derstand its use." "Its use,” replied the shoe hastily-"you don't understand its use? Why, but for them we should stick into the first mud we went into."-" Yes, my dear friend," retorted the slipper, "but I never go into the mud."

BURKE was telling Garrick, one day at Hampton, that all bitter things were hot. "Aye," says Garrick, "what do you think, Mr. Burke, of bitter cold weather ?"

THE ROBBER.

A STORY, TRANSLATED FROM THE
FRENCH.

AN Archbishop of Canterbury, mak-
ing a tour into the country, stopped
at an inn for refreshment. Being at
the window, he observed at a dis-
tance, in a solitary wood, a well-
dressed man alone, talking and act-
ing a kind of part. The prelate's
curiosity was excited to know what
the stranger was about, and accord-
ingly sent some of his servants to
observe him, and bear what he was
rehearsing; but bringing him back
an answer that was not satisfactory,
his grace resolved to go himself.
He accordingly repaired alone to the
wood, addressed the stranger very
politely, and was answered with the
same civility. A conversation hav-
ing been once entered into, though
not without interruptions by an oc-
casional soliloquy, his grace asked
what he was about. "I am at play,"
he replied.
"At play!" said the
prelate," and with whom? You
are all alone.""I own," said he,
"sir, you don't perceive my antago
nist; but I am playing with God."
Playing with God!" (his lordship
thinking the man out of his mind.)
"This is a very extraordinary party:
and pray what game, sir, are you
playing ""At chess, sir." The
Archbishop smiled, but the man
seeming peaceable, he was willing to
amuse himself with a few more ques-
tions. "And do you play for any
thing, sir ?"-" Certainly."-" And
who wins?"-"Why, sir, at present
the advantage is on my side; the
game is just over; I have a fine,

་

stroke; check mate, there it is." "And pray, sir, how much have you won "Five hundred guineas." "That is a handsome sum, but how are you to be paid ?”—“I pay and receive in the like manner; he always sends me some good rich man when I win, and you, my lord, are the person. The Archbishop had received a considerable sum that very day, the stranger knew it, and producing a pistol by way of receipt, the prelate found himself under the necessity of giving up his cash, and by this time discovered the inspired gamester to be neither more nor less than a thief.

To

HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE!! SOME children at play in a new-mown field near Kensington-Gardens, horrid to relate, found the head of a female, with the skull split, the back part of it broken entirely off, and the nose cut away close to the face: the eyes were scooped out, and an iron spike was driven into the head; through the part where the neck had been amputated. add to the horror of this occurrence, the head being extremely small, the children brought it, as a matter of curiosity to show their parents. With a view to the discovery of the perpetrators of this deed, the circumstances were withheld from the neighbours for a time, when, in a lane adjoining the same field, the headless trunk was found extremely mutilated, the arms and thighs hav ing been cut off close to the body. The limbs could not be traced. hue-and-cry was now raised throughout the vicinity, where horror only kept pace with anxiety for a full investigation of all the circumstances. The result proved to be that some person, not having the fear of mischief before his eyes, had thus treated-A WOODEN DOLL!

A

ment with a seal fixed thereunto, by virtue whereof we may seize the outer tabernacle of George Green, and bring him before the lamb's-skin' meu of Westminster,and teach him to do as he would be done unto; and so I rest thy friend in the light, G. L.”

Domestic Auxiliary.

A POWDER TO TAKE OUT SPOTS. -Burn the bones of sheeps' feet, till they become white, beat them to fine powder, warm some of it, and lay it on the spot or stain till it begins to change. colour, then take it away and apply more, till the spots be gone.

ANOTHER. Take a piece of white bread hot from the oven, lay one piece above and the other underneath the silk, and it will draw out the oil or grease.

TO RECOVER THE COLOUR OF BLACK CLOTH WHEN DECAYED.Take figtree leaves, boil them well in water, wash your cloth in it, dry it in the sun, and it will be a much fairer black.

To PREVENT THE SMOKING OF LAMP OIL.-Steep your cotton in vinegar, dry it before you use it, and it will have the desired effect.

