very fad one by the fifth of the next month. I have the farewel of a general, with a truncheon in his hand, dying for love, in fix lines. I have the principles of a politician (who does all the mischief in the play), together with his declaration on the vanity of ambition in his laft moments, expreffed in a page and an half. I have all my oaths ready, and my fimilies want nothing but application. I will not pretend to give you an account of the plot, it being the fame defign upon which all tragedies have been writ for feveral years laft paft; and from the beginning of the firft fcene, the frequenters of the houfe may know as well as the author, when the battle is to be fought, the lady to yield, and the hero proceed to his wedding and coronation. Befides thefe advantages which I have in readiness, I have an eminent tragedian very much my friend, who fhall come in and go through the whole five acts, without troubling me for one fentence, whether he is to kill or be killed, love or be loved, win battles or lose them, or whatever other tragical performance I fhall please to affign him.

From my own Apartment, May 30.

I have this day received a letter, fubfcribed FIDELIA, that gives me an account of an in

chantment

chantment under which a young lady fuffers, and defires my help to exorcife her from the power of the forcerer. Her lover is a rake of fixty; the lady a virtuous woman of twentyfive her relations are to the last degree afflicted, and amazed at this irregular paffion : their forrow I know not how to remove, but can their aftonishment; for there is no fpirit in woman half fo prevalent as that of contradiction, which is the fole caufe of her perfeverance. Let the whole family go dreffed in a body, and call the bride to-morrow morning to her nuptials, and I will undertake the inconftant will forget her lover in the midst of all his aches. But if this expedient does not fucceed, I must be so just to the young lady's dif tinguishing fenfe, as to applaud her choice. A

fine young woman, at laft, is but what is due from fate to an honeft fellow, who has fuffered fo unmercifully by the fex; and I think we cannot celebrate her heroic virtue, who (like the patriot that ended a peftilence by plunging himfelf into a gulph) gives herself up to gorge that dragon which has devoured fo many virgins before her.

στ

66

A letter directed" To ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Efquire, Aftrologer and Phyfician in Ordinary to her Majefty's fubjects of Great-Britain, with refpect," is come to hand.

N° 23.

N° 23.

Thursday, June 2, 1709.

STEEL E.

Quicquid agunt bomines

naftri eft farrago libelli.

Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86.

P.

"Whate'er men do, or fay, or think, or dream, Our motley paper feizes for it's theme."

Tof
THE

White's Chocolate-house, May 31.

very

fond

a

HE generality of mankind are fo of this world, and of ftaying in it, that man cannot have eminent fkill in any one art, but they will, in fpite of his teeth, make him a phyfician alfo, that being the fcience the worldlings have moft nced of. I pretended, when I first fet up, to aftrology only; but, I am told, I have deep fkill in medicine. I am applied to now by a gentleman for my advice. in behalf of his wife, who, upon the leaft matrimonial difficulty, is exceffively troubled with fits, and can bear no manner of paffion without falling into immediate convulfions. I muft confefs it is a cafe I have known before, and remember the party was recovered by cer

tain words pronounced in the midst of the fit, by the learned doctor who performed the cure. These ails have usually their beginning from the affections of the mind: therefore you muft have patience to let me give you an instance, whereby you may difcern the cause of the dif temper, and then proceed in cure as follows:

A fine town-lady was married to a gentleman of ancient defcent in one of the counties of Great Britain, who had good-humour to a weaknefs, and was that fort of perfon, of whom it is usually faid, he is no man's enemy but his own one who had too much tenderness of foul to have any authority with his wife; and the too little fenfe to give him any authority, for that reafon. His kind wife obferved this temper in him, and made proper ufe of it. But, knowing it was below a gentlewoman to wrangle, the refolved upon an expedient to fave decorum, and wear her dear to her point at the fame time. She therefore took upon her to govern him, by falling into fits whenever he was repulfed in a requeft, or contradicted in a difcourfe. It was a fish-day, when, in the midst of her husband's good-humour at table, fhe bethought herself to try her project. She made figns that he had fwallowed a bone. The man grew pale as afhes, and ran to her affiftance, calling for drink. "No, my dear," said she, recovering, "it "is down; do not be frightened." This accident betrayed his foftnefs enough. The next day

The

fhe complained, a lady's chariot, whose hufband had not half his eftate, had a crane-neck, and hung with twice the air that hers did. He answered, "Madam, you know my income; you "know I have loft two coach-horfes this fpring." -down the fell." Hartfhorn! Betty, "Sufan, Alice, throw water in her face." With much care and pains, fhe was at last brought to herself, and the vehicle in which the vifited was amended in the niceft manner, to prevent relapfes; but they frequently happened during that husband's whole life, which he had the good fortune to end in few years after. The difconfolate foon pitched upon a very agreeable fucceffor, whom the very prudently defigned to govern by the fame method. This man knew her little arts, and refolved to break through all tenderness, and be abfolute mafter as foon as occafion offered. One day it happened, that a difcourfe arofe about furniture: he was very glad of the occafion, and fell into an invective against china, protefting, he would never let five pounds more of his money be laid out that way as long as he breathed *. She immediatly fainted

*About this time a fashion of collecting ufelefs pieces of china began to be very prevalent. It was indulged for fome years at great expence, and to aftonishing degrees. Nothing was to be feen but vaft pyramids of this ware in beaufets, on chimney-picces, and wherever they could be placed; infomuch that houfes in thofe days looked more like fhops full of this merchandize