on the occasion, that for many months after I never committed myself to paper in any more elaborate production than a guard-report or an innocent love-letter-I say innocent, for as yet all my effusions in this way were of the high-heroic cast, and but little calculated to do any mischief, even to the most tender-hearted innamorata.

But I shall not trouble the reader with all the absurdities I committed before contact with the world had somewhat licked me into shape; for it was now but too apparent that I had rushed into a superior phase of existence, with all the ignorance and conceit of those precocious boys embalmed in Punch's immortal page. One practical joke, however, I must not omit, which was played off against me at this time, and which was not altogether devoid of salutary con

sequences.

I had taken such a disgust to my barrack-room, from my recent confinement, that I went to reside for a time in lodgings; and, as illluck would have it, pitched upon one not far from the barracks, which was kept by a buxom little grass widow, whose husband had recently left her, and who was therefore compelled, as a pis aller, to take in single gentlemen, and do for them.

I take Heaven to witness, that my thoughts were most particularly innocent when I entered upon the establishment of Mrs. Dawkins; for the idea of trespassing on the domain of another never once tarnished my imagination. My brother officers, however, who were constantly dropping in upon me, to have a chat with my hostess, either were or affected to be of a different opinion; and were constantly rallying me on my good taste, on the tact with which I could choose a quarter, on the tidy manner in which my ménage was conducted, and a variety of other topics of a similar tendency. I must, however, admit that my little grass widow gave some colour to these insinuations, by unguardedly praising to my wild companions the gentleness of my manners and the beautiful style in which I played the flute.

All this came in due time to the ears of our lieutenant-colonel, the Hon. Thomas Foley, who, not to speak irreverently of the aristocracy, was the most perfect devil I ever met with; that is to say, though a high-principled, talented, and well-educated man, he drank more wine than a dozen, without being tipsy; he was a desperate, but most honourable gambler, and he talked in his cups more horrible stuff than ever was uttered at a "boozing-ken" in St. Giles's. He was, however, a general favourite, who loved to play the boy as well as any of us; and such was the singularly juvenile cast and expression of his features, that, when surrounded, as he generally was, by a host of young fellows, he might very well be taken for an overgrown junior ensign.

This eccentric scion of nobility thought it was an opportunity not to be overlooked, to have a little fun at my expense; for he had taken a fancy to me, and loved to get me into scrapes, for the pleasure of getting me out of them. He led me into a duel once, and was my friend on the occasion, when my adversary and I fired seven shots each, without hitting, though at ten paces. The considerate Foley then declared that enough had been done for honour, and insisted on

C

our shaking hands, which we accordingly did. The sagacious reader will, doubtless, understand that the seconds, in loading, had left out the bullets; a fact of which all parties were cognizant but myself.

In this present scheme against my happiness, Colonel Foley found a ready assistant in our paymaster, Davis, who had originally been an attorney at Leominster, and who, in the hope of one day or other representing that snug borough in Parliament, was always delighted to be the agent of a little safe devilry to gratify men who had paramount interest therein. This cunning accountant prepared the scenery and machinery of the drama, and by his legal knowledge effectually completed my mystification.

Accordingly, one evening when Colonel Foley, Davis, two or three others, and myself had outsat the moderates, and were just commencing on our fourth whip-by the way, it may be necessary to explain the meaning of this term. Know then, gentle reader, that, on ordinary days, when no strangers were present, and the usual mess allowance of a pint of wine each had been discussed, of which due notice was always given by signal from the vice-president, a second would, perhaps, be placed upon the table, and those only who chose to partake of it would remain. After this an empty wine glass was sent round, and those who wished to sit longer put in a shilling each for an additional allowance. This was called "whipping;" the messwaiter took the money, fresh bottles were placed upon the table, and the company closed up to the president, to enjoy à still more social chat till bed-time.