TO MAKE ICE IN SUMHER.---Take a large stone bottle that will hold three quarts, put in two ounces of refined saltpetre, half an ounce of Florence-orris, fill it up with boiling water, stop it close, and let it down into a well, leave it there two or three hours, then draw it up, break the bottle, and the ice will be found as hard and as good as that produced naturally.

CURE FOR MANGE IN DOGS.... Take large Millet and sweet turnip roots, which boil in cow's water, till it is like a broth, with which rub the dog.

Poetry.

THE ELK DEER'S GRAVE,

The peasantry of the Alps are peculiarly attached to their deer, and often have them tame about their huts. The following lines are founded on an anecdote current among them, to which they attribute their original fondness for the animal:--

Os Alpine heights there liv'd a maid,
As ancient stories tell,

Who far surpass'd each lowly maid-
In Maldo's flow'ry dell;

And she had long a milk-white deer,
Her second self was he;

For where you saw the milk-white deer
There too wou'd Jetta be.

And oft with blooming flow'rets wild,
She did its shoulders deck,
And fasten'd wreaths of vi'lets mild
Adown its spotless neck.

One day it left the peaceful cell,
And far far off did roam:
Ah! had it staid it had been well,
And kept its peaceful home.

For Godabert, fam'd Maldo's lord,
Whose nod was e'en its law,
Was hunting in the leafy wood,
And there the elk deer saw.

With list'ning sound the hunter crept, And as he stole along,

The white deer panting lay and wept, The blackbird ceas'd its song.

Then Godabert the strong bow took,
And drew the bow string wide;
The arrow flew across the brook,
And pierc'd its victim's side.

The blood adown its lily neck
In crimson streams did flow;
Its heart, alas! at death's rude beck
Beat faint and deadly slow.

Then with a bounding start it flew,
Its mistress kind to greet;
And panting, its last breath it drew
At lovely Jetta's feet.

And by the greenwood as you roam,

You see as well the elk deer's tomb, Where wild shrub branches wave, As Jetta's flow'ry grave,

I. F. W.

alighted on a very cold day at an inn where the author was, when taking out his handkerchief to wipe his nose, he pulled off the tip, like a piece of ice. The author says the company could with great difficulty prevent him from clapping a pistol to his head in a fit of despair, but they at last succeeded in persuading him that it was possible to be happy even without a

nose.

The English Traveller.

ROADS.

(Resumed from page 2.) EVERY inconvenience of this description the turnpike road was to cure. I know that, before 1755, there was no symptom of any thing like a turnpike between Winchester and Southampton, and that when it came to be set about, the improvement was as efficacious as it was incredible. A few months completely altered the face of the country. It was the old ground young. Every thing wore a new aspect; and those chalky bottoms about Winchester, which had been at times impassable, and those slippery declivities, through which travellers climbed with so much difficulty over St. Giles's and Magdalen hills, in the way to Alresford, soon wore the appearance of a sober and gradual ascent, scarcely perceptible to the traveller. The traces of early recollection,should the objects be worthy attention, are strengthened rather than obliterated by time; a public benefit, therefore, of such magnitude, achieved as it were by magic, had a forcible effect on my youthful imagination; and, as far as my maturer judgment has given me capacity to notice, it has always occurred to me that no undertaking was ever prosecuted with more public spirit, or fraught with more public advantage. The canals are another object of great national consequence; and, though they do not properly come under observation here, I cannot refrain from noticing how nobly they conduce to Our commercial opulence. Not a single reason can be given why the turnike roads throughout the kingdom should not be safe and pleasant; large sams are lavished for the purpose; expence may be cominanded adequate to

