us to guess at his progress. We the fire that stops her way out, the unweapresume he ate his way, page by ried goose is kept in ;* she will fall to drink page, through fish, flesh, fowl, and the water to quench her thirst, and cool vegetable ; he would have left us

her heart, and all her body, and the apple dead among the soups and gravies.

sauce will make her dung, and cleanse and Had a whole army of martyrs ac

empty her. And when she roasteth, and

consumes inwardly, always wet her head companied him on this Russian re

and heart with a wet sponge ; and when treat of the appetite, we should have you see her giddy with running, and begin found them strewing the way; and to stumble, her heart wants moisture, and him alone, the Napoleon of the task, she is roasted enough. Take her up, set living and fattening at the end of the her before your guests, and she will cry as journey. The introduction goes on you cut off any part from her, and will be very learnedly, descanting upon almost eaten up before she be dead : it is Shakspeare, Descartes, Dr. Johnson, mighty pleasant to behold!!!” See Wecker's Mrs. Glasse, Professor Bradley, Py- Secrets of Nature, in folio, London, 1660, thagoras, Miss Seward, and other pp. 148, 309. persons equally illustrious. The Doce The next chapter, or introduction, tor's chief aim is to prove, we be- (for we are not within forty spits' lieve, that cookery is the most laud- length of the cookery directions yet!) able pursuit, and the most plea- is entitled “ Invitations to Dinner; surable amusement of life. Much and commences thus: depends on the age of your domes

In “ the affairs of the mouth," the tics; for we are told, that “it is a

strictest punctuality is indispensable ;-the good maxim to select servants not gastronomer ought to be as accurate an obyounger than thirty.” Is it so?

server of time, as the astronomer. The Youth “ thou art shamed !” This first least delay produces fatal and irreparable introduction concludes with a long misfortunes. eulogy upon the Doctor's “ laborious stove work ;” and upon the spirit, is dangerous, as mammas say to their

It appearing, therefore, that delay temper, and ability, with which he daughters on certain occasions, the has dressed his book. The Doctor

Doctor directs that “ the diningappends to this introduction, a chap- room should be furnished with a goodter called “Culinary Curiosities,” in which he gives the following recipe food®-s well done, when it is done,”

going clock.” He then speaks of for “ persuading a goose to roast it- which leads to certain learned senself.” We must say it out-horrors

tences upon indigestion. The sad all the horrors we ever read of.

disregard of dinner-hours generally How to roast and eat a goose alive.- observed meets with his most serious “Take a goose, or a duck, or some such displeasure and rebuke; but to relively creature, (but a goose is best of all fuse an invitation to dinner is the cafor this purpose), pull off all her feathers, only the head and neck must be spared :

pital crime, for which there is appathen make a fire round about her, not too

rently no capital punishment. close to her, that the smoke do not choke Nothing can be more disobliging than a her, and that the fire may not burn her too

refusal which is not grounded on some very soon ; nor too far off, that she may not es- strong and unavoidable cause, except not cape free; within the circle of the fire let coming at the appointed hour; according to there be set small cups and pots full of the laws of conviviality, a certificate from water, wherein salt and boney are mingled; a sheriff's officer, a doctor, or an underand let there be set also chargers full of taker, are the only pleas which are admis. sodden apples, cut into small pieces in the sible. The duties which invitation imposes, dish. The goose must be all larded, and do not fall only on the persons invited, but basted over with butter, to make her the like all other social duties, are reciprocal. more fit to be eaten, and may roast the better: put then fire about her, but do not

If you should, therefore, fortunately make too much haste, when as you see her happen to be arrested, or have had the begin to roast ; for by walking about, and good luck to fracture a limb); or if, flying here and there, being cooped in by better than all, you should have taken

• This cook of a goose, or goose of a cook, which ever it may be, strangely reminds us of the Doctor's own intense and enthusiastic bustle among the butter-boats. Wc fancy we see him, and not the goose, “ walking about, and flying here and there, being cooped in by the fire." By this time, we should suppose, he must be about “ roasted enough."

a box in that awful theatre at which following, to be sure, is a little susall must be present once and for picious. « Enter into all their plans ever; you may be pardoned refusing of economy, and endeavour to make the invitation of some tiresome friend the most of every thing, as well for to take a chop: but there is no other your own honour as your master's excuse, no other available excuse, profit." This, without the note, would for absenting yourself; no mental be unexceptionable ; but the Doctor inaptitude will save you. Late quotes from Dr. Trusler (all the Doccomers are thus rebuked:

tors are redolent of servants !) as There are some, who seldom keep an ap

follows:-" I am persuaded, that no pointment ;-we can assure them they as

servant ever saved her master sixa seldom “ 'scape without whipping”_and pence, but she found it in the end in exciting those murmurs which inevitably her own pocket.- Have the dust proceed from the best regulated stomachs, removed," says Dr. Kitchener, “re-when they are empty and impatient to be gularly every fortnight!" - What filled.

dust ? -Not that, we trust, which Carving is the next subject of the people are often entreated to come Doctor's care; but he resolutely, and of soot has its dire evils ; for "

down with.” -- The accumulation somewhat vehemently, protests a

many gainst your wielding the king of good dinners have been spoiled, and Knives at any other table than your soot falling:”-thus the Doctor, very

many houses burned down, by the thor from the luxuries of table anato- properly, puts the greater evil first. my. After giving an erudite passage when the contents of your coa!

