JEMMY TWITCHER:

OR, THE CAMBRIDGE COURTSHIP.

[On the death of Lord Chancellor Hardwicke, on the 16th of May 1764, the office of Seneschal of the University of Cambridge was vacated. The candidates for the office were his son, Philip Hardwicke, who was with difficulty elected, and the notorious John, Earl of Sandwich, the object of Gray's lifelong abhorrence. Accordingly the poet wrote this squib, which was not without its instant and practical effect, for Lord Sandwich attempted to win the poet over to his side, but without avail, and Cradock reports that he said to him of Gray, "I have my private reasons for knowing his absolute inveteracy."-Ed.] WHEN sly Jemmy Twitcher had smugg'd up his face, With a lick of court white-wash, and pious grimace, A wooing he went, where three sisters of old In harmless society guttle and scold.

"Lord! sister," says PHYSIC to LAW, "I declare, Such a sheep-biting look, such a pick-pocket air! Not I for the Indies !-You know I'm no prude,But his nose is a shame,—and his eyes are so lewd! Then he shambles and straddles so oddly-I fear— No-at our time of life 'twould be silly, my dear." "I don't know," says LAW, "but methinks for his look,

'Tis just like the picture in Rochester's book;
Then his character, Phyzzy,-his morals-his life-
When she died, I can't tell,—but he once had a wife ;—
They say he's no Christian, loves drinking and whoring,
And all the town rings of his swearing and roaring!
And filching and lying, and Newgate-bird tricks ;—
Not I-for a coronet, chariot and six.”

DIVINITY heard, between waking and dozing, Her sisters denying, and Jemmy proposing: From table she rose, and with bumper in hand, She strok'd up her belly, and strok'd down her band— "What a pother is here about wenching and roaring! Why, David lov'd catches, and Solomon whoring: Did not Israel filch from the Egyptians of old Their jewels of silver and jewels of gold? The prophet of Bethel, we read, told a lie : He drinks-so did Noah ;-he swears-so do I: To reject him for such peccadillos, were odd; Besides, he repents-for he talks about God[To Jemmy]

Never hang down your head, you poor penitent elf, Come buss me I'll be Mrs. Twitcher myself."

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[The concluding couplet is too gross to give.—Mit.]

SHAKESPEARE VERSES.

[These lines were sent from Hartlepool on the 16th of July 1765 to William Mason. They have never before been included in Gray's Works.—ED.]

WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE to MRS. ANNE, Regular
Servant to the REV. MR. PRECENTOR of York.

A MOMENT'S patience, gentle Mistress Anne:
(But stint your clack for sweet St. Charitie)
'Tis Willy begs, once a right proper man,

Though now a book, and interleaved you see.

Much have I borne from canker'd critic's spite,
From fumbling baronets and poets small,
Pert barristers, and parsons nothing bright,
But what awaits me now is worst of all.

"Tis true, our master's temper natural

Was fashion'd fair in meek and dove-like guise; But may not honey's self be turn'd to gall By residence, by marriage, and sore eyes?

If then he wreak on me his wicked will,

Steal to his closet at the hour of prayer; And (when thou hear'st the organ piping shrill) Grease his best pen, and all his scribbles, tear.

Better to bottom tarts and cheesecakes nice,
Better the roast meat from the fire to save,
Better be twisted into caps for spice,

Than thus be patch'd and cobbled in one's

grave.

So York shall taste what Clouet never knew,
So from our works sublimer fumes shall rise;
While Nancy earns the praise to Shakespeare due,
For glorious puddings and immortal pies.

SATIRE

UPON THE HEADS; OR, NEVER A BARREL THE

BETTER HERRING.

[This is now printed for the first time from the original MS. in Gray's handwriting, in the possession of Lord Houghton. It was probably written about 1765.-ED.]

O CAMBRIDGE, attend

To the Satire I've pen'd
On the Heads of thy Houses,
Thou Seat of the Muses!

Know the Master of Jesus
Does hugely displease us;
The Master of Maudlin
In the same dirt is dawdling;
The Master of Sidney
Is of the same kidney;
The Master of Trinity
To him bears affinity;
As the Master of Keys
Is as like as two pease,
So the Master of Queen's
Is as like as two beans;
The Master of King's
Copies them in all things;

The Master of Catherine

Takes them all for his pattern ;

The Master of Clare

Hits them all to a hair;

The Master of Christ

By the rest is enticed;

But the Master of Emmanuel
Follows them like a spaniel;

The Master of Benet

Is of the like tenet;

The Master of Pembroke

Has from them his system took;

The Master of Peter's

Has all the same features;

The Master of St. John's

Like the rest of the Dons.

P.S.-As to Trinity Hall

We say nothing at all.

IMPROMPTU,

SUGGESTED BY A VIEW, IN 1766, OF THE SEAT AND

RUINS OF A DECEASED NOBLEMAN, AT KINGSGATE,
KENT.

[In June 1766, after Gray had been spending two months with "Reverend Billy," the Rev. William Robinson, at his rectory of Denton, in Kent, these verses were found in a drawer of the room he had occupied. The first four stanzas were printed in the supplement to the Gentleman's Magazine for 1777. The two last stanzas were added incorrectly in the same periodical for February 1778, and the text finally corrected in February 1782. The house was that built for Lord Holland in imitation of Cicero's Formian villa at Baiæ, by Lord Newborough. The variations in the notes are taken from a copy in Wharton's handwriting now at the British Museum.

OLD, and abandon'd by each venal friend,
Here Holland form'd1 the pious resolution
1 Form'd] Took.-MS.