And hard he had fared, But the people were scared By what the Interpreter roundly declared: "You ignorant Turks! You will be your own Burkes He holds all the keys of the lunary works! "You'd best let him go If you keep him below, The Moon will not change, and the tides will not flow; He left her at full, And with such a long pull, Zounds! ev'ry man Jack will run mad like a bull!" So awful a threat Took effect on the set; The fright, tho', was more than their Guest could forget; So taking a jump, In the car he came plump, And threw all the ballast right out in a lump. Up soar'd the machine, With its yellow and green; But still the pale face of the Creature was seen, "Dam in yooman bi gar!" That is,-"What a sad set of villains you are!" Howbeit, at some height, He threw down quite a flight Of Almanacks, wishing to set us all right— And, thanks to the boon, We shall see very soon If Murphy knows most, or the Man in the Moon ! A ROW AT THF OXFORD ARMS. Glorious Apollo, from on high behold us."-OLD SONG S latterly I chanced to pass A Public House, from which, alas! The Arms of Oxford dangle! That made me tremble in my skin, Voices loud, and voices high, To scare the British border; When foes from North and South of Tweed- Met in hate to fight and bleed, Upsetting Social Order. Surprised, I turn'd me to the crowd, First shook his head on Burleigh's plan, And then, with fluent tongue, began His version of the riot : A row!-why yes, -a pretty row, you might hear from this to And what is worse, it's all got up among the Sons of Harmony, But Dick's resign'd the post, you see, and all them shouts and hollers Is 'cause two other candidates, some sort of larned scholars, Lord knows their names, I'm sure I don't, no more than any yokel, But I never heard of either as connected with the vocal; Nay, some do say, although of course the public rumour varies, If pop'lar, it gets printed off at once in Seven Dials, And then about all sorts of streets, by every little monkey, It's chanted like the "Dog's Meat Man," or "If I had à Don key." Whereas, as Mr. Catnach says, and not a bad judge neither, No ballad-worth a ha'penny-has ever come from either, And him as writ "Jim Crow," he says, and got such lots of dollars, Would make a better Chairman for the Glorious Apollers. Howsomever that's the meaning of the squabble that arouses, This neighbourhood, and quite disturbs all decent Heads of Who want to have their dinners and their parties, as is reason You can hardly find a Parson to get buried or get married; If you're dying for a surgeon, you must fetch him from the To write about a Chairman for the Glorious Apollers. Well, that, sir, is the racket; and the more the sin and shame Of them that help to stir it up, and propagate the same; But they'll be the House's ruin, or the shutting of it up, Not to name the ugly language Gemmen oughtn't to repeat, And the names they call each other-for I've heard 'em in the street Such as Traitors, Guys, and Judases, and Vipers, and what not, For Pasley and his divers ain't so blowing-up a lot. And then such awful swearing!-for there's one of them that cusses Enough to shock the cads that hang on opposition 'busses; To be sure it is a pity to be blowing such a squall, Instead of clouds, and every man his song, and then his call- For to furnish them in plenty who are fond of picking crows- And which all may be agreeable and proper to their spheres,— And as to College larning, my opinion for to broach, Or other Tavern Melodists I can't just call to mind— For my part in the matter, if so be I had a voice, It's the best among the vocalists I'd honour with the choice; Have brought their jangling voices, as far as they can com pass, Have turn'd a tavern shindy to a seriouser rumpus, And him as knows most hymns-altho' I can't see how it follersThey want to be the Chairman of the Glorious Apollers! Well, that's the row-and who can guess the upshot after all? Whether Harmony will ever make the "Arms" her House of call, Or whether this here mobbing-as some longish heads foretel it, Or a Member of the Vocals, to get backers for my plan, |