Brass. Ay, but 'tis from you, by your leave, sir, that I expect it. [Going after him. Gripe. You expect, you rogue, to make your escape, do you? But I have other accounts besides this to make up with you. To be sure the dog has cheated me of two hundred and fifty pound. Come, villain, give me an account of—

Brass. Account of!-sir, give me an account of my necklace, or I'll make such a noise in your house I'll raise the devil in't.

Gripe. Well said, Courage!

Brass. Blood and thunder, give it me, orGripe. Come, hush, be wise, and I'll make no noise of this affair.

Brass. You'll make no noise! but I'll make a noise, and a damned noise too. Oh, don't think to

Gripe. I tell thee I will not hang thee. Brass. But I tell you I will hang you, if you don't give me my necklace. I will, rot me!

Gripe. Speak softly, be wise; how came it thine? who gave it thee?

Brass. A gentleman, a friend of mine.
Gripe. What's his name?

Brass. His name !-I'm in such a passion I have forgot it.

Gripe. Ah, brazen rogue-thou hast stole it from my wife! 'tis the same she lost six weeks ago.

Brass. This has not been in England a month.
Gripe. You are a son of a whore.

Brass. Give me my necklace.

Gripe. Give me my two hundred and fifty pound

he looks how his eyes roll in his head! tie him down, or he'll do some mischief or other.

Gripe. Let me come at him.

Clar. Hold!-prithee, my dear, reduce things to a little temperance, and let us coolly into the secret of this disagreeable rupture.

Gripe. Well then, without passion. Why, you must know (but I'll have him hanged,) you must know that he came to Mr. Clip, to Mr. Clip the dog did!-with a necklace to sell; so Mr. Clip having notice before that (can you deny this, sirrah ?) that you had lost yours, brings it to me. Look at it here, do you know it again?-Ah, you traitor ! [TO BRASS. Here's an appearcompany, and yet

Brass. He makes me mad! ance of something now to the nothing in't in the bottom.

Enter Constable.

Clar. Flippanta!—

[Aside to FLIPPANTA, showing the necklace. Flip. 'Tis it, faith; here's some mystery in this, we must look about us.

Clar. The safest way is point blank to disown the necklace.

Flip. Right, stick to that.

Gripe. Well, madam, do you know your old acquaintance, ha?

Clar. Why, truly, my dear, though (as you may all imagine) I should be very glad to recover so valuable a thing as my necklace, yet I must be just to all the world, this necklace is not mine.

Brass. Huzza-Here, constable, do your duty. -Mr. Justice, I demand my necklace, and satisfaction of him.

Gripe. I'll die before I part with it, I'll keep it, and have him hanged.

Clar. But be a little calm, my dear, do, my bird, and then thou'lt be able to judge rightly of things.

Gripe. O good lack! O good lack!

Clar. No, but don't give way to fury and interest both, either of 'em are passions strong enough to lead a wise man out of the way. The necklace not being really mine, give it the man again, and come drink a dish of tea.

Brass. Ay, madam says right.

Gripe. Oons, if you with your addle head don't know your own jewels, I with my solid one do and if I part with it, may famine be my portion!

Clar. But don't swear and curse thyself at this fearful rate: don't, my dove. Be temperate in your words, and just in all your actions, 'twill bring a blessing upon you and your family.

Gripe. Bring thunder and lightning upon me and my family, if I part with my necklace!

Clar. Why you'll have the lightning burn your house about your ears, my dear, if you go on in these practices.

Mon. A most excellent woman this!

Enter Mrs. AMLET.

Gripe. I'll keep my necklace.

[Aside.

Brass. Will you so? then here comes one has a title to it, if I han't.-[Aside.] Let Dick bring himself off with her as he can.1.-[Aloud.] Mrs. Amlet, you are come in a very good time; you lost

a necklace t'other day, and who do you think has got it?

Mrs. Aml. Marry that know I not, I wish I did.

Brass. Why then here's Mr. Gripe has it, and swears 'tis his wife's.

Gripe. And so I do, sirrah!-Look here, mistress, do you pretend this is yours?

Mrs. Aml. Not for the round world I would not say it; I only kept it, to do madam a small courtesy, that's all.

