Artemus Ward, His Book: With Many Comic Illustrations

Forside
Carleton, 1862 - 262 sider
 

Utvalgte sider

Andre utgaver - Vis alle

Vanlige uttrykk og setninger

Populære avsnitt

Side 45 - States which sez in effeck that everybody may think just as he darn pleazes, & them is my sentiments to a hare. You dowtlis beleeve this Sperret doctrin while I think it is a little mixt. Just so soon as a man becums a reglar out & out Sperret rapper he leeves orf workin, lets his hare grow all over his fase & commensis spungin his livin out of other peple. He eats all the dickshunaries he can find & goze round chock full of big words, scarein the wimmin folks & little children & destroyin the piece...
Side 71 - so that you could see some of my feelins. There's fire enuff in here," sed I, strikin my buzzum with my fist, "to bile all the corn beef and turnips in the naberhood. Versoovius and the Critter ain'ta circumstans!" She bowd her hed down and commenst chawin the strings to her sun bonnet.
Side 101 - Not a Seal !" sez I, startin back in horror at the idee. " Oh stay, Sir, stay," sed a tall, gawnt femaile, ore whoos hed 37 summirs must hev parsd, " stay, & I'll be your Jentle Gazelle." " Not ef I know it, you won't," sez I. " Awa you skanderlus femaile, awa ! Go & be a Nunnery !" That's what I sed, jes so.
Side 154 - The time hevin arove fur me to take my departer I rose up & sed : " Albert Edard, I must go, but previs to doin so I will obsarve that you soot me. Yure a good feller Albert Edard, & tho I'm agin Princes as a gineral thing, I must say I like the cut of your Gib. When you git to be King try and be...
Side 28 - Wall, my pretty dears," sez I, "let's hav sum fun. Let's play Puss in the corner. What say?" "Air you a Shaker, sir?" they axed. "Wall, my pretty dears...
Side 205 - she cried, and rushed into my arms. It was too much for her & she fell into a swoon. I cum very near swoundin myself. No more to-day from yours for the Pepetration of the Union, and the bringin of the Goddess of Liberty out of her present bad fix.
Side 43 - Erth, continnered the speaker, resolves round on its own axeltree onct in 24 hours, but as man haint gut no axeltree he cant resolve. He sed the ethereal essunce of the koordinate branchis of superhuman natur becum metty-morfussed as man progrest in harmonial coexistunce & eventooally anty humanized theirselves & turned into reglar sperretuellers.
Side 152 - Duz the old man take his Lager beer reglar?" I inquired. The Prince larfed, & intermatid that the old man didn't let many kegs of that bevridge spile in the sellar in the coarse of a year. We sot & tawked there sum time abowt matters & things, & bimeby I axed him how he liked bein' Prince, as fur as he'd got. "To speak plain, Mister Ward," he sed, "I don't much like it.
Side 29 - I was a man of sin, he went groanin away. As I was goin threw the entry to the room where the vittles was, I cum across the Elder and the old female I'd met the night before, and what d'ye spose they was up to? Huggin and kissin like young lovers in their gushingist state. Sez I, "My Shaker frends, I reckon you'd better suspend the rules and git married." "You must excoos Brother Uriah," sed the female; "he's subjeck to fits and hain't got no command over hisself when he's into 'em.

Bibliografisk informasjon