“ Give notice to your employers from the “ Almanach des Gourmands," the Doctor wanders into anecdote, Diminished ! We should be glad

cellar are diminished to a chaldron." and becomes facetious after the follow- to hear when our cellars had increased ing recipe.

to this stock. There is no hope then for I once heard a gentle hint on this sub- those chamber-gentlemen who fritter ject given to a blue-mould fancier, who, by away their lives by sack or bushel ! looking too long at a Stilton cheese, was at Dr. Kitchener is rather abstruse and last completely overcome by his eye excit- particular in another of his direcing his appetite, till it became quite ungo- tions :-" The best rule for marketing, vernable and unconscious of every thing is to pay ready money for every but the mity object of his contemplation ; he began to pick out in no small portions, thing." This is a good rule with the the primest parts his eye could select from elect:-but, is there no luxury in a the centre of the cheese.

baker's bill? Are butchers' reckonThe good-natured founder of the feast, ings nothing ? Is there no virtue in highly amused at the ecstacies each morsel a milk-tally? We cannot help thinkcreated in its passage over the palate of the ing that tick was a great invention, enraptured Gourmand, thus encouraged the and gives many a man a dinner that perseverance of his guest—“ Cut away, my would otherwise go unfed. dear sir, cut away, use no ceremony, I

The chapter on weights and mea. pray :--I hope you will pick out all the

sures is short, but deeply interesting best of my cheese—the rind and the rotten will do very well for my wife and family!!” and intense. There is an episode

upon trough nutmeg-graters that There is something so serene and would do the water-gruel generation simple in the above little story, that good to hear. we recommend it to persons after And now the book begins to boil. dinner, in preference to those highly The reader is told that meat takes seasoned and spicy jests, which Mr. twenty minutes to the pound; and Joseph Miller has potted for the use that block-tin saucepans are the best. of posterity.

We can fish out little else, except a The next introduction contains long and rather skilful calculation of Friendly Advice to Cooks and other the manner in which meat jockeys Servants;" but we cannot help think- itself, and reduces its weight in the ing that Dr. Swift has in some degree cooking. Buckle and Sam Chiffney forestalled our own good Doctor in are nothing to “a leg of mutton with this department of literature; al- the shank bone taken out;” and it though, perhaps, Dr. Kitchener is perhaps might not be amiss if the the most sober of counsellors. The Newmarket profession were to conDoctor says

sider how far it would be practicable then make it warm and wipe it out with a to substitute the cauldron for the clean cloth. blanket, and thus reduce by steam. Broiling follows. We really begin We should suppose a young gentle- to be enacting this sort of cookery man, with half an hour's boiling, ourselves, from the vigour and spirit would ride somewhere about feather with which we have rushed along weight.

in the company of Dr. Kitchener. Baking is dismissed in a page and Broiling is the poetry of cooking, a half.

We are sorry to find that The lyre-like shape of the instrument some joints, when fallen into poverty on which it is performed, and the and decay, are quite unworthy of brisk and pleasant sounds that arise credit: “ When baking a joint of momentarily, are rather musical poor meat, before it has been half than culinary. We are transported baked, I have seen it (what?) start at the thought to that golden gridiron from the bone, and shrivel up scarcely in the beef-steak club, which seems to be believed.

to confine the white cook in his burnRoasting is the next object of Dr. ing cage, which generates wit, whim, Kitchener's anxious care; and if this and song, for hours together, and chapter be generally read, we shall pleasantly blends the fanciful and not be surprised to see people in fu- the substantial in one laughing and ture roasting their meat before their robust harmony. doors, and in their areas; for the The Doctor is profound on the sub

ject of vegetables. And when we

consider the importance of it, we are Roasting should be done in the open air, not surprised to hear him earnestly to ventilate the meat from its own fumes, exclaim, “ I should as soon think of and by the radiant heat, of a clear glowing roasting an animal alive, as of boiling fire, otherwise it is in fact baked - the machines the economical grate-makers call

a vegetable after it is dead.No one roasters, are in plain English, ovens.

will question that the one is quite as

pardonable as the other. Our readers The Doctor then proceeds, not be- cannot be too particular in looking ing content with telling you how to to their brocoli and potatoes. cook your victuals, to advise carefully as to the best method of cook