Clar. Ah, Flippanta, all will out now! [Aside to FLIPPANTA. Gripe. Courtesy ! what courtesy ? Mrs. Aml. A little money only that madam had present need of, please to pay me that, and I demand no more.

Brass. So here's fresh game; I have started a new hare, I find.

Gripe. How, forsooth, is this true?

[Aside.

[TO CLARISSA.

Clar. You are in a humour at present, love, to believe anything, so I won't take the pains to contradict it.

Brass. This damned necklace will spoil all our affairs, this is Dick's luck again.

[Aside.

Gripe. Are you not ashamed of these ways? Do you see how you are exposed before your best friends here? don't you blush at it?

Clar. I do blush, my dear, but 'tis for you, that here it should appear to the world, you keep me so bare of money, I'm forced to pawn my jewels.

Gripe. Impudent housewife!

[Raising his hand to strike her. Clar. Softly, chicken; you might have prevented all this by giving me the two hundred and fifty pound you sent to Araminta e'en

now.

Brass. You see, sir, I delivered your note. How I have been abused to-day! Gripe. I'm betrayed!-Jades on both sides, I see that! [Aside.

Mon. But, madam, madam, is this true I hear? Have you taken a present of two hundred and fifty pound? Pray what were you to return for these pounds, madam, ha?

Aram. Nothing, my dear; I only took 'em to reimburse you of about the same sum you sent to Clarissa.

Mon. Hum, hum, hum!

Gripe. How, gentlewoman, did you receive money from him?

Clar. Oh, my dear, 'twas only in jest; I knew you'd give it again to his wife.

Mrs. Aml. But amongst all this tintamar, I don't hear a word of my hundred pounds. Is it madam will pay me, or master?

Gripe. I pay the devil shall pay !

Clar. Look you, my dear, malice apart, pay Mrs. Amlet her money, and I'll forgive you the wrong you intended my bed with Araminta. Am not I a good wife now?

Gripe. I burst with rage, and will get rid of this noose, though I tuck myself up in another.

Mon. Nay, pray, e'en tuck me up with you. [Exeunt MONEYTRAP and GRIPE.

Clar. and Aram. Bye, dearies!

Enter DICK AMLET.

Cor. Look, look, Flippanta, here's the colonel come at last!

Dick. Ladies, I ask your pardon, I have stayed so long, but

Mrs. Aml. Ah, rogue's face, have I got thee, old Good-for-nought? Sirrah, sirrah, do you think to amuse me with your marriages, and your great fortunes? Thou hast played me a rare prank, by my conscience! Why, you ungracious rascal, what do you think will be the end of all this? Now Heaven forgive me, but I have a great mind to hang thee for't.

Cor. She talks to him very familiarly, Flippanta! Flip. So methinks, by my faith!

Brass. Now the rogue's star is making an end

of him.

Dick. What shall I do with her?

[Aside

[Aside

Mrs. Aml. Do but look at him, my dames: he has the countenance of a cherubim, but he's a rogue in his heart.

Clar. What is the meaning of all this, Mrs. Amlet?

Mrs. Aml. The meaning, good lack! Why this all-to-be-powdered rascal here is my son, an't please you.-Ha, Graceless! Now I'll make you own your mother, vermin!

Clar. What, the colonel your son ?

Mrs. Aml. 'Tis Dick, madam, that rogue Dick I have so often told you of, with tears trickling down my old cheeks.

Aram. The woman's mad, it can never be. Mrs. Aml. Speak, rogue, am I not thy mother, ha? Did I not bring thee forth? say then.

Dick. What will you have me say? you had a mind to ruin me, and you have done't; would you do any more!

Clar. Then, sir, you are son to good Mrs. Amlet?

Aram. And have had the assurance to put upon us all this while !

Flip. And the confidence to think of marrying Corinna ?

Brass. And the impudence to hire me for your servant, who am as well born as yourself?

Clar. Indeed I think he should be corrected. Aram. Indeed I think he deserves to be cudgelled.

