top to bottom with red paint, he called to his lordship and told him the work was done.-Done! quoth the peer. What's done? Where are the Children of Is rael? My lord, they are gone over, replied the painter. But, zounds! where are the Egyptians the The Egyptians, my lord?—why they are drowned to be sure!

THE ART OF PUNNING BY RULE.

By rule ?" Yes-thus. A man says, " Mr. Locke was a great metaphysician." "Oh Lord!' say you, that's nothing at all—I met a physician myself yes "terday.' The next rule is to lay a trap for a pun, by a previous question. Say 'do you think the dinner is ready?' "I really don't know," says one of the company, "I am going to see." "Oh, to sea, are you!' say you, I wish you a good voyage.'-Or the

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say you'what do you think of this business of the Empress and the Turks?" "Think!" says one, "why that the Empress will play the very devil with them. Why, sir, in another twelvemonth there will be no Turkey in Europe." Upon my word,' say you, "I am sorry for that-it is a very charming dish, espec ially with a pudding in its belly.' Thus when you have learned to pun with facility, you may do what you please. One says "Come pun away." Away! say you I had better pun here had not I? "Igad," says another, "he is in for it, stop him who can.' Nay,' say you, what should they stop me for? I have stolen nothing.' "Well, upon my word," says the first, that is beyond every thing." Oh,' say you, if that is the case, you know I can go no farther,' S much for punning. Dibdin's Musical Tour.

Phillips's Splendid Shilling. A Medicine for the Ladies. Lord Chesterfield's Advice to Lady Fanny Shirely. The Cookmaid Mary's Letter to Dr. Sheridan. Cowper's facetious History of John Gilpin. A Receipt to make a Love Letter. The Seeker, by Matth. Green.

PRINTED BY G. NICHOLSON AND CO.

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1

HARVARD COLLEGE LIBRARY W

GIFT OF

EDWARD PERCIVAL MERRITT

MAY 21, 1928

Happy the man, who, void of cares and strife,
In silken or in leathern purse retains

A Splendid Shilling. He nor hears with pain
New oysters cry'd, nor sighs for cheerful ale:
But with his friends, when nightly mists arise,
To Juniper's Magpye, or Town Hall repairs;
Where, mindful of the nymph, whose wanton eye
ransfix'd his soul, and kindled amorous flames,
hloe, or Phillis, he each circling glass
Visheth her health, and joy, and equal love.
(eanwhile he smoaks, and laughs at merry tale,
pun ambiguous, or conundrum quaint.
at 1, whom griping penury surrounds,
nd hunger sure attendant upon want,
Vith scanty offals, and small acid tiff,
Wretched repast!) my meagre corse sustain:
hen solitary walk, or doze at home
1 garret vile, and with a warming puff
egale chill'd fingers; or, from tube as black
s winter chimney, or well-polish'd jet,
xhale Mundungus, ill-perfuming scent;
ot blacker tube, nor of a shorter size,
noaks Cambro-Britain (vers'd in pedigree,
prung from Cadwallader and Arthur, kings
all famous in romantic tale) when he
Per many a craggy hill, and barren cliff,
on a cargo of fam'd Cestrian cheese,
gh over-shadowing rides, with a design;
o vend his wares, or at th' Arvonian mart,
r Maridunum, or the ancient town

clep'd Brechinia; or where Vaga's stream

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"'Till morn sends stagg'ring home a drunken beast, "Resolv'd to break my heart, as well as rest." [spouse! Hey! Hoop! d'ye hear, my dam'd obstrep'rous "What, can't you find one bed about the house? "Will that perpetual clack lie never still? "That rival to the softness of a mill!"

Some couch and distant room must be my choice, Where I may sleep uncurs'd with wife and noise. Long this uncomfortable life they led, With snarling meals, and each a separate bed. To an old uncle oft' she would complain, Beg his advice, and scarce from tears refrain. Old Wisewood smok'd the matter as it was, "Cheer up!" cry'd he, "and I'll remove the cause." "A wond'rous spring within my garden flows, "Of sov❜reign virtue, chiefly to compose "Domestic jars, and matrimonial strife, "The best elixir t' appease man and wife; Strange are th' effects, the qualities divine, 'Tis water call'd; but worth its weight in wine. "If, in his sullen airs, Sir John should come, [mum "Three spoonfuls take, hold in your mouth-then "Smile, and look pleas'd, when he shall rage & scold, "Still in your mouth the healing cordial hold; "One month this sympathetic medicine try'd, "He'll grow a lover, you a happy bride. "But, dearest niece, keep this grand secret close, "Or ev'ry pratt'ling hussey 'll beg a dose."

A water-bottle's brought for her relief;

Not Nants could sooner case the lady's grief:
Her busy thoughts are on the trial bent,

And, feinale-like, impatient for th' event.

The bonny knight reels home, exceeding clear, Prepar'd for clamour, and domestic war.

Entering, he cries-"Hey! where 's our thunder "No hurricane? Betty's your lady dead?" [fled? Madam. aside, an ample mouthful takes,

Curt'sies, looks kind, but not a word she speaks.