I will nab this gay young sorter, terrify him into fits,
And get my gentle wife to chop him into little bits.

"I've studied human nature, and I know a thing or two:
Though a girl may fondly love a living gent, as many do—
A feeling of disgust upon her senses there will fall
When she looks upon his body chopped particularly small.”
He traced that gallant sorter to a still suburban square;
He watched his opportunity, and seized him unaware;
He took a life-preserver and he hit him on the head,
And Mrs. Brown dissected him before she went to bed.
And pretty little Alice grew more settled in her mind;
She never more was guilty of a weakness of the kind;
Until at length good Robber Brown bestowed her pretty hand
On the promising young robber, the lieutenant of his band.

Behold, on every afternoon

(Save in a gale or strong monsoon)
Great Captain Capel Cleggs
(Great morally, though rather short)
Sat at an open weather-port
And aired his shapely legs.

And mermaids hung around in flocks,
On cable chains and distant rocks,
To gaze upon those limbs;

For legs like those, of flesh and bone,
Are things "not generally known"

To any merman timbs.

But mermen didn't seem to care
Much time (as far as I'm aware)
With Cleggs's legs to spend;
Though mermaids swam around all day
And gazed, exclaiming, "That's the way
A gentleman should end!

་
"A pair of legs with well-cut knees,
And calves and ankles such as these
Which we in rapture hail,
Are far more eloquent, it's clear
(When clothed in silk and kerseymere),
Than any nasty tail."

And Cleggsa worthy, kind old boy-
Rejoiced to add to others' joy,

And when the day was dry,

Because it pleased the lookers-on,

He sat from morn till night-though con-
Stitutionally shy.

At first the mermen laughed, "Pooh! pooh!" But finally they jealous grew,

And sounded loud recalls;

But vainly. So these fishy males

Declared they too would clothe their tails
In silken hose and smalls.

A judge of mermaids, he will find
Our lady fish of every kind
Inspection will repay."

Good Capel sent a kind reply,
For Capel thought he could descry
An admirable plan

To study all their ways and laws-
(But not their lady fish, because

He was a married man).

The merman sank- the captain too Jumped overboard, and dropped from view Like stone from catapult;

And when he reached the merman's lair, He certainly was welcomed there,

But ah! with what result!

They didn't let him learn their law,
Or make a note of what he saw,

Or interesting mem.;

The lady fish he couldn't find,

But that, of course, he didn't mind

He didn't come for them.

For though when Captain Capel sank,
The mermen drawn in double rank

Gave him a hearty hail,

Yet when secure of Captain Cleggs,
They cut off both his lovely legs,

And gave him such a tail!

When Captain Cleggs returned aboard,
His blithesome crew convulsive roar'd,

To see him altered so.

The admiralty did insist
That he upon the half-pay list
Immediately should go.

In vain declared the poor old salt,
"It's my misfortune- not my fault,"
With tear and trembling lip

In vain poor Capel begged and begged.
"A man must be completely legged
Who rules a British ship."

So spake the stern First Lord aloud, —
He was a wag, though very proud,—
And much rejoiced to say,
"You're only half a captain now
And so, my worthy friend, I vow
You'll only get half-pay!"

All the above selections are made from Fifty Bab Ballads.'

RICHARD WATSON GILDER

(1844-)

ICHARD WATSON GILDER is the son of a clergyman, the Rev. William H. Gilder, who published two literary reviews in Philadelphia. He was born in Bordentown, New Jersey, February 8th, 1844, and with such ancestry and home influence came easily to journalism and literary work. He got his schooling in the Bellevue Seminary, which was founded by his father. As with so many young Americans of the time, the war came to interrupt his studies; and in 1863 he served in the "Emergency Corps," in the defense of Carlisle, Pennsylvania. Mr. Gilder is one of the American writers who have successfully combined journalism and literature. He began by doing newspaper work, and then by a natural transition became in 1869 editor of Hours at Home, and shortly thereafter associate editor of Scribner's Magazine with Dr. J. G. Holland. This representative monthly was changed. in name to The Century, and upon the death of Dr. Holland in 1881 Mr. Gilder became its editor-in-chief. His influence in this conspicuous position has been wholesome and helpful in the encouraging of literature, and in the discussion of current questions of importance through a popular medium which reaches great. numbers of the American people. The Century under his direction has been receptive to young writers and artists of ability, and many since known to fame made their maiden appearance in its pages.

RICHARD W. GILDER

In addition to his influence on the literary movement, Mr. Gilder has been active in philanthropic and political work. He has secured legislation for the improvement of tenements in cities; he has taken interest in the formation of public kindergartens; and given of his time and strength to further other reforms. His influence in New York City, too, has been a factor in developing the social aspects of literary and art life there. From Dickinson College he has received the degree of LL. D., and from Princeton that of L. H. D.

Mr. Gilder's reputation as a writer is based upon his verse. Only very occasionally does he publish an essay, though thoughtful, strongly written editorials from his pen in his magazine are frequent.