holy world with all my heart. A great work remains to be accomplished before I can say, "I am ready to be offered." November 15. Visited a lady who is near the end of her course. Her soul is in a most heavenly frame. Her chamber seems a nook of heaven its very atmosphere celestial. Would I could take my congregation into such a scene, and show them the believer's joy in prospect of death. November 18. Visited the same lady again, and had another hour's sweet communion with her almost beatified spirit. Her husband has here found sweet peace in believing. The interview was truly refreshing. She says she can now die with increased felicity. Her companion she hopes to meet in glory. November 19. Had some intense longings that the sermons I am preparing for to-morrow may be blessed. I have labored carefully to speak on death in sin and Christ our life. Wilt thou, O Lord, render them effectual? Help thou my unbelief. November 21. Twenty years this day my dear father entered into rest. Blessed thought! rest an eternity of rest- eternally with God. Who would not labor and suffer here a few years patiently, with the prospect before him of eternal joy! Feel exhilaration to-day. However, it is not spiritual — it is owing to the society of endeared friends. The pleasures of religious company are great, exquisite. They will be perfect in heaven. November 28. Was told that a lady inquired of one of my family if I am as much devoted at home as in the pulpit. Important question. Does my life correspond with my preaching? Am I a consistent minister? a consistent Christian? Lord, forgive my failures. December 24. Had some enjoyment to-day in preparing a sermon to be addressed to the children of pious parents. Feelings of peculiar tenderness have been awakened by a recollection of the instructions, the examples, and prayers of my own dear parents. I could not forbear bowing more than once before God in gratitude for such parents. How much, under God, do I owe them for their fidelity to me when young! Under other circumstances what should I have been? My heart is full. Bless, O God, my dear mother. Let her days be many, and her joys as numerous as her days. May she and my beloved father meet all their children in the mansions of eternal rest. Whether I shall be able to preach this sermon with affection and faith is yet to be seen. I pray for grace to honor God, and do good. A few individuals have recently professed to be the subjects of grace, who refer to my sermons as having awakened or comforted them. The fact is encouraging; but I am ashamed of myself when I think how ungrateful I am for such favors. I pray God to give me souls for my hire, and when he gives them I fail to realize his goodness, or acknowl edge the benefit. Wretch that I am, I overlook answers to prayer because the persons converted are not those for whose salvation I have special desires. They are converted one by one, and not scores, as my pride desires. How humbled ought I to be before God! When I look at the evils of my own heart, the imperfection of my motives, my prayers, my preaching, my whole efforts, I cannot wonder God withholds large blessings. Yet, after all deductions for selfishness, I trust I have some sincere, disinterested desires for the salvation of my dear people. I have had some enlargement to-day, and this evening, in prayer for them. I long to see the arm of the Lord made bare, and stretched out for the destruction of Satan's dominion. I long to see this church roused and quickened. I long for a descent of the Holy Spirit, producing a spirit of repentance, of confession, of forgiveness, brotherly love, prayer, faith, zealous individual effort. When shall this thing be? IDEALS OF THE MINISTRY AND THE CHURCH. 111 CHAPTER IX. THE EARNEST WORKER. THE GREAT REVIVAL OF 1838. GATHERING IN THE MISSIONARY KNOWLES. DISCOURSE. - DEATH 1837. We shall find that part in the spiritual THE year upon which we now enter presents but little variety in the outward life of Mr. Stow. there is no diminution of interest on his welfare of his church and congregation. Habit does not blunt his sensibilities, neither does it lead him to go through with his duties in a sort of perfunctory way, satisfied if he performs them to the general satisfaction of his congregation. Every year his ideal of the true minister of Christ becomes more lofty, and he groans in spirit because he falls so far short of reaching it. And, too, his conception of what a church of Christ ought to be, and, as he thinks, might be if it is properly trained, becomes more intelligent and spiritual; and, in his view, there is on earth no such society as a church of the Lord Jesus, formed after the model in his mind, such as he believes the New Testament, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, holds up to our view. With these high ideals of ministerial and church life, we do not wonder if sometimes his.rt is pained as he reaches the conclusions to which he is bought by self-examination, and his observation of the chu as he finds it in his actual contact with it. If his own soni rns with the fire of earnest longings for the reviving of 's work, he is grieved if the flame does not spread he hearts of his church