So, because I had been buying Things for my Lady

laft Night,

I was refolv'd to tell my Money, to fee if it was right.

Now you must know, because my Trunk has a very bad Lock,

Therefore all the Money I have, (which, GoD knows, is a very small Stock,)

I keep in my Pocket, ty'd about my Middle, next my Smock.

So, when I went to put up my Purse, as GoD would have it, my Smock was unript

And instead of putting it into my Pocket, down it flipt:

Then the Bell rung, and I went down to put my Lady to Bed;

And, God knows, I thought my Money was as fafe as my Maidenhead.

So, when I came up again, I found my Pocket feel very light,

But when I fearch'd, and miss'd my Purse, Lord!
I thought, I should have funk outright:
Lord! Madam, fays Mary, how d'ye do? Indeed,
faid I, never worse :

But pray, Mary, can you tell what I have done with my Purfe!

Lord help me, faid Mary, I never ftirr'd out of

this Place:

Nay, faid I, I had it in Lady Betty's Chamber,

that's a plain Cafe.

So,

So, Mary got me to Bed, and cover'd me up warm; However, she stole away my Garters, that I might do my felf no Harm.

So, I tumbled and tofs'd all Night, as you may very well think;

But hardly ever fet my Eyes together, or slept a Wink.

So, I was a-dream'd, methought, that we went and search'd the Folks round;

And in a Corner of Mrs. Duke's Box, ty'd in a Rag, the Money was found.

So, next Morning we told * Whittle, and he fell a swearing;

Then my Dame + Wadgar came, and fhe, you know, is thick of Hearing:

Dame, faid I, as loud as I could bawl, do you know what a Lofs I have had?

Nay, faid fhe, my Lord | Collway's Folks are all very fad;

For my Lord § Dromedary comes a Tuesday without fail ;

Pugh! faid I, but that's not the Business that I ail. Says** Cary, fays he, I have been a Servant this Five and Twenty Years, come Spring;

And in all the Places I liv'd, I never heard of such a Thing.

B 2

Yes,

* Earl of BERKELEY'S Valet.

The old deaf House

Keeper.

Primate were to fucceed the two Earls.

GALWAY. $ DROGHEDA, who with the ** Clerk of the

Kitchen.

Yes, fays the Steward, I remember, when I was at my Lady Shrewsbury's,

Such a Thing as this happen'd, just about the Time of Gooseberries.

So I went to the Party suspected, and I found her full of Grief;

(Now you must know, of all Things in the World, I hate a Thief.)

However, I was refolv'd to bring the Discourse flily about;

Mrs. * Dukes, faid I, here's an ugly Accident has happen'd out:

'Tis not that I value the Money † three Skips of a Loufe;

But the Thing I ftand upon is, the Credit of the House:

'Tis true, Seven Pounds, Four Shillings, and Six Pence, makes a great Hole in my Wages; Befides, as they fay, Service is no Inheritance in thefe Ages.

Now, Mrs. Dukes, you know, and every Body understands,

That tho' 'tis hard to judge, yet Money can't go without Hands.

The Devil take me, faid fhe, (bleffing her felf,) if ever I faw't!

So the roar'd like a Bedlam, as thof I had call'd her all to naught

*A Servant, one of the Foct.nen's Wives.

An ufual Saying of hers.

So

So

you know, what could I fay to her any more?

I e'en left her, and came away as wife as I was before.

Well: But then they would have had me gone to the Cunning-Man:

No, faid I, 'tis the fame Thing, the Chaplain will

be here anon.

So the Chaplain came in. Now the Servants say he is my Sweet-heart,

Because he's always in my Chamber, and I always take his Part;

So, as the Devil would have it, before I was aware,
out I blunder'd,

Parfon, faid I, can you cast a Nativity, when a
Body's plunder'd?

(Now you must know, he hates to be call'd Parfon
like the Devil.)

Truly, fays he, Mrs. Nab, it might become you to be more civil:

If your Money be gone, as a learned Divine fays, d'ye fee,

You are no Text for my handling, so take that from me:

I was never taken for a Conjurer before, I'd have you to know:

Lord, faid I, don't be angry, I am fure I never
thought you fo:

You know, I honour the Cloth; I defign to be a
Parfon's Wife;

I never took one in your Coat for a Conjurer in all
my Life.

With that, he twisted his Girdle at me like a Rope; as who should say,

Now you may go hang your felf for me; and for

went away.

Well, I thought, I fhould have fwoon'd: Lord, faid I, what shall I do?

I have loft my Money; and I fhall lose my Truelove too.

So, my Lord call'd me; *Harry, faid my Lord,

don't cry,

I'll give fomething towards thy Lofs: And fays my Lady, fo will I,

Oh! but faid I; what if after all, the Chaplain won't come to?

For that, he faid, (an't please your Excellencies,) I muft petition You.

THE Premiffes tenderly confider'd, I defire your Excellencies Protection:

And that I may have a Share in next Sunday's Collection :

And over and above, that I may have your Excellencies Letter,

With an Order for the Chaplain aforefaid; or inftead of him a better.

And then your poor Petitioner, both Night and Day, Or the Chaplain (for 'tis his Trade,) as in Duty bound, fhall ever pray.

A Cant Word of my Lord and Lady to Mrs. HARRIS.

Lady