:

Flip. Indeed I think he might be pumped. Brass. Indeed I think he will be hanged. Mrs. Aml. Good lack a-day! Good lack a-day! there's no need to be so smart upon him neither if he is not a gentleman, he's a gentleman's fellow.-Come hither, Dick, they shan't run thee down neither; cock up thy hat, Dick, and tell 'em, though Mrs. Amlet is thy mother, she can make thee amends with ten thousand good pounds to buy thee some lands, and build thee a house in the midst on't.

All. How!

Clar. Ten thousand pounds, Mrs. Amlet!

Mrs. Aml. Yes forsooth, though I should lose the hundred you pawned your necklace for.-Tell 'em of that, Dick.

Cor. Look you, Flippanta, I can hold no longer, and I hate to see the young man abused.-And so, sir, if you please, I'm your friend and servant, and what's mine is yours; and when our estates are put together, I don't doubt but we shall do as well as the best of 'em.

Dick. Sayest thou so, my little queen? Why then if dear mother will give us her blessing, the parson shall give us a tack. We'll get her a score of grandchildren, and a merry house we'll make her. [They kneel to Mrs. AMLET.

Mrs. Aml. Ah-ha! ha! ha! ha! the pretty pair, the pretty pair! Rise my chickens, rise, rise and face the proudest of 'em. And if madam does not deign to give her consent, a fig for her, Dick!-Why, how now?

Clar. Pray, Mrs. Amlet, don't be in a passion, the girl is my husband's girl, and if you can have

his consent, upon my word you shall have mine, for anything belongs to him.

Flip. Then all's peace again, but we have been more lucky than wise.

Aram. And I suppose for us, Clarissa, we are to go on with our dears, as we used to do.

Clar. Just in the same tract, for this late treaty of agreement with 'em was so unnatural you see it could not hold. But 'tis just as well with us as if it had. Well, 'tis a strange fate, good folks! But while you live, everything gets well out of a broil but a husband. [Exeunt omnes.

I've heard wise men in politics lay down
What feats by little England might be done,
Were all agreed, and all would act as one.
Ye wives a useful hint from this might take,
The heavy, old, despotic kingdom shake,
And make your matrimonial monsieurs quake.
Our heads are feeble, and we're cramp'd by laws;
Our hands are weak, and not too strong our cause:
Yet would those heads and hands, such as they are,
In firm confederacy resolve on war,

You'd find your tyrants-what I've found my dear.
What only two united can produce

You've seen to-night, a sample for your use:
Single, we found we nothing could obtain ;
We join our force-and we subdued our men.
Believe me (my dear sex) they are not brave;
Try each your man; you'll quickly find your slave.

I know they'll make campaigns, risk blood and life; But this is a more terrifying strife;

They'll stand a shot, who'll tremble at a wife.
Beat then your drums, and your shrill trumpets
sound,

Let all your visits of your feats resound,
And deeds of war in cups of tea go round:
The stars are with you, fate is in your hand,
In twelve months' time you've vanquish'd half the
land;

Be wise, and keep 'em under good command.
This year will to your glory long be known,
And deathless ballads hand your triumphs down;
Your late achievements ever will remain,
For though you cannot boast of many slain,
Your prisoners show you've made a brave cam-
paign.

mighty deep. A stander-by, sir, sees more than a gamester. You are pleased to be jealous of your poor mistress without a cause. She uses you but too well, in my humble opinion. She sees you, and talks with you, till I am quite tired on't sometimes; and your rival, that you are so scared about, forces a visit upon her about once in a fortnight.

Don Car. Alas! thou art ignorant in these affairs he that's the civilest received is often the least cared for. Women appear warm to one, to hide a flame for another. Lorenzo, in short, appears too composed of late to be a rejected lover; and the indifference he shows upon the favours I seem to receive from her, poisons the pleasure I else should taste in 'em, and keeps me on a perpetual rack. No! I would fain see some of his jealous transports; have him fire at the sight o' me, contradict me whenever I speak, affront me wherever he meets me, challenge me, fight me

San. Run you through the guts.

Don Car. But he's too calm, his heart's too much at ease, to leave me mine at rest.

San. But, sir, you forget that there are two ways for our hearts to get at ease: when our mistresses come to be very fond of us, or we, not to care a fig for them. Now suppose, upon the rebukes you know he has had, it should chance to be the latter.