This was the position in which we were on the present occasion: the generous juice had made me eloquent, and I was discoursing very largely on the ordinary topics of women, war, and wine, when the mess-room door opened, and in walked two very suspicious-looking fellows, muffled up in wrap-rascals, with each a huge bludgeon in his hand. They made directly up to me, and each tapping me on a shoulder, as if "to make assurance doubly sure," one of them handed me a partly printed, partly written paper, and said :

"Ensign Blake, I arrests you in the king's name, and in wartue of this here latitat."

I mechanically took the paper, the awful title of which gave me a considerable shock, though I was by no means clear as to its signification. It might be a mittimus to Newgate for robbery, or a statewarrant to the Tower for high treason; but which of these two delinquencies I had been guilty of I could not at the moment tell: in my perplexity I kept gazing, with mouth wide open, on the intruders and on my brother officers alternately, but I could not utter a word to save my life.

At length Colonel Foley very kindly interfered in my behalf, and sternly rebuked the men for daring to intrude on the mess-room of his Majesty's troops: but they very stiffly said they knew what they were about; they had the law on their side, and they never cared nothing, not they, for nobody's big looks.

Let us hear, then, what it's all about," said the colonel. "Had you not better read the latitat?" suggested Davis,

"Good gracious!" said the colonel, perusing it, and mumbling to himself, "distrain ye the goods and chattels criminal conversationDorothy Dawkins, &c. &c., that is altogether beyond my interference. I was in hopes it was only a simple caption for a paltry debt or so, instead of an action by Jeremiah Dawkins."

"Very serious, sir," said Davis, shaking his head and sipping his wine. Banco regis, a very serious matter indeed."

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Unlawful communication," said the colonel, "with a femme couverte."

"Destitution of marital rights and comforts," chimed in Davis. Damages laid at five thousand pounds," said the colonel.

But, my dear colonel," I at length gasped out, "my dear Davis, I know no more about Dorothy Dawkins than you do.'

Pray, sir," said the colonel, drawing himself up with great hauteur, "don't attempt to implicate me in so disgraceful a transaction."

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For my part," said Davis, "I wash my hands of the shocking affair altogether."

"My dear Richardson, my dear Jenkins," I said, appealing to the others.

"It's a very ugly business," said Richardson; "that I must say, though you are my friend."

Hang me," said Jenkins, "if I'd stand in your shoes for a trifle." My good fellows," I exclaimed, turning round to the bailiffs, "I'm perfectly innocent, 'pon my honour.".

"Gammon!" said one, putting his tongue in his cheek.

"You look like it," said the other, with a diabolical leer.

I take Heaven to witness," I exclaimed, casting up my hands and eyes devoutly to the ceiling, "that Dorothy Dawkins may be a vestal virgin for anything I know to the contrary."

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Oh, oh, oh!" cried some. 'Shame! shame!" cried others

"But where on earth," I exclaimed, with a look of profound despair; "where am I to get five thousand pounds?"

There's the Kilkenny estate, you know," said the colonel, “ of which you talked so much this evening."

""Tis gone long ago," I replied, "with that humbugging James the Second."

"And that beautiful piece of bog land on Slieve na Muck," observed Davis.

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It's mortgaged," I said, "for more than it's worth.”

Come, come," said the principal bailiff, "we can't wait here no longer, not for nobody. So put on your hat and go along with us; we have a po-chay at the door, quite handy."

"But my good fellows, I'm innocent," I exclaimed.

"You can tell that to the judges, or the marines, if you like,” said the tipstaff; "but in the meanwhile you must go to quod."

I threw another imploring glance upon the colonel, upon Davis, upon Richardson, upon Jenkins; but they all sat like so many statues, with their eyes fixed upon the ceiling, and I saw that the case was hopeless.

Confound the fellow !" I said, "why doesn't Jeremiah Dawkins call me out, and vindicate his injured honour like a man?"

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There, gentlemen," said the bailiff, "I call you all to witness, he has confessed his guilt."

"I have done no such thing," I cried.

Yes you did," said the bailiff's assistant; you said as how you injured the poor man's honour."

voce.

Oh, oh! Shame, shame!" exclaimed my brother officers, uná

"I said nothing of the kind," I cried, tears of shame and indignation starting from my eyes; but if he fancies I have injured his honour, I'll give him satisfaction this instant; and I'll give him three shots to one, rather than go to your infernal banco regis."

