tance pointed at by the Writer. I remember an empty pragmatical Fellow in the Country, who upon reading over the whole Duty of Man, had written the Names of feveral Perfons in the Village at the Side of every Sin which is mentioned by that excellent Author; fo that he had converted one of the best Books in the World into a Libel against the 'Squire, Churchwardens, Overfeers of the Poor, and all other the most confiderable Perfons in the Parifh. This Book with these extraordinary marginal Notes fell accidentally into the Hands of one who had never seen it before; upon which there arofe a current Report that Some body had written a Book against the 'Squire and the whole Parish. The Minifter of the Place having at that Time a Controversy with fome of his Congregation upon the Account of his Tythes, was under fome Sufpicion of being the Author, 'till the good Man fet his People right, by fhewing them that the fatyrical Paffages might be applied to feveral others of two or three neighbouring Villages, and that the Book was writ against all the Sinners in England.

N° 569.

Monday, July 19.

Reges dicuntur multis urgere culullis

Et torquere mero, quem perfpexiffe laborent,

An fit amicitia dignus

N

Hor.

O Vices are fo incurable as thofe which Men are apt to glory in. One would wonder how Drunkennels fhould have the good Luck to be of this Number. Anacharfs, being invited to a Match of Drinking at Corinth, demanded the Prize very humorously, becaule he was drunk before any of the reft of the Company; for, fays he, when we run a Race, he who arrives at the Goal firft is entitled to the Reward: On the contrary, in this thirsty Generation the Honour falls upon him who carries off the greatest

greatest Quantity of Liquor, and knocks down the
reft of the Company. I was the other Day with ho-
neft Will. Funnell the West Saxon, who was reckoning
up how much Liquor had paft through him in the
laft twenty Years of his Life, which, according to
his Computation, amounted to twenty three Hogf-
heads of October, four Ton of Port, Half a Kilder-
kin of small Beer, nineteen Barrels of Cider, and three
Glaffes of Champaign; befides which, he had affifted
at four hundred Bowls of Punch, not to mention
Sips, Drams, and Whets without Number.
I que-
ftion not but every Reader's Memory will fuggeft to
him several ambitious young Men, who are as vain in
this Particular as Will. Funnell, and can boast of as glo-
rious Exploits.

OUR modern Philofophers obferve, that there is a general Decay of Moisture in the Globe of the Earth. This they chiefly afcribe to the Growth of Vegetables, which incorporate into their own Subftance many fluid Bodies that never return again to their former Nature: But, with Submiffion, they ought to throw into their Account those innumerable rational Beings which fetch their Nourishment chiefly out of Liquids; especially when we confider that Men, compared with their Fellow-Creatures, drink much more than comes to their Share.

BUT however highly this Tribe of People may think of themselves, a drunken Man is a greater Monfter than any that is to be found among all the Creatures which God has made; as indeed there is no Character which appears more defpicable and deformed, in the Eyes of all reasonable Perfons, than that of a Drunkard. Bonofus, one of our own Countrymen, who was addicted to this Vice, having fet up for a Share in the Roman Empire, and being defcated in a great Battle, hang'd himself. When he was feen by the Army in this melancholy Situation, notwithstanding he had behaved himfelf very bravely, the common Jeft was, That the Thing they faw

hanging

4

hanging upon the Tree before them, was not a Man but a Bottle.

THIS Vice has very fatal Effects on the Mind, the Body, and Fortune of the Person who is devoted to it.

IN regard to the Mind, it first of all discovers every Flaw in it. The fober Man, by the Strength of Reafon, may keep under and fubdue every Vice or Folly to which he is moft inclined; but Wine makes every latent Seed sprout up in the Soul, and fhew it felf, it gives Fury to the Paffions, and Force to those Objects which are apt to produce them. When a young Fellow complained to an old Philofopher that his Wife was not handfome. Pat lefs Water in your Wine, fays the Philofopher, and you'll quickly make her fo. Wine heightens Indifference into Love, Love into Jealoufie, and Jealoufie into Madness. It often turns the Good-natured Man into an Ideot, and the Cholerick into an Affaffin. It gives Bitterness to Refentment, it makes Vanity infupportable, and difplays every little Spot of the Soul in its utmost Deformity.

