• had eternally obliged him. I was fo furprized at his • Gratitude, that I could not forbear faying, What • Service is there which one Man can do for another, ⚫ that can oblige him to all Eternity! However I only asked him for my Reward, that he would lend ⚫ me his eldest Daughter during my Stay in this Country; but I quickly found that he was as treacherous as the rest of his Countrymen. AT my firft going to Court, one of the great • Men almost put me out of Countenance, by asking ⚫ ten thousand Pardons of me for only treading by Ac⚫cident upon my Toe. They call this kind of Lye a Compliment; for when they are civil to a great Man, they tell him Untruths, for which thou ⚫ wouldest order any of thy Officers of State to re⚫ceive a hundred Blows upon his Foot. I do not ⚫ know how I fhall negociate any thing with this People, fince there is fo little Credit to be given to 'em. When I go to fee the King's Scribe, I am generally told that he is not at home, tho' perhaps I faw him go into his House almost the very Moment before. Thou wouldeft fancy that the whole Nation are Physicians, for the firft Question they always • ask me, is, How I do? I have this Queftion put to me above a hundred times a Day. Nay, they are not only thus inquifitive after my Health, but wish it ⚫ in a more folemn Manner, with a full Glafs in their • Hands, every time I fit with them at Table, tho' at the fame time they would perfwade me to drink ⚫ their Liquors in fuch Quantities as I have found by Experience will make me fick. They often pretend to pray for thy Health alfo in the fame Manner but I have more Reason to expect it from the Good• nefs of thy Constitution, that the Sincerity of their Wishes. May thy Slave escape in Safety from this double-tongued Race of Men, and live to lay him⚫ felf once more at thy Feet in the Royal City of • Bantam. Wednesday, FASCIATES N° 558. Wednesday, June 23. Qui fit, Macenas, ut nemo, quam fibi fortem · I Catera de genere hoc (adeo funt multa) loquacens Hor. T is a celebrated Thought of Socrates, that if all the Misfortunes of Mankind were caft into a publick Stock, in order to be equally diftributed among the whole Species, those who now think themselves the most unhappy, would prefer the Share they are already poffefs'd of, before that which would fall to them by fuch a Divifion. Horace has carried this Thought a great deal further in the Motto of my Paper, which implies that the Hardships or Misfortunes we lye under, are more eafy to us than thofe of any other Perfon would be, in cafe we could change Conditions with him. AS I was ruminating on these two Remarks, and feated in my Elbow-Chair, I infenfibly fell asleep; VOL. VIII, when, B when, on a fudden, methought there was a Proclamation made by Jupiter, that every Mortal fhould bring in his Griefs and Calamities, and throw them together in a Heap. There was a large Plain appointed for this Purpose. I took my Stand in the Center of it, and faw with a great deal of Pleasure the whole human Species marching one after another, and throwing down their feveral Loads, which immediately grew up into a prodigious Mountain that feemed to rife above the Clouds. THERE was a certain Lady of a thin airy Shape, who was very active in this Solemnity. She carried a magnifying Glafs in one of her Hands, and was cloathed in a loose flowing Robe, embroidered with feveral Figures of Fiends and Spectres, that discovered themselves in a thousand chimerical Shapes, as her Garment hovered in the Wind. There was fomething wild and diftracted in her Looks. Her Name was FANCY. She led up every Mortal to the appointed Place, after having very officiously affifted him in making up his Pack, and laying it upon his Shoulders. My Heart melted within me to fee my Fellow-Creatures groaning under their respective Burthens, and to confider that prodigious Bulk of human Calamities which lay before me. THERE were however feveral Perfons who gave me great Diverfion upon this Occafion. I obferved one bringing in a Fardel very carefully concealed under an old embroidered Cloak, which, upon his throwing it into the Heap, I difcovered to be Poverty nother, after a great deal of puffing, threw down his Luggage; which, upon examining, I found to be his Wife. A THERE were Multitudes of Lovers faddled with very whimfical Burthens, compofed of Darts and Flames; but, what was very odd, tho' they fighed as if their Hearts would break under thefe Bundles of Calamities, they could not perfwade them elves to caft them into the Heap, when they came up to it; but after a few faint Efforts, fhook their Heads and march ed ed away, as heavy loaden as they came. I faw Multi tudes of old Women throw down their Wrinkles, and feveral young ones who stripped themselves of a tawny Skin. There were very great Heaps of red Nofes, large Lips, and rufty Teeth. The Truth of it is, I was furprized to fee the greatest Part of the Mountain made up of bodily Deformities. Obferving one advancing towards the Heap with a larger Cargo than ordinary upon his Back, I found upon his near Approach, that it was only a natural Hump, which he difpofed of, with great Joy of Heart, among this Collection of human Mileries. There were likewife Diftempers of all Sorts, tho' I could not but obferve, that there were many more imaginary than real. One little Packet I could not but take Notice of, which was a Complication of all the Diseases incident to human Nature, and was in the Hand of a great many fine People: This was called the Spleen. But what most of all furprized me, was a Remark I made, that there was not a fingle Vice or Folly thrown into the whole Heap: At which I was very much astonished, having concluded within my self, that every one would take this Opportunity of getting rid of his Paffions, Prejudices and Frailties. I took Notice in particular of a very profligate Fellow, who I did not queftion came loaden with his Crimes, but upon fearching into his Bundle, I found that inftead of throwing his Guilt from him, he had only laid down his Memory. He was follow'd by another worthless Roguc, who flung away his Modesty inftead of his Ignorance. WHEN the whole Race of Mankind had thus caft their Burdens, the Phantome which had been fo bufie on this Occafion, feeing me an idle Spectator of what paffed, approached towards me. I grew uneafie at her Prefence, when of a fudden fhe held her magnifying Glafs full before my Eyes. I no fooner faw my Face in it, but was startled at the Shortness of it, which now appeared to me in its utmost Aggravation. The immoderate Breath of the Features made me very much out of Humour with my own Countenance, upon which I threw it from me like a Mask. It happened very luckily, that one who ftood by me had just before thrown down his Vifage, which, it feems, was too long for him. It was indeed extended to a moft fhameful length; I believe the very Chin was, modeftly fpeaking, as long as my whole Face. We had both of us an Opportunity of mending our felves, and, all the Contributions being now brought in, every Man was at Liberty to exchange his Misfortune for thofe of another Perfon. But as there arofe many new Incidents in the Sequel of my Vision, I fhall referve them for the Subject of my next Paper. N° 559. Friday, June 25. Quid caufa eft, meritò quin illis Jupiter ambas IN Hor. N my laft Paper, I gave my Reader a Sight of that Mountain of Miferies, which was made up of those several Calamities that afflict the Minds of Men. I faw, with unfpeakable Pleasure, the whole Species thus delivered from its Sorrows: though, at the fame time, as we ftood round the Heap, and furveyed the feveral Materials of which it was compofed, there was scarce a Mortal, in this vaft Multitude, who did not discover what he thought Pleasures and Bleffings of Life; and wonder'd how the Owners of them ever came to look upon them as Burthens and Grie vances. AS we were regarding very attentively this Confufion of Micies, this Chaos of Calamity, Jupiter iffued out a fecond Proclamat on, that every one was now at Liberty to exchange his Affliction, and to return to |