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And forty others I could name
must know this Dog was lame.
Tory, A weighty Argument indeed ; Your Evidence was lame. Proceed : Come, help your lame Dog o'er the Stile.
Wbig. Sir, you mistake me all this while :
Tory. I'm still to seek, which Dog you mean ;
Whig. Besides, this horrid Plot was found By Neyno, after he was drown'd.
Tory. Why then the Proverb is not right, Since
you can teach dead Dogs to bite.
Whig. I prov'd my Proposition full ;
Tory. Then all this while have I been bubbled ; I thought it was a Dog in Doublet : The Matter now no longer sticks; For Statesmen never want Dog-tricks. But, since it was a real Curr, And not a Dog in Metaphor,
I give you Joy of the Report,
Whig. Yes, and a Place he will grow rich in, A Turn-spit in the Kitchen. Sir, to be plain, I tell you what ; We had Occasion for a Plot And, when we found the Dog begin it, We guess'd the Bishop's Foot was in it.
Tory, I own it was a dang’rous Project ;
have prov'd it by Dog-Logick.
MARY the Cook-Maid's Letter to
Written in the Year 1723.
ELL; if ever I saw such another Man
since my Mother bound my Head, You a Gentleman! marry come up, I wonder where you were bred?
I am sure such Words does not become a Man of
I would not give such Language to a Dog, faith
Sheridan, 'tis a Shame
come out with such a Name.
Shame and a Sin,
than you and all your Kin:
you have in your whole Body, My Master is a parsonable Man, and not a spindle
four Years since Otober,
drunk or sober : Not that I know his Reverence was ever concern'd
to my Knowledge, Tho' you and your Come-rogues keep him out fo
late in your wicked College.
You say you will eat Grass on his Grave; a Chri
ftian eat Grass! Whereby you now confess your self to be a Goose
or an Ass : But that's as much as to say, that my Master should
die before ye ; Well, well, that's as God pleases, and I don't be
lieve that's a true Story, And so say I told you so; and you may go
niy Master ; what care I? And I don't care who knows it, 'tis all one to
Mary. Every Body knows, that I love to tell Truth, and
shame the Devil ; I am but a poor Servant, but I think gentle Folks
should be more civil. Besides, you found Fault with our Vittles one Day
that you was here, I remember it was upon a Tuesday, of all Days in
the Year. And Saunders the Man fays, you are always jefting
and mocking, Mary, said he, (one Day, as I was mending my
Master's Stocking,) My Master is so fond of that Minifter, that keeps
the School ; I thought my Master a wise Man, but that Man
makes him a Fool.