To speak of every kind of coach,
It is not my intention ;

But there is still one vehicle

Deserves a little mention;

The world a sage has called a stage,
With all its living lumber,
And Malthus swears it always bears
Above the proper number.

The law will transfer house or land
Forever and a day hence,

For lighter things, watch, brooches, rings,
You'll never want conveyance;
Ho! stop the thief! my handkerchief!
It is no sight for laughter

Away it goes, and leaves my nose
To join in running after !

EPICUREAN REMINISCENCES OF A SENTIMENTALIST.

"My Tables! Meat it is, I set it down!" HAMLET.

I THINK it was Spring-but not certain I am
When my passion began first to work ;
But I know we were certainly looking for lamb,
And the season was over for pork.

'Twas at Christmas, I think, when I met with Miss Chase,

Yes,- for Morris had asked me to dine,— And I thought I had never beheld such a face, Or so noble a turkey and chine.

[wild,

Placed close by her side, it made others quite With sheer envy to witness my luck;

How she blushed as I gave her some turtle, and smiled

As I afterwards offered some duck.

I looked and I languished, alas, to my cost, Through three courses of dishes and meats; Getting deeper in love but my heart was quite lost,

When it came to the trifle and sweets!

With a rent-roll that told of my houses and land,
To her parents I told my designs

And then to herself I presented my hand,
With a very fine pottle of pines!

I asked her to have me for weal or for woe,
And she did not object in the least;

I can't tell the date but we married, I know,
Just in time to have game at the feast.

We went to

it certainly was the seaside;

For the next, the most blessed of morns,

I remember how fondly I gazed at my bride,
Sitting down to a plateful of prawns.

O never may memory lose sight of that year,
But still hallow the time as it ought,
That season the "grass" was remarkably dear,
And the peas at a guinea a quart.

So happy, like hours, all our days seemed to haste,
A fond pair, such as poets have drawn,
So united in heart so congenial in taste,
We were both of us partial to brawn!

A long life I looked for of bliss with my bride, But then Death — I neʼer dreamt about that! Oh there's nothing is certain in life, as I cried, When my turbot eloped with the cat!

My dearest took ill at the turn of the year,
But the cause no physician could nab ;
But something it seemed like consumption, I fear,
It was just after supping on crab.

In vain she was doctored, in vain she was dosed,
Still her strength and her appetite pined;
She lost relish for what she had relished the most,
Even salmon she deeply declined.

For months still I lingered in hope and in doubt, While her form it grew wasted and thin;

But the last dying spark of existence went out, As the oysters were just coming in!

She died, and she left me the saddest of men
To indulge in a widower's moan,

Oh, I felt all the power of solitude then,
As I ate my first natives alone!

But when I beheld Virtue's friends in their cloaks, And with sorrowful crape on their hats,

O my grief poured a flood! and the out-of-door folks

Were all crying-I think it was sprats!

I'M NOT A SINGLE MAN.

"Double, single, and the rub."

HOYLE.

"This, this is Solitude."- BYRON.

I.

WELL, I confess, I did not guess

A simple marriage vow
Would make me find all women-kind

Such unkind women now !

They need not, sure, as distant be

As Java or Japan,

Yet every Miss reminds me this

I'm not a single man !

II.

Once they made choice of my bass voice

To share in each duet ;

So well I danced, I somehow chanced

To stand in every set:

They now declare I cannot sing,

And dance on Bruin's plan;

Me draw

me paint!

I'm not a single man!

me any thing!

:

III.

Once I was asked advice, and tasked
What works to buy or not,

And "would I read that passage out
I so admired in Scott?"

They then could bear to hear one read;

But if I now began,

How they would snub, "My pretty page,"
I'm not a single man !

IV.

One used to stitch a collar then,

Another hemmed a frill;
I had more purses netted then
Than I could hope to fill.

I once could get a button on,
But now I never can

My buttons then were Bachelor's
I'm not a single man!
5

VOL. III.