JOAN cudgels N ED.

Written in the Year 1723.

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OAN cudgels Ned, yet Ned's a Bully:

Will cudgels Bess, yet Will's a Cully. Dye Ned and Bess; give Will to Joan, She dares not say, her Life's her own. Dye Joan and Will; give Bess to Ned, And ev'ry Day she combs bis Head.

STELLA at Wood-Park,
A House of CHARLES FORD, Efq; eight

Miles from Dublin.

Cuicunque nocere volebat
Vestimenta dabat pretiosa.

Written in the Year 1723.

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ON Carlos in a merry Spight,

Did Stella to his House invite:
He entertain'd her half a Year
With gen'rous Wines, and coftly Chear,

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Don Carlos made her chief Director,
That she might o'er the Servants hector,
In half a Week the Dame grew nice,
Got all things at the highest Price.
Now at the Table-Head she fits,
Presented with the nicest Bits :
She look'd on Partridges with Scorn,
Except they tasted of the Corn:
A Haunch of Ven'son made her sweat,
Unless it had the right Fumette.
Don Carlos earnestly would beg,
Dear Madam, try this Pigeon's Leg;
Was happy when he could prevail
To make her only touch a Quail.
Through Candle-Light she view'd the Wine,
To see that ev'ry Glass was fine.
At last grown prouder than the D-
With feeding high, and Treatment civil,
Don Carlos now began to find
His Malice work as he designd;
The Winter-Sky began to frown,
Poor Stella muft pack off to Town.
From purling Streams and Fountains bubbling,
To * Liffy's stinking Tide in Dublin :
From wholesome Exercise and Air
To fossing in an easy Chair ;
From Stomach sharp and hearty feeding,
To piddle like a Lady breeding :


The River that runs through Dublin,

From ruling there the Houshold fingly,
To be directed here by * Dingly :
From ev'ry Day a lordly Banquet,
To half a Joint, and God be thank it:
From ev'ry Meal Pontack in Plenty,
To half a Pint one Day in Twenty.
From Ford attending at her Call,
To Visits of Archdeacon Wall.
From Ford, who thinks of nothing mean,
To the poor Doings of the D-n.
From growing Richer with good Chear,
To running out by starving here.

But now arrives the dismal Day :
She must return to + Ormond-Key:
The Coachman stopt, she lookt, and swore
The Rascal had mistook the Door:
At coming in you saw her stoop;
The Entry brusht against her Hoop:
Each Moment rising in her Airs,
She curft the narrow winding Stairs :
Began a Thousand Faults to spy ;
The Cieling hardly fix Foot high ;
The smutty Wainscot full of Cracks,
And half the Chairs with broken Backs:
Her Quarter's out at Lady-Day,
She vows she will no longer stay,


* A Lady. The two Ladies lodged together. A Where both the Ladies lodged.

In Lodgings, like a poor Grizette,
While there are Lodgings to be lett.

Howe’ER, to keep her Spirits up,
She sent for Company to sup;
When all the while you might remark,
She strove in vain to ape Wood-Park,
Two Bottles call'd for, (half her Store;
The Cupboard could contain but four;)
Ą Supper worthy of her self,
Five Nothings in five Plates of Delph.

Thus, for a Week the Farce went on ;
When all her Country-Savings gone:
She fell into her former Scene,
Small Beer, a Herring, and the D-n.

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Thus far in jest. Though, now I fear,
You think my Jefting too severe :
But Poets when a Hint is new
Regard not whether false or true;
Yer Raillery gives no Offence,
Where Truth has not the least Pretence ;
Nor can be more securely plac't
Than on a Nymph of Stella's Taste.
I must confess, your Wine and Vittle
I was too hard upon a little ;
Your Table neat, your Linnen fine ;
And, though in Miniature, you shine,


Yet, when you sigh to leave Wood-Park,
The Scene, the Welcome, and the Spark,
To languish in this odious Town,
And pull your haughty Stomach down;
We think you quite mistake the Cafe ;
The Virtue lies not in the Place:
For though my Raillery were true,
A Cottage is Wood-Park with


The Part of a Summer, at the House

of George Rochfort, Esq;

Written in the Year 1723.

THALIA, tell in fober Lays,

How George, Nim, Dan, Dean, pass their Days.

BEGIN, my Muse. First, from our Bow'rs
We fally forth at diff'rent Hours ;
At Seven, the Dean in Night-gown drest,
Goes round the House to wake the rest :
At Nine, grave Nim, and George facetious,
Go to the Dean to read Lucretius :
At Ten, my Lady comes and hectors,
And kisses George, and ends our Lectures;
And when she has him by the Neck fast,
Hauls him, and scolds us, down to Breakfast.


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