all emergencies; and this expence by law is levied on the public. Surveyors are required and enjoined to lay out all the monies collected, solely to repair the roads. Where a sufficient quantity of stone, gravel, chalk, or other materials cannot easily be obtained, they are commanded to contract for them; and if in this they have any private interest, they incur a penalty. They are obliged to furnish foot causeways; and, that the work may be properly accelerated, heaps of stones, rubbish, or other materials, are not to remain undispersed more than four days. Variety of other injunctions held out by this act, clearly shew that there cannot be a single excuse for neglect of this description, and no man in his senses will so far expose himself, as to offer a plea for such dishonesty and mismanagement. I am not to learn, nay, I am forward to allow, that spirited individuals go great lengths for public accommodation; but the money is subscribed; it gets into the hands of treasurers, and from thence takes so many collateral branches, that it is at length sifted like meal. By this means, abuses creep in, and what was intended in the beginning for a noble and useful uidertaking, degenerates into a job. Turnpikes are farmed out and commuted for. These are the loop-holes through which all the corruption insinuates itself. I have many worthy reasons to love and respect the inhabitants of Devonshire; but I shall ever execrate the roads in that county, at least those in the north, which are shamefully neglected; the injustice of which conduct I shall make sufficiently manifest, by instancing, that those in Cornwall, with less capability, are more safe and pleasant. The practicability of rendering roads easy and convenient, that were originally difficult and dangerous, is clearly proved by a description of those in Scotland, which, though formerly rugged and inaccessible, have, by a laudable spirit and indefatigable perseverance, become, I should apprehend, the best in Europe; nor are those in Cumberland and Westmoreland far behind hand. Is it not a shame then, that in almost the centre of England, in a country marked by industry and

opulence, where natural impediments do not exist, where the breed of cattle is so largely encouraged, where every acre of ground smiles with plenty and fertility, in Leicestershire and Northamptonshire, that roads are to be met with which are a national disgrace? I cannot resist such an opportunity of instancing a most glaring confirmation of this fact. I had occasion to travel from Huntingdon to Leicester, and I was informed that I might go by Stilton, Stamford, Oakham, and Uppingham, or St. Neot's and Higham Ferrers, both of which I knew to be bad roads. I therefore chose that which passes through Thrapstone, Kettering, and Harborough, and which was represented to me as the best of the three. I found it, however, the most dangerous I ever attempted. The worst parts of those in Cornwall, where, from the nature of the materials, the suddden declivities, the unexpected moulderings of the rocks, the undermined masses of large roots, and other obstructions, which it requires the utmost industry to surmount, would, in point of safety, shame these roads, where no national impediments occur. This remark applies to a part of the road between Thrapstone and Kettering, and the whole of that between Kettering and Harborough; the neglect of which is the more scandalous, because the road from Huntingdon to Thrapstone, where the materials are exactly the same, is perfectly safe and pleasant. The danger from this abominable road is the prodigious depth of the ruts; and in the midst of your apprehensions you are called upon for a toll; and, though you are informed that the road will be worse as you get on, there is a pompous display of the only terms on which you are permitted to pass. Thus was I compelled either to risk my neck, or walk five miles (indeed, it was every where dangerous), over a road the caricatureof ploughed ground, and all this to accommodate a set of men who undertake a public office, and neither fulfil the trust themselves nor suffer others to do it for them. As I passed through the gate, I told the woman, with an appearance of

gravity and earnestness, that I would certainly indict the road, to which she answered, with an air of perfect simplicity, "I wish to God you would, sir, and then I might stand a chance of saving up my rent."-(Concluded on page 18.)

IN NS. (Resumed from page 3.) AT Matlock I had trout brought be fore me completely tainted, though, with five minutes trouble, they might have procured them fresh out of the water. This circumstance so possessed me, that, when I dined at Boness, in Westmoreland, and was told that we might either have trout or char, I very roundly interrogated the woman as to their being fresh. "Fresh," said she, with great simplicity, "it's loikely, I dinna knaw; they binna caught yet." I don't know how I came to ask the question, for I always found representation and remonstrance of no other avail than to add insolence to imposition, and upon that account, I have since paid the bill without manifesting any objection, upon the principle of the man, who said he made a point of never affronting a highwayman or a barber, for one held a pistol to his head, and the other a razor to his throat. I never refused to pay a single item in a bill of this description but once. I have submitted to sit in filth, to wait till I have been sick, and at last to get nothing eatable at an inn at Fareham (the apology for an alehouse at Wapping), at the same expence for which I had the day before been lodged handsomely, attended diligently, and served plentifully, at the George, at Winchester. I have paid sixpence a mile for post horses more than the customary charge; and, indeed, I could mention a hundred more impositions of a similar complexion which I have quietly suffered. I know not, therefore, how I came to be moved to resistance in the instance I allude to; but I believe it was owing to the complexion of the bill, which I had, as I run my eye over it, remarked in every circumstance to have been most shamefully overrated. The article I mean was.