BITTER REMEMBRANCES OF THE LOST.

195

I. They that by putting off repentance, and living in their sins, lose their souls, shall, instead of having the least measure of comfort when they come into hell, have their illspent life always very fresh in their remembrance. While they live here, they can sin and forget it; but when they depart, they shall have it before them; they shall have a remembrance, or their memory notably enlightened, and a clearer, and a continual sight of all their wicked practices that they wrought and did while they were in the world. "Son, remember," saith he. Then you will be made to remember. As if he had said,

1. Remember how thou wert born in sin, and brought up in the same.

2. Remember how thou hadst many a time the gospel preached to thee for taking away of the same, by him whom the gospel doth hold forth.

3. Remember, that out of love to thy sins and lusts, thou didst turn thy back on the tenders of the same gospel of good tidings and peace.

4. Remember that the reason why thou didst lose thy soul, was because thou didst not close in with free grace, and the tenders of a loving and free-hearted Jesus Christ.

5. Remember how near thou wast to turning at such and such a time; only thou wast willing to give way to thy lusts when they wrought, to drunkards when they called, to pleasures when they proffered themselves, to the cares and encumbrances of the world, which, like so many thorns, did choke that or those convictions that were set on thy heart.

6. Remember how willing thou wast to satisfy thyself with an hypocrite's hope, and with a notion of the things of God, without the real power and life of the same.

7. Remember how thou, when thou wast admonished to turn, didst put off turning and repenting till another time.

8. Remember how thou didst dissemble at such a time, lie at such a time, cheat thy neighbor at such a time, mock,

flout, scoff, taunt, hate, persecute the people of God at such a time, in such a place, among such company.

9. Remember, that while others were met together in the fear of the Lord to seek him, thou wast met with a company of vain companions to sin against him; while the saints were praying, thou wast cursing; while they were speaking good of the name of God, thou wast speaking evil of the saints of God. O then, thou shalt have a scalding hot remembrance of all thy sinful thoughts, words, and actions, from the very first to the last of them that ever thou didst commit, in all thy lifetime. Then thou wilt find that scripture to be a truth, Deut. xxviii. 65, 66, 67, "The Lord shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind: and thy life shall hang in doubt before thee, and thou shalt fear day and night, and shall have none assurance of thy life: in the morning thou shalt say, Would God it were even! and at even thou shalt say, Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see." Nay, thou shalt find worse things to thy woe than this scripture doth manifest. For indeed there is no tongue able to express the horror, terror, torment, and eternal misery, that those poor souls shall undergo, without the least mitigation or ease. A very great part of it shall come from that quick, full, and continual remembrance of their sins that they shall have; and therefore there is much weight in these words, "Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime hadst thy good things."

From these words you see this is to be observed, that the ungodly shall remember, or have in remembrance the misspending of their lives: "Remember that in thy lifetime thou hadst thy good things. You may take these words, "good things," either simply for the things of this world, which in themselves are called and may be called "good things;" or else with these words, namely, the things of

REMEMBRANCE OF LIFE MISSPENT.

197

this life; all the pleasures, delights, profits, and vanities, which the ignorant people of the world do count their good things, and do very much cheer themselves therewith. 'Soul, eat, drink, and be merry; for thou hast much goods laid up for many years.' Luke xii. 19. Now, I say, God, according to his glorious power and wisdom, will make poor creatures have always in their minds a fresh and clear remembrance of their ill-spent life. He will say unto them, Remember, remember, that in thy lifetime it was thus and thus with thee, and in thy lifetime thy carriage was SO and so.

