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The witings of a Patriot-Youth,

VII. And fummon Innocence and Truth

" 'Twas prudent though to drop his Bayesian To prop your cause !

-Was this for You ! “ And (entre nous) the Laureat says, But Juftice does your crimes pursue ;

“ He hopes he'll give up Richard. And sentence now alone remains,

" But then it tickles me to see, Which thus, by Me, the court ordains :

“ In Hastings, such a fhrimp as he " That you return from whence you came,

“ Attempt to ravish Pritchard, "" There to be stript of all your fame

VIII. * By vulgar hands ; That once a week

" The fellow pleased me well enough « Old-England pinch you till you squeak;

what d'ye call it? Hoadley fuff; " That ribbald Pamphlets do pursue you,

“ There's something there lik nature: « And lies and murmurs, to undo you.

“ Just fo, in life, he runs about, « With every foe that Worth procures,

“ Plays at bo-peep, now in, now our " And only Virtue's friends be Yours."

“ But hurts no mortal creatura

IX. 0 D E

“ And then there's Belmont, to be sure

“ O ho! my gentle Neddy Moore ! GARRICK,

" How does my good lord-mayor?

“ And have you left Cheapfide, my dear! V PON

" And will you write again next year, THE TALK OF THE TOWN.

“ To Thew your fav’rite player? “When I said I would die a batchelor, I did not

" think I should live till I were married.” “ But Merope, we own, is fine,

Much ADO ABOUT NOTHING. • Eumenes charms in every line ;

" How prettily he vapours! ro

“ So gay his dress, so young his look, There! don't you see her." See her! Who?” “One would have fworn 'twas Mr. Cook,

"1 Or Mathews, cutting capers." Nay, hang me if I tell. There's Garrick in the music-box!

XI. Watch but his eyes; see there"O pox?" Thus, David, will the ladies flout, “ Your servant, Maʼmoiselle !"

And councils hold at every rout,

To alter all your plays;

Yates Mall be Benedi&t next year,
But tell me, David, is it true?

Macklin be Richard, Taswell Lear,
Lord help us! what will fome folks do ?
How will they curse this stranger!

And Kitty Clive be Bayes.
What! fairly taken in for life!

XII. A sober, serious, wedded wife!

Two parts they readily allow
O fie upon you, Ranger!

Are yours; but not one more, they vow;

And thus they close their spite:

You will be Sir John Brute, they say, The clers too have join'd the chat; "A papift!-Has he thought of that?

A very Sir John Brute all day,

And Fribble all the night. " Or means he to convert her?!" Troth, boy, unlefs your zeal be stout,

The nymph may turn Your faith about,

But tell me, fair ones, is it so?
By arguments experter.

“ You all did love him once *,” we know;

What then provokes your gall? The ladies, pale and out of breath,

Forbear to rail'll tell you why;
Wild as the witches in Macbeth,

Quarrels may come, or madam die,
Ask if the « deed be donc !"

And then there's hope for all. 0, David! listen to my lay!

XIV. I'll prophesy the things they'll say;

And now a word or two remains,
For tongues, you know, will run.

Sweet Davy, and I close my strains:

Think well ere you engage ; "And pray, what other news d' ye hear?

Vapours and ague-fits may coine, "Marry'd! But don't you think, my dear,

And matrimonial claims at home, “ He's growing out of fashion?

Un-nerve you for the stage. " People may fancy what they will,

XV. "But Quin's the only actor ftill,

But if you find your fpirits right,
"To touch the tender passion.

Your mind at ease, your body tight,

Take her; you can't do better: ''Nay, madam, did you mind, last night,

A pox upon the tattling Town!. “ His Archer? Not a line on't right!

The fops that join to cry her down “ I thought I heard some hisses.

Would give their ears to get her. "Good God! if Billy Mills, thought I, "Or Billy Havard would but try,

* Julius Cefar. “They'd beat him all to pieces.

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But the first was too great, and the last was too good, Then if her heart be good and kind,

And as for the rest, The might get whom she cou'd. (And sure that face beipeaks a mind

Away hurried Fortune, perplex'd and half mad, As soft as woman's can be)

But her promise was pass'd, and a wife must be had: You'll grow as constant as a dove,

She travers'd the town from one corner to t'other, And taste the purer (weets of love,

Now knocking at one door, and then at another.
Unvisited by Ranby.