Don Car. Again thy ignorance appears. Alas! a lover who has broke his chain will shun the tyrant that enslaved him. Indifference never is his lot; he loves or hates for ever; and if his mistress prove another's prize, he cannot calmly see her in his arms.

San. For my part, master, I'm not so great a philosopher as you be, nor (thank my stars) so bitter a lover, but what I see- - that I generally believe; and when Jacinta tells me she loves me dearly, I have good thoughts enough of my person never to doubt the truth on't. See, here the baggage comes.

Enter JACINTA with a letter.

Hist, Jacinta, my dear!

San. Hard by.

Jac. Who's that? Blunderbuss! Where's your master? [Pointing to Don Carlos. Jac. O, sir! I'm glad I have found you at last; I believe I have travelled five miles after you, and could neither find you at home, nor in the walks, nor at church, nor at the opera, nor

San. Nor anywhere else, where he was not to be found. If you had looked for him where he was, 'twas ten to one but you had met with him. Jac. I had, Jack-a-dandy!

Don Car. But, prithee, what's the matter? who sent you after me?

Jac. One who's never well but when she sees you, I think; 'twas my lady.

Don Car. Dear Jacinta, I fain would flatter myself, but am not able; the blessing's too great to be my lot. Yet 'tis not well to trifle with me: how short soe'er I am in other merit, the tenderness I have for Leonora claims something from her generosity. I should not be deluded.

Jac. And why do you think you are? methinks she's pretty well above-board with you. What must be done more to satisfy you?

San. Why, Lorenzo must hang himself, and then we are content.

Jac. How Lorenzo !
San. If less will do, he'll tell you.

Jac. Why, you are not mad, sir, are you? Jealous of him! Pray which way may this have got into your head? I took you for a man of sense before.-[To SANCHO.] Is this your doings, Log?

San. No, forsooth, Pert! I'm not much given to suspicion, as you can tell, Mrs. Forward: if I were, I might find more cause, I guess, than your mistress has given our master here. But I have so many pretty thoughts of my own person, housewife, more than I have of yours, that I stand in dread of no man.

Jac. That's the way to prosper; however, so far I'll confess the truth to thee; at least, if that don't do, nothing else will. Men are mighty simple in love-matters, sir. When you suspect a woman's falling off, you fall a-plaguing her to bring her on again, attack her with reason, and a sour face. Udslife, sir! attack her with a fiddle, double your good-humour; give her a ball-powder your periwig at her-let her cheat you at cards a little-and I'll warrant all's right again. But to come upon a poor woman with the gloomy face of jealousy, before she gives the least occasion for't, is to set a complaisant rival in too favourable a light. Sir, sir! I must tell you, I have seen those have owed their success to nothing else.

Don Car. Say no more, I have been to blame; but there shall be no more on't.

Jac. I should punish you but justly, however, for what's past, if I carried back what I have brought you; but I'm good-natured, so here 'tis ; open it, and see how wrong you timed your jealousy!

Don Car. [Reads.] If you love me with that tenderness you have made me long believe you do, this letter will be welcome; 'tis to tell you, you have leave to plead a daughter's weakness to a father's indulgence and if you prevail with him to lay his commands upon me, you shall be as happy as my obedience to 'em can make you.

LEONORA. Then I shall be what man was never yet.-[Kissing the letter.] Ten thousand blessings on thee for thy news!-I could adore thee as a deity!

[Embracing JACINTA. San. True flesh and blood, every inch of her, for all that.

Don Car. [Reads again.] And if you prevail with him to lay his commands upon me, you shall be as happy as my obedience to 'em can make you. -O happy, happy Carlos !-But what shall I say to thee for this welcome message? Alas! I want words. But let this speak for me, and this, and this, and[Giving her his ring, watch, and purse. San. Hold, sir; pray leave a little something for our board-wages. [To JACINTA.] You can't carry 'em all, I believe: shall I ease thee of this? [Offering to take the purse.

Jac. No; but you may carry-that, sirrah.

[Giving him a box on the ear. San. The jade's grown purse-proud already. Don Car. Well, dear Jacinta, say something to your charming mistress, that I am not able to say myself: but above all, excuse my late unpardonable folly, and offer her my life to expiate my crime.

Jac. The best plea for pardon will be never to repeat the fault.