If sinners might have their choice, they would not have their sins and transgressions so much in the remembrance, as is evident by their carriages here in this world: for they will not endure to entertain a serious thought of their filthy life; they put far away the evil day (Amos vi. 3; Ezek. xii. 27), and labor by all means to put the thoughts of it out of their mind; but there they shall be made to remember to purpose, and to think continually of their ungodly deeds. And therefore it is said, that when our Lord Jesus Christ comes to judgment, it will be to convince the ungodly world of their wicked and ungodly deeds; mark, to convince them. Jude 14, 15. They will not willingly take notice of them now; but then they shall, hereafter, in spite of their teeth; for those that die out of Christ, shall be made to see, acknowledge, and confess their guilt, do what they can, when they lift up their eyes in hell, and remember their transgressions. God will be a swift witness against them (Mal. iii. 5); and will say, Remember what thou didst in thy lifetime; how thou didst live in thy lifetime. Ha, friend! If thou dost not in these days of light remember the days of darkness, Eccles. xi. 8, (the days of death, hell, and judgment), thou shalt be made in the days of darkness, death, hell, and at the judgment too, to remember the days of the gospel, and how thou didst disregard them too, to thy

own destruction and everlasting misery. This is intimated in the 25th chapter of St. Matthew.

"Remember that in thy lifetime thou receivedst thy good things."

The great God, instead of giving the ungodly any ease, will even aggravate their torments. First, by slighting their perplexities, and by telling them what they must be thinking of. Remember, saith he, O ye lost souls, that you had your joy in your lifetime; your peace in your lifetime; your comforts, delights, ease, health, wealth—your heaven, your happiness, and your portion in your lifetime.

O miserable state! Thou wilt then be in a sad condition indeed, when thou shalt see that thou hast had thy good things, thy best things, thy pleasant things; for that is clearly signified by these words, "Remember that thou in thy lifetime hadst thy good things," or, all the good things that thou art likely to have. From whence take notice of another truth (though it be a dreadful one), which is this: There are many poor creatures who have all their good, sweet, and comfortable things, in this life, or while they are alive in this world: "Remember," saith he, "that in thy lifetime thou hadst thy good things."

The wicked's good things will shortly have an end; they will last no longer with them than this life, or their lifetime. Psalm xvii. 14. That scripture was not written in vain : "As the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of a fool: this also is vanity."Eccles. vii. 6. It is like the crackling of thorns under a pot-makes a little blaze for a sudden, a little heat for a while; but come and consider it by and by, and instead of a comfortable heat, you will find nothing but a few dead ashes; and instead of a flaming fire, nothing but a smell of smoke.

There is a time coming, that the ungodly would be glad of a better portion, when they shall see the vanity of this, that is, when they shall see what a poor thing it is, for a

WRETCHEDNESS OF THE SINNER'S PORTION.

199

man to have his portion in this world. It is true, while they are here on this side hell, they think there is nothing to be compared with riches, honors, and pleasures in this world; which makes them cry out, Who will show us any good? (Psalm iv. 7) that is, any comparable to the pleasures, profits, and glory of this world? But then they will see there is another thing that is better and of more value than ten thousand worlds. And seriously, friends, will it not grieve you, trouble, perplex, and torment you, when you shall see that you lost heaven for a little pleasure and profit in your lifetime? Certainly it will grieve you and perplex you exceedingly, to see what a blessed heaven you lost for a dunghill world. O! that you did but believe this! that you did but consider this, and say within yourselves, What! shall I be contented with my portion in this world! What! shall I lose heaven for this world! I say, consider it while you have day-light, and gospel light, while the Son of God doth hold out terms of reconciliation to you; lest you be made to hear such a voice as this is, "Son, remember, that in thy lifetime thou receivedst thy good things;" thy comforts, thy joys, thy ease, thy peace, and all the heaven thou art like to have. O poor heaven! O short pleasures! What a pitiful thing it is to be left in such a case! Soul, consider: Is it not miserable to lose heaven, for twenty, thirty, or forty years' sinning against God? When thy life is done, thy heaven is also done. When death comes to separate thy soul and body, in that day also thou must have thy heaven and happiness separated from thee, and thou from that. Consider these things betimes, lest thou have thy portion in thy lifetime. For if in this life only we have our portion, we are of all people the most miserable. 1 Cor. xv. 19. Again, consider, that when other men (the saints) are to receive their good things, then thou hast had thine! When others are to enter into joy, then thou art to leave and depart from thy joy! When others are to go to God thou must go the devil!