The girls curtsy'd low as she look'd in their faces,
And bridled and primm'd with abundance of graces ;

But this was coquettish, and that was a prude,
ENVY AND FORTUNE: One stupid and dull, t’other noisy and rude;

A third was affected, quite careless a fourth,
A T A L E.

With prate without meaning, and pride without


A fifth, and a fixth, and a seventh were such
As either knew nothing or something too much

In Mort as they pass'd, me to all had objections ; AYS Envy to Fortune, “Soft, soft, Madam Flirt! The gay wanted thought, the good-humour'd affec. “ Not so fast with your wheel, you'll be down tions, in the dirt!

The prudent were ugly, the sensible dirty, Well, and how does your David ? Indeed, my dear and all of them flirts, from fifteen up to thirty. creature,

Wlien Fortune saw this the began to look filly, ' “ You've Mewn him a wonderful deal of good-na- Yet ftill she went on till she reach'd Piccadilly; ture;

But vex'd and fatigu’d, and the night growing late, “ His bags are so full, and such praises his due, She refted her wheel within Burlington gate. “ That the like was ne'er known--and all owing to My lady rose up, as the law her come in, you;

«'o ho, madam Genius! pray where have you “ But why won't you make him quite happy for life, been?" " And to all you have done add the gift of a wife?" (For her ladyship thought, from so serious an air, Says Fortune, and smild, “ Madam Envy, God 'Twas Genius come home, for it seems the live save ye!

there.) “ But why always sneering at me and poor Davy? But Fortune, not minding her ladyship's blunder, “ I owl that sometimes, in contempt of all rules, And wiping her forehead, cry'd, “ Well may you " I lavish my favours on blockheads and fools;

wonder “ But the case is quite different here, I aver it, “ To see me thus Aurry'd;"'--then told her the case, “ For David ne'er knew me, 'till brought me by And fighed till her ladyship laughid in her face. Merit,

“ Mighty civil indeed!"_" Come, a truce, says “ And yet to convince you-nay, Madam, no hisses my lady, “ Good-manners at least-such behaviour as this “ A truce with complaints, and perhaps I may

is!! (For mention but Merit, and Envy flies out “ I'll Mew you a girl that-Here; Martin! go With a hiss and a yell that would filence a rout.

tell But Fortune went on)" To convince you, I say, “ But she's gone to undrefs; by-and-by is as well “ That I honour your scheme, I'll about it to day; " I'll thew you a fight that you'll fancy uncommon, “ The man shall be marry'd, so pray now Þe easy, “ Wit, beauty, and goodness, all met in a woman į “ And Garrick for once shall do something to please “ A heart to no folly or mischief inclin'd ye.

“ A body all grace, and all sweetness a mind." So saying, the rattled her wheel out of fight, “0, pray let me fee her," says Fortune, and While Envy walk'd after, and grinn'd with delight. smil'd, It seems 'twas a trick that the long had been brewing, “ Do but give her to me, and I'll make her my To marry poor David, and so be his ruin :

child For Siander had told her the creature lov'd pelf, “ But who, my dear, who :-for you have not told And car'd not a fig for a soul but himself;

yet"From thence she was sure, had the Devil a daughter, “ Who indeed, says my lady, if not Violette ? He'd snap at the girl, so 'twas Fortune that brought The words were scarce spoke when she enter'd the

room; And then should her temper be fullen or haughty, A blush at the stranger (till heighten'd her bloom ; Her fileth too be frail, and incline to be naughty, So humble her looks were, so mild was her air, 'Twould fret the poor fellow so out of his reason, That Fortune, astonish'd, sat mute in her chair. That Barry and Quin would set fanions next season. My lady rose up, and with countenance bland,

But Fortune, who saw what the Fury design’d, “ This is Fortune, my dear," and presented her Resolv’d to get David a wife to his mind:

hand : Yet afraid of herself in a maiter so nice,

The goddess embrac'd her, and call'd her her own, She visited Prudence, and begg'd her advice. And, compliments over, her errand made krown. The nymph shook her head when the butiness the Bút how the sweet girl colourd, flutterid, and knew,

trembled, And said that her female acquaintance were few; How oft she said no, and how ill she difsembled ;

That excepting Miss R***-0), yes, there was one, Or how little David rejoic'd at the news,
A friend of that lady's, the visited none;

And swore, from all others, 'twas her he would chiuse ;

aid ye.


