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round his phiz, and fairly kissed him! The time, the place, the parties, not to mention Jean's mouth, which was none of the most tempting, were almost too much for the composure of Mr. F., who was at all times a grave man.

Mr. W-, formerly minister of Echt, was often obliged to employ assistants during the latter years of his life. One of these was rather vain of his qualifications as a preacher, but affected to be quite embarrassed by any compliments, which he received on that score. Mr. W, after the sermon, went up to the probationer, and was going to shake hands with him. The young man anticipating nothing short of some high-flown compliment, exclaimed, "My good sir, no complimentsno compliments!" "Na, na," replied the parson, "now-a-days I'm glad o' ony body!"

THE Rev. Mr. Forbes, formerly one of the ministers of Aberdeen, was equally celebrated for the purity of his doctrine, the integrity of his life, and a Nathaniel-like simplicity of character, which endeared him to all who knew him. He was one of those few who let not their left hand know what their right doeth. His better half was a not

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"To thrift and parsimony much inclined,"

and considered that her spouse "dealt with too

slack a hand," in his almsgiving; in short, she had a "saving knowledge." Mr. F. was a studious and rather absent man. One day, his lady having occasion to go abroad, locked the minister in ; during her absence a beggar came to the door; Mr. F. finding it locked, took up a large loaf and handed it out at the window to the grateful mendicant. Mrs. F. on her return made a sad fuss about the loaf, marvelling greatly at its disappearance, and charged the minister with having made away with it. Mr. F. mildly observed, "My dear, what is kept in at the door, sometimes goes out at the window."

TIMMER TO TIMMER.-A reverend gentleman in the presbytery of A—, who has the misfortune to require crutches, assisting at the ordination of one whom he not unjustly regarded as a lame brother, when the “laying on of hands" was being performed, instead of coming forward from his seat, which was rather distant from the noviciate, and laying on his hand, deputed his staff to perform that important office. One of his brethren remonstrating with him on such an indecorous departure from the usual ceremonial, he coolly observed, "There is naething like timmer to timmer."

A DEAD HIT.-A gentleman who holds a responsible situation in a banking establishment in

our "guid town," was travelling in one of our northern stages along with a respectable housebuilder of "that ilk." The builder, although a plain man, and not disposed to say a great deal, nevertheless attempted a shaving of the banker, and, looking as mysteriously piercing as an augur, observed that such and such a banker in the North was dead, with a screwing of the mouth, which plainly said, “I suppose you are looking after his place." The banker was not so green as the man of jeests; according to current account, he replied "Well, sir, I hope you have got his coffin to make."

THE late Rev. Mr. G-d-n, formerly minister of Banff, used to let part of his glebe in grass to some persons who kept cows in the neighbourhood. One honest 'oman happened to march (not in the intellect way) with a field of grass which the worthy divine kept in his own hands, to his no small annoyance, as the said honest 'oman appeared to have rather indistinct notions of the relations of meum and tuum, often allowing her cows to sorn on his grass. The minister frequently remonstrated, when obedience was readily promised by the guidwife, but performed only while he was in sight. Finding the cows, one day, as usual, at free quarters in his grass, he says to the 'oman, "You must keep your

cows off my grass."

"Ou aye, sir," was the reply,

followed up by instant obedience. Coming soon

after, he found the cows as they were, whereupon the minister says, "If you don't keep your cows off my grass, I'll prosecute you." Next time, finding even this threat in vain, he says, "I'll give you five shillings, if you'll keep your cows off my grass." "Troth, sir," replied the honest 'oman, "I wadna de't for twenty!"

AN ACCOMMODATING SERVANT.-A boy who had been some time in the employment of W——r and Y was informed by their clerk that he could be no longer retained in their employment, as there was no work for him. "O!" said the loun, "lat's only stay, an' we sanna cast oot about the wark!"

"SINE DIE."-A certain Dr. S-0— very popular with the old ladies as a preacher, was before his fathers and brethren of the Presbytery, on a charge of being in a certain house, on a certain morning, and there conducting himself in a manner unbecoming the character of a clergyman and a gentleman. Around the kirk door an eager crowd of gossips waited to learn their favourite's fate. "What have they done?" "Oh," said the first bringer of the unwelcome news, "heard ye ever the like o't, they've suspen'it him till they see in he dee!"

SONNETS.

THE PLANET VENUS.

Bright star thy name is Beauty, justly thine,
Daughter of Morning and of Evening, thou
Dost wear a lasting radiance on thy brow,
And, 'mong thy sisters that around thee shine
In softest glory, thou art queen divine!
Beautiful! canst thou tell me whence we trace
That more than earthly brightness on thy face?
Art thou that distant speck which thou dost seem,
A thing of light to deck our evening sky,
Thou, with the myriads of thy shining train,
That wing, with thee, their course in harmony?
Or art thou what our hoary sages deem,—

A world, perchance inhabited by men

Even like ourselves, who now would scan thee but in vain ?

MOONLIGHT.

Oh! how delightful 'tis to gaze on thee,
Transcendent empress of the starry night,
Thou mildest, softest, loveliest, heavenly light,
Shining and sailing in chaste majesty !

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