are a glow with a zeal like un his own. If anxiety for the conversion of men follows him to a sleepless couch, and he cannot shake off the burden, he wonders that they, for whom he bears these heavy burdens, are apparently so careless about their own condition and prospects. Men of cooler temperament and less ardent susceptibilities may be disposed to chide him, that he took on his heart the load which he carried, and to say, that with a firmer trust in the providence and spirit of God, he ought to have done his duty, and left results with a higher power. But he was so constituted that this was an impossibility. He never was satisfied that he had done all the duty which devolved on him, and which was in some sense the established condition of success in his work. "When Zion travails, she shall bring forth sons." Anxious as he was to see those "new births," without which our Lord declared there could be no entrance into the kingdom of God, he saw, oftentimes, very little in the spiritual condition of the church that warranted him to expect any of these "new births." That his ministry was a very successful one, no one can deny. ed that one secret of this success is to be found in his quick sympathies, his tender solicitude, and his unwearied endeavors to raise the tone of religious feeling, both in his own heart and in the hearts of the members of his church? Can it be doubt January 6, 1837. Why do I desire the conversion of sinners? There are three motives, either of which may influence me: 66 99.66 1. Love of approbation. A successful minister gains credit, at least among religious people. He has the name of being "very pious,' very faithful," &c., and this becomes as much a snare to him as if he had the name of being "very learned" or very eloquent." If his labors are blessed, he is in reputation with his people, and throughout the religious community generally, and his aid is sought abroad on important occasions. It is one mode of becoming popular. 2. Benevolence - a desire for the happiness of others. Religion makes men happy. A benevolent heart, even though not itself religious, may desire others to possess piety as the means of happiness. 3. Love to God a desire that God may be glorified in the repentance and return of his rebellious creatures to himself. -- Now, which of these motives is mine? I am snre I desire the conversion of sinners. Why do I? I see a mixture of motives. After the most careful examination, I can say that I desire the glory of God; I desire to see his Son honored with a rich triumph. Whatever becomes of me, let God be glorified. I also desire the happiness of my fellow-men, and I fear the other motive too often intrudes itself. I fear I am selfish in many of my efforts. Yet I think I rejoice in the conversion of sinners, even though my own instrumentality be not acknowledged, and the converts join other churches. I have a vile heart, but my prayer is, that it may be sanctifed. Father, glorify thyself." 66 66 February 2. Finished reading the Life of Samuel Kilpin, a Baptist minister, late of Exeter, England. He was a very holy and useful man. A man of much prayer and much action, he brought much to pass. How little am I like him in faith, self-denial, and industry! How few there are that exhibit such piety! I look about upon the ministers of my acquaintance, and see but few who can be called spirituallyminded. I hear very little spiritual praying or preaching, and still less spiritual conversation. Truly there is something wrong in ministers, and we must ourselves repent and turn to God before we can expect to see refreshing works of grace among our people. "He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed," &c. We do not weep as we sow the seed. Our hearts are not enough in the work. I fear we are too much seeking our own things rather than those of Jesus Christ. I am satisfied the ministry is not what it should be. I am far from being a good minister of Jesus Christ." I ought to be immensely better. February 19, Sabbath day. Preached this morning on an exchange with Mr. Taylor at the Bethel, North Square. Made wretched work; my soul was dry and senseless. In the afternoon God smote the rock, and the waters gushed forth. My subject, founded on Proverbs vi. 6, was, "The importance of providing in season for future necessities." I could hardly realize I was the same being who had labored so hard to preach in the morning. My desire was intense for the conversion of my dear people. I fear I do not cultivate enough tenderness as essential to an effective manner. How altered are my views of preaching! I once thought the severe, denunciatory, dare-devil style and manner were those which would do the most good. I had a preference for the awful, and dwelt thereon too much. Possibly I may still have too much of it in my sermons, but my feelings and views are certainly changed. Now I see a man may be faithful, and yet affectionate. Everything should be baptized in love. O that I might conform my preaching to this truth! February 24. Heard of a member of the church -one baptized by myself - who had left the meeting because of my "close preaching." Now and then I hear that my preaching is too close; but I can learn |