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What methods he try'd, and what arts to prevail ; That your Honour would please, at this dangerous
All these, were they told, would but burden my crisis,

To take to your bosom a few private vices,
In lort, all affairs were so happily carry'd, By which your petitioners haply might thrive,
That hardly fix weeks pass’d away till they marry'd. | And keep both themselves and Contention alive.

But Envy grew fick when the story she heard, In compassion, good Sir, give them something to
Violette was the girl that of all the most fear'd;

say, She knew her good-humour, her beauty and sweet. And your Honour's petitioners ever shall pray.

nels, Her ease and compliance, her taste and her neatness ; From these she was sure that her man could not roam,

T RI A L And must rise on the stage, from contentment at

home : So on the went hissing, and inwardly curs’d her,


ALIAS .SLIM SAL, And Garrick next season will certainly burst her.







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THAT Phymes



HE prisoner was at large indicted,

For that by thirst of gain excited,

One day in July last, at tea,
And in the house of Mrs. P.
From the left breast of E. M. gent.

With base felonious intent,

Did then and there a heart with ftrings,

Reft, quiet, peace, and other things,

Steal, rob and plunder; and all them
The chattels of the said E. M.

The prosecutor swore, last May
HAT your Honour's petitioners (dealers in He left his friends in town, and went

(The month he knew, but not the day)

Upon a visit down in Kent: And writers of scandal, for mending the times)

That staying there a month or two, By losses in business, and England's well-doing,

He spent his time as others do,
Are funk in their credit, and verging on ruin.

In riding, walking, fishing, swimming ;
That these their misfortunes, they humbly con-

But being much inclind to women,

And young and wild, and no great reafoner,
Arise not from dulness, as some folks believe,
But from rubs in their way which your Honour has He own'd, 'twas rumour'd in those parts

He got acquainted with the prisoner,

That The 'ad a trick of stealing hearts, And want of materials to carry on trade.

And from fifteen to twenty-two, That they always had form'd high conceits of Had made the devil and all to do: their use,

But Mr. W. the vicar, And meant elseir last breath should go out in abuse ;

(And no man brews you better liquor) But now (and they speak it with sorrow and tears)

Spoke of her thefts as tricks of youth,
Since your Honour has fat at the helm of affairs,

The frolicks of a girl forsooth:
No party will join them, no faction invite
To heed what they say, or to read what they write ; He said; for she was twenty-four.

Things now were on another score,
Sedition, and Tumult, and Discord are fied,

However, to make matters short,
And Slander scarce ventures to lift up her head

And not to trespass on the court,
In mort, public business is so carry'd on,

The lady was discover'd soon,
That their country is fav’d, and the patriots undone.

And thus it was. One afternoon,
To perplex them ftill more, and sure famine to

The ninth of July last, or near it,

(As to the day, he could not swear it)
(Now satíre has lost both its truth and its sting)

In company at Mrs. P.'s,
If, in spite of their natures, they bungle at praise,

Where folks say any thing they please;.
Your honour regards not, and nobody pays.

Dean L. and lady Mary by,
YOUR petitioners therefore must humbly intreat
(As the times will allow, and your Honour thinks (He own'd he was inclined to think

And Fanny waiting on Miss Y.

Both were a little in their drink)
That measures be chang’d, and some cause of com-

The pris’ner afk'd, and called him cousin,
Be immediately furnish'd, to end their restraint;

How many kiffes made a dozen ?

That being, as he own'd, in liquor,
Their credit thereby, and their trade to retrieve,

The question made his blood run quicker,
That again they may rail, and the nation believe.

