SCENE I. AN APARTMENT IN THE DUKE'S PALACE. Enter Duke, Curio, Lords; Musicians attending. O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou! Even in a minute! so full of shapes is fancy, Cur. Will you go hunt, my lord? Cur. The hart. Duke. Why, so I do, the noblest that I have: O, when mine eyes did see Olivia first, Methought, she purg'd the air of pestilence; That instant was I turn'd into a hart; And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, E'er since pursue me.-How now? what news from her? Enter Valentine. Val. So please my lord, I might not be admitted, But from her handmaid do return this answer: The element itself, till seven years heat, Shall not behold her face at ample view; But, like a cloistress, she will veiled walk, And water once a-day her chamber round With eye-offending brine; all this to season A brother's dead love, which she would keep fresh, And lasting, in her sad remembrance. That live in her! when liver, brain, and heart, These sovereign thrones, are all supplied, and fill'd (Her sweet perfections,) with one self king!Away before me to sweet beds of flowers; Love-thoughts lie rich, when canopied with bowers [exeunt. SCENE II. THE SEA-COAST. Enter Viola, Captain, and Sailors. Vio. What country, friends, is this? Cap. Illyria, lady. Vio. And what should I do in Illyria? My brother he is in Elysium. [sailors? Perchance, he is not drown'd ;-what think you, Cap. It is perchance, that you yourself were saved. Assure yourself, after our ship did split, Vio. For saying so, there's gold: born Not three hours' travel from this very place. Vio. Who governs here? Cap. A noble duke, in nature, Duke. O, she that hath a heart of that fine As in his name. frame, To pay this debt of love but to a brother, How will she love, when the rich golden shaft Hath kill'd the flock of all affections else Vio. What is his name? Cap. Orsino. Vio. Orsino! I have heard my father name him He was a bachelor then Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count, That died some twelvemonth since; then leaving her In the protection of his son, her brother, Vio. O, that I served that lady; Cap. That were hard to compass; Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, captain; And though that nature with a beauteous wall Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee I will believe, thou hast a mind that suits Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be: When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see! Vio. I thank thee: lead me on. [e.reunt. SCENE III. A ROOM IN OLIVIA'S HOUSE. Enter Sir Toby Belch, and Maria. Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy to life. Mar. By my troth, sir Toby, you must come in earlier o'nights; your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours. Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted. Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. Sir To: Confine? I'll confine myself no finer than I am: these clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too; an' they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps. Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer. viol-de-gambo, and speaks three or four languages, word for word, without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature. Mar. He hath, indeed,—almost natural: for, besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; and, but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought, among the prudent, he would quickly have the gift of a grave. Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels, and substractors, that say so of him. Who are they? Mar. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company. Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece; I'll drink to her, as long as there is a passage in my throat, and drink in Illyria: he's a coward, and a coystril, that will not drink to my niece, till his brains turn o'the toe like a parish-top. What, wench? Castiliano vulgo; for here comes Sir Andrew Ague-face. Enter Sir Andrew Ague-cheek. Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew. Mar. And you too, sir. Sir To. Accost, Sir Andrew, accost. Sir And. What's that? Sir To. My niece's chamber-maid. [Belch? Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance. Mar. My name is Mary, sir. Sir And. Good mistress Mary Accost,Sir To. You mistake, knight: accost, is, front her, board her, woo her, assail her. Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost? Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen. Sir To. An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, 'would thou might'st never draw sword again. Sir And. An' you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand? Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand. Sir And. Marry, but you shall have and here's my hand. Mar. Now, sir, thought is free: I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it drink. Sir And. Wherefore, sweet heart? what's your metaphor? Sir And. Are you full of them? Mar. Ay, sir; I have them at my fingers' ends: marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren. e [exit Maria. Sir To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? Mar. Ay, he. Sir To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary: Sir To. He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria. when did I see thee so put down??ndl Mar. What's that to the purpose?[year.Sir And Never in your life, I think; unless Sir To.. Why, he has three thousand ducats a -Mar. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats; he's a very fool, and a prodigal. Sir To. Fye, that you'll say so! he plays o'the you see canary put me down: methinks, sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian, or an ordinary man has: but I am a great eater of bref, and, I believe, that does harm to my wit, si Sir To. No question. gence, that you call in question the continuance Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. of his love; he inconstant, sir, in his favours? I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby. Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight? Sir And. What is pourquoy? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues, that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts! Val. No, believe me. Vio. I thank you. Enter Duke, Curio, and Attendants. Vio. On your attendance, my lord; here. Sir To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head Thou know'st no less but all; I have unciasp'd of hair. Sir And. Why, would that have mended my hair? Sir To. Past question; for thou seest, it will not curl by nature. To thee the book even of my secret soul: Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, Till thou have audience. does't not? Sir To. Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs, and spin it off. Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby; your niece will not be seen; or, if she be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count himself, here hard by, wooes her. Sir To. She'll none o'the count: she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear it. Tut, there's life in't, man. Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o'the strangest mind i'the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether. Sir To. Art thou good at these kick-shaws, knight? Vio. Sure, my noble lord, [then? If she be so abandon'd to her sorrow For they shall yet belie thy happy years, Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight? Sir And. 'Faith, I can cut a caper. Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before them? are they like to take dust, like mistress Mall's picture? why dost thou not go to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? My very walk should be a jig! I would not so much as make water, but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard. Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a flame-coloured stock. Shall we set about some revels? Sir To. What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus? Sir And. Taurus? that's sides and heart. Sir To. No, sir! it is legs and thighs. Let me see thee caper: ha! higher: ha, ha!-excelient! [exeunt SCENE IV. A ROOM IN THE DUKE'S PALACE. Val. If the duke continue these favours towards For this affair.-Some four, or five, attend him; Vio. I'll do my best, To woo your lady; yet, aside] a barful strife! SCENE V. A ROOM IN OLIVIA'S HOUSE. Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been or I will not open my lips, so wide as a bristle may enter, in way of thy excuse: my lady will hang thee for thy absence. Clo. Let her hang me! he, that is well hanged Clo. He shall see none to fear. Mar. In the wars: and that you may be bold to say in your foolery. Clo. Well, God give them wisdom, that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents. Mar. Yet you will be hanged, for being so long absent: or, to be turned away, is not that as good as a hanging to you? Clo. Many a good hanging prevents a bad maryou, Cesario, you are like to be much advanced;riage; and, for turning away let summer bear it out. he hath known you but three days, and already You are no stranger. Vio. You either fear his humour, or my negli Mar. You are resolute, then? Clo. Not so, neither; but I am resolved on two points. Mar. That, if one break, the other will hold; | brain than a stone. Look you now, he's out of or, if both break, your gaskins fall. Clo. Apt, in good faith; very apt! Well, go thy way; if Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria. Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o'that; here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best. [exit. Enter Olivia and Malvolio. Clo. Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling! Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man: for what says Quinapulus ? Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.-God bless thee, lady! Oti. Take the fool away. Clo. Do you not hear, fellows? take away the lady. Oli. Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you besides, you grow dishonest. Clo. Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel will amend: for, give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry; bid the dishonest man mend himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him: any thing, that's mended, is but patched; virtue, that transgresses, is but patched with sin; and sin, that amends, is but patched with virtue: if that this simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower;-the lady bade take away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away. Oli. Sir, I bade them take away you. Clo. Misprision in the highest degree !-Lady, Cucullus non facit monachum; that's as much as to say, I wear not motley in my brain. madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool. Oli. Can you do it? Clo. Dexterously, good madonna. Oli. Make your proof. Good Clo. I must catechise you for it, madonna ; good my mouse of virtue, answer me. Oli. Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof. Clo. Good madonna, why mournest thou? Oli. Good fool, for my brother's death. Clo. I think his soul is in hell, madonna. Oli. I know his soul is in heaven, fool. Clo. The more fool you, madonna, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heaven-Take away the fool, gentlemen. Oli. What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not mend? Mal. Yes; and shall do, till the pangs of death shake him: infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make the better fool. Clo. God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn, that I am no fox; but he will not pass his word for twopence, that you are no fool. Oli. How say you to that, Malvolio? Mal. I marvel your ladyship takes delight in euch a barren rascal: I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool, that has no more his guard already: unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagged. I protest, I take, these wise men, that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better than the fools' zanies. Oli. O, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste with a distemper'd appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition, is to take those things for bird-bolts, that you deem cannon-bullets: there is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail: nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove Clo. Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speakest well of fools. Re-enter Maria. Mar. Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman, much desires to speak with you. Oli. From the count Orsino, is it.. Mar. I know not, madam; 'tis a fair young man, and well attended, Oli. Who of my people hold him in delay? Oli. Fetch him off, I pray you; he speaks nothing but madman: fie on him! [exit Maria.] Go you, Malvolio; if it be a suit from the count, I am sick, or not at home; what you will to dismiss it. [exit Malvolio.] Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and people dislike it. Clo. Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest son should be a fool; whose skull Jove cram with brains, for here he comes, one of thy kin, has a weak pia mater. Enter Sir Toby Belch. Oli. Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early by this lethargy? Sir To. Lechery! I defy lechery: there's one at the gate. Oli. Ay marry; what is he? Sir To. Let him be the devil, an he will, I care not: give me faith, say I. Well, it's all one. [exit. Oli. What's a drunken man like, fool? Clo. Like a drowned man, a fool, and a madman one draught above heat makes him a fool; the second mads him; and a third drowns him. Oli. Go thou and seek the coroner, and let him sit o'my coz; for he's in the third degree of drink, he's drowned: go, look after him. Clo. He is but mad yet madonna; and the fol shall look to the madman. [exit Clown. Re-enter Malvolio. Mal. Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you; I told him you were sick; he takes on him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you; I told him you were asleep; he seems to have a fore-knowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, lady? he's fortified against any denial. Oli. Tell him, he shall not speak with me. Mal. He has been told so: and he says, he'll stand at your door like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter of a bench, but he'll speak with you. Oii. What kind of man is he? Mal. Why of man kind. Oli. What manner of man? Vio. I am a messenger. Oli. Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver, when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office. Vio. It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture of war, no taxation of homage; I hold the olive in my hand: my words are as full of Mal. Of very ill manner: he'll speak with you, peace as matter. will you, or no. Oli. Of what personage, and years is he? Oli. Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman. Oli. Give me my veil: come, throw it o'er my face; We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy. Enter Viola. Vio. The honourable lady of the house, which is she? Oli. Speak to me, I shall answer for her. Your will? Vio. Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty, I pray you, tell me, if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her; I would be loth to cast away my speech; for, besides that it is excellently well penn'd, I have taken great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very comptible, even to the least sinister usage. Oli. Whence came you, sir? Vio. I can say little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me modest assurance, if you be the lady of the house that I may proceed in my speech, Oli. Are you a comedian? Vio. No, my profound heart: and yet, by the very fangs of malice, I swear, I am not that I play. Are you the lady of the house? Oli. If I do not usurp myself, I am. Vio. Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp yourself; for what is yours to bestow, is not yours to reserve. But this is from my commission: I will on with my speech in your praise, and then show you the heart of my message. Oli. Come to what is important in't I forgive you the praise. Vio. Alas, I took great pains to study it, and 't's poetical. Oli. It is the more like to be feigned; I pray you, kept it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone; if you have reason, be brief: 'tis not that time of moon with me, to make one in so kipping a dialogue. [way. Mar. Will you hoist sail, sir? here lies your Vio. No, good swabber: I am to hull here a little longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet lady. Oli. Tell me your mind. Oli. Yet you began rudely. What are you; what would you? Vio. The rudeness, that hath appear'd in me, have I learn'd from my entertainment. What I am, and what I would, are as secret as maidenhead: to your ears, divinity; to any other's, profanation. Oli. Give us the place alone: we will hear this divinity. [exit Maria.] Now, sir, what is your text? Vio. Most sweet lady,— Oli. A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said of it. Where lies your text? Vio. In Orsino's bosom. Oli. In his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom? Vio. To answer by the method, in the first of his heart. Oli. O, I have read it; it is heresy. Have you no more to say? Vio. Good madam, let me see your face. Oli. Have you any commission from your lord to negociate with my face? you are now out of your text? but we will draw the curtain, and show you the picture. Look you, sir, such a one as I was this present; is't not well done? [unveiling. Vio.'Tis beauty truly bent, whose red and white I Oli. O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; will give out divers schedules of my beauty: it shall be inventoried; and every particle, and utensil, labelled to my will: as, item, two lips indifferent red; item, two grey eyes, with lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to 'praise me. Vio. I see you what you are: you are too proud; Oli. How does he love me? Vio. With adorations, with fertile tears, love him: Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble, |