This branch of cookery, requires the ing the fire. « The fire that is but

most vigilant attention. just sufficient to receive the noble long over the fire-they lose all their beau

If vegetables are a minute or two too sirloin, will parch up a lighter joint ;"

ty and flavour. which is plainly a translation into the

If not thoroughly boiled tender, they are cook's own particular language of tremendously indigestible, and much more “temper the wind to the shorn lamb." troublesome during their residence in the The chapter does not conclude with- stomach, than under-done meats. out observing that “ every body knows the advantage of slow boiling dressing fish, and of compounding

We pass over the rudiments of -slow roasting is equally important.' This is an axiom.

broths and soups, except with re

marking, that a turbot is said to be species of cooking, though yielding better for not being fresh, and that species of cooking, though yielding “ lean juicy beef, mutton, or veal, broiling—but of this more anon. We form the basis of broth.

Gravies and sauces are not neglectare sorry to find the Doctor endea

ed. The Doctor writesvouring to take away from the origin-. ality of frying, classing it unkindly However “les pompeuses Bagatelles de with the inferior sorts of boiling- la Cuisine Masquée" may tickle the fancy calling it, in fact, the mere corpulence of demi-connoisseurs, who leaving the subof boiling

stance, to pursue the shadow,- prefer won

derful and whimsical metamorphoses, and A fryingpan should be about four things extravagantly expensive to those inches deep, with a perfectly flat and thick which are intrinsically excellent,-in whose bottom, twelve inches long, and nine broad mouth-mutton can hardly hope for a wel. - with perpendicular sides, and must be come, unless accompanied by Venison half filled with fat : good frying is in fact sauce or a rabbit any chance for a race,

- boiling in fat. To make sure that the pan down the red lane, without assuming the is quite clean, rub a litde fat over it and form of a frog or a spider ;-or pork, with.


out being either “goosified,” or “ lambi. The Doctor himself, however, in fied,” and game and poultry in the shape spite of his correction of the cooks, is of crawfish or hedgehogs ;, These travesties rather show the patience When you have opened a bottle of

not entirely free from the fanciful. than the science of the cook,--and the bad taste of those who prefer such baby tricks

catsup, he

says, use only the best to old English nourishing and substantial superfine velvet taper corks." This plain cookery.

is drawing a cork with the hand of a We could have made this the biggest poet. book with half the trouble it has taken me And now, will the reader believe to make it the best;-concentration and it ? the work commences afresh! perspicuity have been my aim.

After all our labour,-after all our We do not know what the Doctor travelling through boiling, broiling, understands as "a big book ;” but roasting, &c. we find that we have to our notions (and we are experi- the whole to go over again. To our enced in the weights and measures

utter dismay, page 142 begins anew of printed works), the Cook's Oracle with-boiling! It is little comfort to is a tolerably huge and Gog-like


us that the joints and cuttings come duction. We should have been glad in for their distinct treatment: we to have had a calculation of what the

seem to have made no way; and sit MS. lost in the printing. In truth, a

down with as much despair as a comparative scale of the wasting of young school-girl who, after three meat and prose during the cooking, quarters of a year's dancing, is put would be no uninteresting perform- back to the Scotch step: Beef has

For our parts, we can only been spoken of before ; but we have remark, from experience, that these not at all made up our minds on our articles in the London Magazine the following subject : boil up like spinage. We fancy, Obs.-In Mrs. Mason's Ladies' Assistant when written, that we have a heap this joint is called haunch-bone ; in Henof leaves fit to feed thirty columns; derson's Cookery, edge-bone ; in Domestic and they absolutely and alarmingly Management, aitch-bone ; in Reynolds' shrink up to a' page or two when Cookery, ische - bone ; in Mrs. Lydia dressed by the compositor.

Fisher's Prudent Housewife, ach-bone; in The romantic fancy of cooks is thus Mrs. M'Iver's Cookery, hook-bone. We restrained:

have also seen it spelt each-bone, and ridge

bone, and we have also heard it called The imagination of most cooks, is so in- natch-bone, cessantly on the hunt for a relish,—that they seem to think, they can not make

Of “ balf a calf's-head,” Dr. Kitsauce sufficiently savoury, without putting chener says, slily enough, into it, every thing that ever was eaten ;

like it full-dressed, score it superficie and supposing every addition must be an ally; beat up the yolk of an egg, improvement, they frequently overpower

and rub it over the head with a feathe natural flavour of their plain sauces, by ther; powder it,&c. Such a calf'soverloading thein with salt and spices, &c. : head as this, so full-dressed, might -- but, remember, these will be deteriorated be company for the best nobleman's by any addition, save only just salt enough ditto in the land. to awaken the palate—the lover of “ pi.