And, sense and reason in eclipse,
Or else (if your wisdom shall deem it all one)

He vow'd he'd score them on her lips.
Now the Parliament's rising, and business is done,

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That rising up to keep his word,
He got as far as kiss the third,
And would have counted to other nine;
And so all present did opine,
But that he felt a sudden dizziness,
That quite undid him for the business :
His speech, he said, began to falter,
His eyes to stare, his mouth to water;
His breast to thump without cessation,
And all within one conflagration.
Bless me! says Fanny, what's the matter?
And lady Mary look'd hard at her,
And stamp'd, and withid the pris'ner further,
And cry'd out, Part them, or there's murther !
That ruil he held the pris'ner fast,
And would have stood it to the last;
But struggling to go through the reft,
He felt a pain across his breast,
A sort of sudden twinge, he said,
That feem'd almost to strike him dead,
And after that such cruel smarting,
He thought the soul and body parting.
That then he let the pris’nier go,
And stagger'd off a step or so ;
And thinking that his heart was ill,
He begg'd of Miss Y.'s maid to feel.
That Fanny ftept before the rest,
And laid her hand upon his breast;
But, mercy on us ! what a ftare
The creature gave ! No heart was there ;
Souse went her fingers in the hole,
Whence heart, and strings, and all were ftolc.
That Fanny turn'd, and told the prisoner,
She was a thief, and so she'd christen her;
And that it was a burning shame,
And brought the houfe an evil name;
And if the did not put the heart in,
The man would pine and die for certain.
The pris'ner then was in her airs,
And bid her mind her own affairs ;
And told his reverence, and the rest of 'em,
She was as honest as the best of 'em.
That lady Mary and dean L.
Rose up and said, 'Twas mighty well,
But that, in eral terms they said it,
A heart was gone, and some one had it:
Worus would not do, for search they must,
And search they would, and her the first.
That then the pris'ner dropp'd her anger,
And said, the hop'd they would not hang her ;
That all she did was meant in jest,
And there the heart was, and the rest.
That then the dean cry'd out, О fie!
And sent in haste for justice I.
Who, though he knew her friends and pity'd her,
Call'd her hard names, and so committed her.

The parties present swore the same ;
And Fanny said, the pris'ner's name
Had frighten'd all the country round;
And glad The was the bill was found.
She knew a man, who knew another,
Who knew the very party's brother;
Who lost his heart by mere surprize,
One morning looking at her eyes ;
And others had been known to squeak,
Who only chanc'd to hear her speak:
For she had words of such a fort,
That though the knew no reason foi't,

Would make a man of sense run mad,
And rifle him of all he had ;
And that he'd rob the whole community,
If ever she had opportunity.

The pris’ner now first filence broke,
And curtsy'd round her as the spoke.
She own'd, the faid, it much incens'd her,
To hear such matters tworn against her,
But that she hop'd to keep her temper,
And prove herfélf “ eadem semper.
That what the prosecutor swore
Was some part true, and some part more :
She ownd the had been often seen with him;
And laugh'd and chatted on the green with him
The fellow seem'd to have humanity,
And told her tales that footh'd her vanity,
Pretending that he lov'd her vastly,
And that all women elle look'd ghaftly.
But then the hop'd the court would think
She never was inclin'd to drink,
Or suffer hands like his to dâub her, or
Encourage men to kiss and slobber her ;
She'd have folks know she did not love it,
Or if she did, she was above it.
But this, the said, was sworn of course,
To prove her giddy, and then worse ;
As the whose conduct was thought “ lævis,"
Might very well be reckon'd thievish.
She hop'd, the said, the court's discerning
Would pay some honour to her learning,
For every day from four to past fix,
She went up-stairs, and read the classics.
Thus having clear'd herself of levity,
The rest, she said, would come with brevity:
And first, it injur'd not her honour
To own the heart was found upon her ;
For the could prove, and did aver,
The paltry thing belong'd to her :
The fact was thus. This prince of knaves
Was once the humbleft of her Naves,
And often had confess'd the dart
Her eyes had lodg'd within his heart :
That me, as 'twas her constant fashion,
Made great diversion of his passion ;
Which fet his blood in such a ferment,
As seem'd to threaten his interment :
That then she was afraid of losing him,
And so defifted from abusing him ;
And often came and felt his pulfe,
And bid him write to docter Hulle.
The prosecutor thank'd her kindly,
And righ'd, and faid the look'd divinely ;
But told her that his heart was bursting,
And doctors he had little trust in ;
He therefore begg'd her to accept it,
And hop'd 'would mend if once the kept is.
That having no averfion to it,
She said, with

all her soul, The'd do it; But then the begg'd him to remember,

he should need it in December, (For winter months would make folks Thiver, Who wanted either heart or liver) It never could return; and added, 'Twas her's for life, if once the had it. The prosecutor said, Amen, And that he wish'd it not again ; And took it from his breast and gave her, And bow'd, and thank'd her for the favour ;