"We have nothing to do with that," said the bailiff doggedly.. "Our orders is to seize your corpus, and go with us you must.'

With a heavy heart, I accordingly prepared to accompany the myrmidons of the law; and we had actually reached the door, when the colonel called out in a voice evidently stifled with deep emotion: Stop for a moment."

The bailiffs accordingly stopped, and came to where the colonel was sitting.

"After all," said Foley, when he had somewhat recovered himself, "this is a bailable offence, even supposing it to have been committed."

"It never was committed, my dear colonel," I exclaimed, "I pledge you my word of honour."

Pray," resumed the colonel, "what amount of security do you require for Mr. Blake's appearance when called upon to answer the charge in the Court of King's Bench ?"

We cannot take a farthing less, your worship," said the bailiff. "than the full amount of the damages laid."

"Tis a heavy sum to be bound in," said the colonel with a deep sigh; "but rather than see my friend in jail, I'll risk it, though 'tis every fraction of ready I have in the world."

I threw myself into the arms of the generous Foley, and vowed eternal gratitude for his goodness.

"Davis," said the colonel, "be good enough to go and draw up the bail-bonds, and I'll sign them at once, before the affair gets wind."

The paymaster accordingly withdrew with his worthy instruments, and, to my great comfort, I saw no more of them. I sat down, of course, to another bottle with my generous deliverer; to whom, in the overflowings of my heart, I made an ample confession of all my peccadilloes.

I was assisted home about the small hours by Tom King, who put me to bed; and the next morning I awoke with a splitting headache and a misty consciousness of something like a frightful nightmare.

CHAPTER VI.

NORMAN CROSS.

IN a few days the roguery oozed out; and, as Dr. Prolix would say, it caused a great laugh at the time. I had my revenge, however, at a subsequent period, at least on the paymaster, for his accomplice was too good a fellow to bear malice against; but for a long time after I was never called anything but Dorothy Dawkins.

This custom of giving nick-names, by the bye, prevailed very much amongst us young fellows at that time, as indeed it may to this day for anything I know to the contrary. One of my brother subalterns, who walked in a strange sidelong manner, we always called Rightshoulders-forward; another who, with his hands in his pockets, made an incessant jerking motion with his elbows, we called Shuffle-thewind; a third, a tall, lanky fellow, with a receding forehead and a wide mouth always open, and uttering turkey-like sounds, we called Hobble-gobbleum; and a fourth, who was certainly more like a pioneer than a gentleman, we nicknamed Shoulder-your-shovel. Our quarter-master was a remarkably stiff skeleton figure and had several deep blue marks on his face, from the explosion of a cartridge when he was in the ranks: we called him Starch-and-blue; and the sobriquet derived considerable piquancy from the fact that his wife had been a washerwoman; while our adjutant never went by any other name than that of Mind-to-move-forward! this being the very mystical caution with which he invariably prefaced the word "march!" We were so much in the habit of calling our drill-sergeant Marshal Saxe, that it rather mystified a young fellow who had recently joined, and who in all seriousness begged the colonel one day on parade, to exempt him from further drill, as he had been told he was quite perfect.

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Who told you so?" asked the colonel, incredulously.

"Marshal Saxe, sir," replied Johnny Newcome, amidst a general roar of laughter.

But these are boyish recollections, unworthy of this scientific and utilitarian age, when the youth of Great Britain, though still in their teens, are deep in the mysteries of steamships, railroads, and money questions; working to a thread-paper their organ of acquisitiveness, and deigning to converse, in their convivial moments, about nothing but nuggets, cast iron, and gold dust. Yes, boyish recollections they doubtless are, but I can never forget that they refer to those beardless youths who smote the hairy warriors of Gaul, and broke their golden idol with the feet of clay-those laughing, tender offspring of fond mothers, who bore with unflinching spirit the march, the bivouac, and the battle-field; and whose blood, freely and fearlessly shed on many a distant soil, has preserved to "merrie England" her happy homes and altars free, her maids and matrons