THE MODERN PATRIOT.

I.

REBELLION is my theme all day,

I only wish 'twould come

(As who knows but perhaps it may)

A little nearer home.

II.

Yon roaring boys who rave and fight
On t'other fide th' Atlantic,

I always held them in the right,
But moft fo when moft frantic.

III.

When lawless mobs infult the court,
That man fhall be my toaft,

If breaking windows be the sport
Who bravely breaks the most.

IV.

But oh! for him my fancy culls
The choiceft flow'rs fhe bears,
Who conftitutionally pulls

Your house about your ears.

V. Such

V.

Such civil broils are my delight,

Tho' fome folks can't endure 'em, Who fay the mob are mad outright, And that a rope must cure 'em.

VI.

A rope! I wish we patriots had

Such ftrings for all who need 'em

What! hang a man for going mad ?
Then farewell British freedom.

On obferving fome Names of little Note recorded in the BIOGRAPHIA BRITANNICA.

OH fond attempt to give a deathlefs lot,
To names ignoble, born to be forgot!
In vain recorded in hiftoric page,

They court the notice of a future age,
Those twinkling tiny luftres of the land,
Drop one by one from Fame's neglecting hand,
Lethæan gulphs receive them as they fall,
And dark oblivion foon absorbs them all.

So

So when a child, as playful children ufe,
Has burnt to tinder a ftale laft year's news,
The flame extinct, he views the roving fire,
There goes my lady, and there goes the fquire,
There goes the parfon, oh! illuftrious fpark,
And there, fcarce lefs illuftrious, goes the clerk.

RE POR T

Of an adjudged Cafe not to be found in any of the Books.

I.

BETWEEN Nofe and Eyes a ftrange conteft arofe,

The fpectacles fet them unhappily wrong;

The point in difpute was, as all the world knows,
To which the faid fpectacles ought to belong.

II.

So the tongue was the lawyer and argued the cause With a great deal of fkill, and a wig full of learn

ing,

While chief baron Ear fat to balance the laws,

So fam'd for his talent in nicely difcerning.

III. In

III.

In behalf of the Nofe, it will quickly appear,

And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear,

Which amounts to poffeffion time out of mind.

IV.

Then holding the fpectacles up to the court

Your lordship observes they are made with a ftrad

dle,

As wide as the ridge of the Nofe is, in short,
Defign'd to fit close to it, just like a saddle.

V.

Again, would your lordship, a moment, suppose ('Tis a cafe that has happen'd and may be again) That the visage or countenance had not a Nose, Pray who wou'd or who could wear spectacles then?

VI.

On the whole it appears, and my argument fhows
With a reasoning the court could never condemn,
That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nofe,

And the Nofe was as plainly intended for them.
VII. Then

VII.

Then shifting his fide as a lawyer knows how,
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes,

But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally

wife.

VIII.

So his lordship decreed with a grave folemn tone,
Decifive and clear without one if or but--

That whenever the Nofe put his fpectacles on
By day-light or candle-light-Eyes fhould be fhut.

On the Burning of LORD MANSFIELD's Library, together with his MSS. by the Mob, in the Month of June, 1780.

I.

SO then the Vandals of our ifle,

Sworn foes to fenfe and law,

Have burnt to duft a nobler pile

Than ever Roman faw!