But begg'd the thing might not be spoke of,
As heartless men were made a joke of.
The next day, whisp'ring him about it,
And asking how he felt without it,
He figh'd, and cry'd, Alack! alack !
And begg'd, and pray'd to have it back;
Or that she'd give him her's instead on't:
But the conceiv'd there was no need on't ;
And said, and bid him make no pocher,
He should have neither one noi i'other.
That then he rav'd and storm'd like fury,
And said, that one was his “ de jure,”
And rather than he'd leave pursuing her,
He'd fwear a robbery, and ruin her.

That this was truth she did aver,
Whatever hap betided Her ;
Only that Mrs. P. she said,
Miss Y. and her deluded maid,
And lady Mary, and his reverence,
Were folks to whom the paid fome deference;
And that she verily believ'd
They were not perjur'd, but deceiv'd.

Then doctor D. begg'd leave to speak,
And figh'd as if his heart would break.
He said, that he was madam's surgeon,
Or rather, as in Greek, chirurgeon,
From “ cheir, manus, ergon, opus"
(As scope is from the Latin “ scopus").

That he, he said, had known the prisoner
From the first fun that ever rise on her ;
And griev'd he was to see her there ;
But took upon lifelf to swear,
There was r.ot to be found in nature
A sweeter or a better creature ;
And if the king (God bicts him) knew her,
He'd leave St. James's to get to her :
But then as to the fact in question,
He knew no more on't than Hephaestion ;
It might be false, and might be true ;
And this, he said, was all he knew.

The judge proceeded to the charge,
And gave the evidence at large,
But often cast a sheep's eye at her,
And strove to mitigate the matter,
Pretending facts were not so clear,
And mercy ought to interfere.

The jury then withdrew a moment,
As if on weighty points to comment;
And right or wrong, refolv'd to save her,
They gave, a verdict in her favour.

But why or wherefore things were so,
It matters not for us to know:
The culprit, by escape grown bold,
Pilfers alike from young and old,
The country all around her tcazes,
And robs or murders whom the pleases.










To these, detesting praise, I write,

And vent, in charity, my spite. THL EAGLE, AND THE ASSEMBLY or BIRDS. With friendly hand I hold the glass

To all, promiscuous as they pais ;

Should folly there her likenets view,

I fret nor that the mirror's true ;
If the fantastic form oitend,

I made it not, but would amend,

Virtue, in every clime and age, "HE moral lay, to beauty due,

Spurns at the folly-soothing page,

While fatire, that offends the ear Well picas'd to hope my vacant hours

Of vice and passion, pleases her. Have been employ'd to sweeten yours.

Premising this, your anger Ipare,
Truth under fiction I impart,

And claim the fesle you who dare.
To weed out folly from the heart;
And shew the paths, that lead astray

THE birds in place, by factions press’d,
The wand'ring nymph from wisdom's way. To Jupiter their pray’rs address'd;
1 fatter none. The great and good

By fpecious lies the state was vex'd, Are by their actions underttood;

Their counsels libellers perplex'd; Your monument if a&tions raise,

They begg'd (to stop seditious tongues) Shall I deface by idle praise ?

A gracious hearing of their wrongs. I echo not the voice of fame,

Jove grants their suit. The Eagle sate, That dwells delighted on your name;

Decider of the grand debate. Her friendly tale, however true,

The Pye, to trust and pow'r preferr'd, Were flatt'ry, if I told it you.

Demands permission to be heard. The proud, the envious, and the vain,

Says he, Prolixity of parale The jilt, the prude, demand my strain ;

You know I hate. This Libel says, VOL. VII.


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