NOR does this Vice only betray the hidden Faults of a Man, and fhew them in the most odious Colours, but often occafions Faults to which he is not naturally fubject. There is more of Turn than of Truth in a Saying of Seneca, That Drunkennefs does not produce but discover Faults. Common Experience teaches us the contrary. Wine throws a Man out of himself, and infufes Qualities into the Mind, which he is a Stranger to in her fober Moments. The Perfon you converse with, after the third Bottle, is not the fame Man who at firft fat down at Table with you. Upon this Maxim is founded one of the prettiest Sayings I ever met with, which is afcribed to Publius Syrus, Qui ebrium ludificat ladit abfentem; He who jefts-upon a Man that is drunk, injures the AbSent.

THUS does Drunkenness act in direct Contradiction to Reafon, whofe Bufinefs it is to clear the Mind of every Vice which is crept into it,

and to

guard

guard it against all the Approaches of any that endeavours to make its Entrance. But befides thefe ill Effects which this Vice produces in the Perfon who is actually under its Dominion, is has alfo a bad Influence on the Mind even in its fober Moments; as it infenfibly weakens the Understanding, impairs the Memory, and makes thofe Faults habitual which are produced by frequent Exceffes.

I fhould now proceed to fhew the ill Effects which this Vice has on the Bodies and Fortunes of Men; but these I shall referve for the Subject of fome fu ture Paper.

N° 570. Wednesday, July 21.

T

HERE is fcarce a Man living who is not actu ated by Ambition. When this Principle meets with an honeft Mind and great Abilities, it does infinite Service to the World; on the contrary, when a Man only thinks of diftinguishing himself, without being thus qualified for it, he becomes a very pernicious or a very ridiculous Creature. I fhall here confine my felf to that petty kind of Ambition, by which fome Men grow eminent for odd Accomplishments and trivial Performances. How many are there whose whole Reputation depends upon a Punn or a Quibble? You may often fee an Artist in the Streets gain a Circle of Admirers, by carrying a long Pole upon his Chin or Forehead in a perpendicular Pofture. Ambition has taught fome to write with their Feet, and others to walk upon their Hands. Some tumble into Fame, others grow immortal by throwing themfelves through a Hoop.

Catera

Cetera de genere hoc adeò funt multa, loquacem
Delaffare valent Fabium

-I am led into this Train of Thought by an Adventure I lately met with.

I was the other Day at a Tavern, where the Mafter of the House accommodating us himself with every thing we wanted, I accidentally fell into a Difcourfe with him; and talking of a certain great Man, who fhall be nameless, he told me, That he had fometimes the Honour to treat him with a Whistle; (adding by the way of Parenthesis) For you must know, Gentlemen, that I whistle the best of any Man in Europe. This naturally put me upon defiring him to give us a Sample of his Art; upon which he called for a CafeKnife, and applying the Edge of it to his Mouth, converted it into a mufical Inftrument, and entertained me with an Italian Solo. Upon laying down the Knife, he took up a Pair of clean Tobacco Pipes; and after having flid the fmall End of them over the Table in a moft melodious Trill, he fetched a Tune out of them, whistling to them at the fame time in Confort. In fhort, the Tobacco-Pipes became Mufical Pipes in the Hands of our Virtuofo; who confeffed to me ingenuously, he had broke fuch Quantities of them, that he had almost broke himself, before he had brought this Piece of Mufick to any tolerable Perfection. I then told him I would bring a Company of Friends to dine with him the next Week, as an Encouragement to his Ingenuity; upon which he thanked me, faying, That he would provide himself with a new Frying-Pan against that Day. I replied, That it was no Matter; Roaft and Boiled would serve our Turn. He fimiled at my Simplicity, and told me, That it was his Defign to give us a Tune upon it. As I was furprised at fuch a Promife, he fent for an old Frying-Pan and grating it upon the Board, whiftled to it in fuch a melodious Manner, that you could scarce distinguish it from a Base-Viol. He then took