for No. 2. As very few trains stopped at my station I had to be very particular about my target to see that it was burning so not to stop them. I went out to take a look at it before No. 2 showed up, as they made their fastest running time along this piece of track, and I did not want to have my light go out when they were coming, or else I would have to look for another job. As I was standing out there sizing up the night I heard a whistle from the east. This was then 2:10 a. m. I could not imagine what could be coming, as I knew No. 2 was past due and was sure no one had any time on them. I went in and asked the dispatcher if any one had any help on No. 2. He replied, no. I asked him what time it was; he replied 2:10 by hearing the air applied on No. 2, and a. m. I then told him there was something coming from the east. He said, No, you are mistaken; No. 2 is due there now ten minutes ago, and should be there in five minutes sure. I was sure I was not mistaken and went and listened and I could hear an engine, and was so sure of it I took the safe side. I put my board out and grabbed my red light and couple of torpedoes and started down the track as fast as possible. It had flashed across my mind that there must be some mistake; that the crew on the extra had either forgotten No. 2 or else they had gone crazy to be on No. 2's time. When I had gotten far enough to give No. 2 a chance to stop before they got to the office, I placed my torpedoes and hurried on. I had not gone very far before I could hear them coming, and they were on me in a short time. I commenced to signal them; I received no answer, and as I stepped to one side they whirled by me at a furious speed, and I knew unless the torpedo was heard nothing could prevent a serious accident, as I was satisfied the extra for some reason was on the main line and I figured that my target would stop them and hoped that No. 2 would be able to bring their train to a stop. I hurried after No. 2, as I knew in another instant they would strike the torpedo and would know if this warning was heard. But at this moment I was relieved by the grinding and squealing I knew he was touching them hard. By the time I arrived at the office No. 2 was about five car-lengths the other side of the office. I went in and put the red lantern away and came out and went up to see what had happened, as I could see there was something the trouble. When I got at the head end the extra and No. 2's engines had come together very light, causing very little damage and only derailed a pair of trucks on the extra's tender, which was soon on the rails. The engineer on the extra said he had forgotten all about No. 2; did not know what could have stopped No. 2. They had not missed me from the office so I said nothing about flagging No. 2. The engineer on No. 2 said he thought once he had seen a red light, but the storm was so bad he concluded it must have been a switch light, as it was on a curve and the switch lights would show red until they hit the straight track. But no one seemed to know who it was that flagged No. 2 or put the torpedo on the track. It turned into a mystery that no one seemed able to solve, and as I did not care for any notoriety I said nothing, and it became the talk of the whole line as to who saved No. 2 and it remains the same yet. If any of the crews should read this they will know that No. 2 was saved by a $40 night owl. CERT. 1142. The Business Instinct. Ted-What became of his summer hotel that failed because the place was so unhealthy? Ned-Oh, he's running it now as a sanitarium.-Judge. He knew. "Dad," said little Reginald, "what is a bucket-shop?" "A bucket-shop, my son," said the father, feelingly, "a bucket-shop is a modern cooperage establishment to which a man takes a barrel and brings back the bung-hole."— Town Topics. Nothing Doin'. "Just one kiss, dear, before I go," pleaded the young physician. "None of that for me, thank you," rejoined the fair maid. "I don't like the idea of having a doctor's bill thrust under my nose."-Cincinnati Enquirer. Mutual Compliments. "Mabel," said George, with his fine, open smile, "I'm going to be frank and truthful with you from the start, as I mean to be always when we are married. You are not as beautiful as many girls, but you have more common sense and good nature than any other half dozen girls I have ever known." "Thank you, dear George," said Mabel, sweetly, "and now I'll be frank and truthful with you, as I know you want to have me. You have no more tact than a goat, but you have the broadest and most constant smile of any man, woman or child I have ever seen, and it shows-" But George's desire for frankness had suffered a blight, and he made it perfectly clear to Mabel that he did not know what his smile showed,-Youth's Companion. care to |