It is quite impossible for us to acquance," and compound flavours, may have

company Dr. Kitchener regularly recourse to “ the Magazine of Taste."

through “ roasting, frying, vegeAgain

tables,” &c. as we are by no means, Why have clove and allspice,

sure that our readers would sanction and nutmeg in the same sauce,—or marjo. the encore. We shall pick a bit here ram,—thyme,-and savory ;--or onions, and a bit there, from the Doctor's leeks,-eshallots—and garlick: one will dainty larder; and take care to very well supply the place of the other, - choose, as the English do with a and the frugal cook may save something French bill of fare, from those niceconsiderable by attending to this, to the ties which are novelties. advantage of her employers, and her own time and trouble. You might as well, to

A pig,” observes the Doctor, as make soup, order one quart of water from though he were speaking of any the Thames, another from the New River, other dull obstinate personage, a third from Hampstead, and a fourth from a very troublesome subject to roast. Chelsea, with a certain portion of spring. Most persons have them baked; send and rain water.

a quarter of a pound of butter, and

- If you

or mace


beg the baker to baste it well.” The to be thus surprised, to be thus
following occurs to us to be as diffi- pleasingly ejected from its tene-
cult a direction to fulfil as any of ment of mother of pearl,- to be
Sir Thomas Parkins's wrestling in- thus tickled to death? When we
structions: Lay your pig back to are placed in our shell, we should
back in the dish, with one half of the have no objection to be astonished
head on each side, and the ears one with a similar delicate and titillating
at each end, which you must take opening !
care to make nice and crisp, or you Giblet soup requires to be eaten
will get scolded, as the good man with the fingers.

We were not
was who bought his wife a pig with aware that these handy instruments
one ear.” The point at the end is like could be used successfully in the de-
the point of a spit. Again: “A vouring of gravies and soups.
sucking pig, like a young child, must

N. B. This is rather a family dish than not be left for an instant !” Never

a company one,--the bones cannot be well was such affection manifested before picked, without the help of alive pincers. for this little interesting and perse- Since Tom Coryat introduced forks, cuted tribe.

A. D. 1642, it has not been the fashion to If Isaac Walton be the greatest of put “pickers and stealers ” into soup. writers on the catching of fish, Dr. After giving a most elaborate reKitchener is, beyond doubt, tri- cipe for mock turtle soup, he

proumphant over all who have written ceedsupon the dressing of them. The

This soup was eaten by the committee of Doctor dwells upon “ the fine pale taste with unanimous applause, and they red rose colour” of pickled salmon, pronounced it a very satisfactory substitute till you

doubt whether he is not ad- for “ the far fetcht and dear bought " miring a carnation. " Cod's skull turtle; which itself is indebted for its title becomes flowery and attractive; and of “ sovereign of savouriness,” to the rich fine “ silver eels,” when“ stewed soup with which it is surrounded; without Wiggy's way,” swim in beauty as

its paraphernalia of double relishes, a well as butter. The Doctor points

" starved turtle," has not more intrinsic out the best method of killing this

FATTED CALF.". sapidity than a

And a little further on he observesperversely living fish, observing, very justly, “ that the humane exe- Obs.—This is a delicious soup, within cutioner does certain criminals the the reach of those who “ eat to live;" but favour to hang them, before he breaks if it had been coinposed cxpressly for them on the wheel.”

those who only “ live to eat,” I do not Of salmon, the Doctor rather know how it could have been made more quaintly and pozingly observes, - ing will - wish his throat a mile long, and

agreeable: as it is, the lover of good eat“the thinnest part of the fish is the


inch of it palate.” fattest.If you have any left, put it into a pye-dish, and cover it,” &c.:

Our readers will pant to have the direction is conditional we per- voiled tripe, calf-head, or cow-heel.”

“ Mir. Michael Kelly's sauce for ceive. Remember to choose your it is this: lobsters “ heavy and lively.tion,” says the Doctor, " is the in

Garlick vinegar, a tablespoonful,-of dex of their freshness.”

mustard, brown sugar, and black pepper, a Upon oysters, Dr. Kitchener is teaspoonful eaclı; stirred into half a pint

oi oiled melted butter. eloquent indeed. He is, as it were, native here, and to the manner Gad'a mercy, what a gullet must be born."

in the possession of Mr. Michael The true lover of an oyster, will have

Kelly! some regard for the feelings of his little

We think the following almost a favourite, and will never abandon it to the superfluous direction to cooks :mercy of a bungling operator, --but will “ Take your chops out of the fryingopen it himself, and contrive to detach the pan," p. 324; but then he tells you, fish from the shell so dexterously, that the in another place, “ to put your oyster is hardly conscious he has been tongue into plenty of cold water; ejected from his lodging, till he feels the p. 156. which makes all even again. teeth of the piscivorous gourmand tickling

After giving ample directions for him to death.

the making of essence of anchovy, Who would not be an oyster, the Doctor rather damps our ardour

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