A DIALOGUE BETWEEN A CITY GENTLEMAN OF THE TON, AND A COUNTRY FARMER.

Gentleman. HALLOO! there, Master! What have you got in your wallet?

Farmer. Fowls, Sir, at your service.

Gent. And what do you ask a pair ?

Farm. Fifty cents a pair for ducks, and seventyfive cents a piece for geese and turkeys.

Gent. What is the fellow talking about? I inquired the price of fowls; not of geese and turkeys.

Farm. And pray, Mister, what is the difference between a fowl and a goose? My bible teaches me that all the feathered tribe are ranged under the general name of fowl.

Gent. Why, you numskull! don't quote scripture to me, to prove such palpable absurdities. I can teach you, that a goose, or turkey, is no more like a fowl, than a human being is like one of the animal creation!

Farm. I crave your pardon, Mister. I begin to see that I never was larn'd the right use of language; for, since I come among these fine gentlefolks, I don't understand one half that's said to me.

Gent. So it seems. However, you have now entered a good school to learn civilization. What I wanted, was, a pair of those creatchures that lay eggs, wulgarly called hens.

Farm. Why, begging your pardon, Sir, and hoping no offence, I should suppose, that, at least, one of the sorts I have in my wallet lays eggs, from the mul'titude of goslins I see about your streets.

Gent. Why, you fool; where were you bred? I should imagine you came fifty miles off, where they tell me the people are almost savages; and that you were never in market before.

Farm. It is true, I live more than fifty miles off, and never was in this great city before; and in fact, I

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begin to think I never shall desire to be again; for Ì have hitherto met with pretty rough handling, I assure

you.

Gent. No wonder that such ignorance should expose you to insults. A man like you, who has been brung up among savages, and not able to speak intelligibly, must expect to receive severe discipline, when he first visits a land of civilization.

Farm. I begin to see what a sad thing it is, especially in such a place as this, to be so destitute as I am of the right kind of larning. I confess, that, so far from civilization, I have never received but little more than christianization. But I should think, even that ought to entitle an honest, well-meaning man to better treatment than I have met with this morning. Gent. You nave no right to complain. Such a blundering blockhead as you are ought to think himself fortchunate, if he is suffered to pass the streets without having his head broke.

Farm. Indeed, I have hardly escaped that. I have been accosted a hundred and fifty times since I entered the big town, by all sorts and sizes of folks, both male and female. Which, at first, indeed, appeared civil enough; for not a child in the street but what master'd me, as mannerly as though I had teach'd school all my days. But whenever I approached them, it was old daddy, old man, old fellow, and so on; rising by degrees to such genteel language as your Worship seems to be master of. I hope no offence, Sir. The first time I had the honor to be noticed, a fine gentlewoman called to me from her window. So I civilly entered her door; when she squalled out "You filthy brute! Have you the impudence to come in at my front door?" Did you not call me, madam? replied I. Yes, truly, says she; but I thought you had more civilization, than to set your ugly, square-toed shoes upon my carpet. I craved her ladyship's pardon; told her I hoped I should learn civilization from such good example; and got off as well as I could.

Gent.

Gent. It is evident you know nothing of the world. Farm. How should I, since I live a hundred miles off, and never read scarcely any thing but my bible and psalm book?

Gent. Aye, sure enough. You are much to be pitied. Why, according to the rules of civilization, you offended the lady insufferably.

Farm. So I preceive; though, at first, I could not conceive, for the life of me, what harm there could be in entering the front door, since there was no other in the house; nor how my shoes could give offence, inasmuch as they were perfectly clean.

Gent. Why, did you not just acknowledge they were unfashionable?

Farm. Aye, right. And mayhap she discovered the nails in the heels; though I could have assured her they would not scratch; for they were well drove, and the heads smooth. Well, as I was saying, soon after I escaped from her ladyship's civilities, I was stopped by a 'Squire-looking gentleman, whose palate was set for the same dainty that yours was, fowls. I told him I had as fine ones as ever were hatched. So I shewed him the whole contents of my wallet; when, after examining it critically, he exclaimed, "You insulting puppy! I have a mind in my conscience to cane you. What, sarrah! tell me you have fowls to sell, when you have nothing but a parcel of poultry!" So, giving me a kick or two, he tells me to go and learn civilization.

Gent. And served you right enough too.

Farm. So as I proceeded peaceably through the street, I met a stripling, in his soldier's coat, making the same use of his sword as I did of my staff. Having a heavy load, and tripping my foot a little, I unfortunately jostled this beardless hero. "What do you mean, you dirty scoundrel!" he instantly exclaimed; lifting up his sword at the same time., "Have you no more civilization than to treat an officer of the such a rude manner?" I beg pardon, says I.

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It was purely

purely an accident. If you were not beneath my notice, says he, swearing a big oath, which I dare not repeat; if you were not beneath the notice of a gentleman, I say, I would soon lay you upon your beam ends, you fresh water lobster! You are as destitute of civilization, as if you had never been out of sight of land in all your life.

Gent. You will learn in time to keep at a respectful distance from gentlemen of the sword. It is fortchunate for you, that the officer did not make daylight shine through you.

Farm. I believe it dangerous, I confess, to venture very near gentlemen, if these may be called such. Well, the next person I met, I took, from his brogue, to be a "wild Irishman." At any rate, he was a funny fellow, and discovered some marks of civilization. Maister, says he, have you any wery good weal in your vallet? I do not understand Irish, Mister, replied 1. Irish Irish old mutton-head, said he; nor I neither. It is enough for me, that I am able to speak good English. I ax'd you what you had to sell. I am fitting out a wessel for Wenice; loading her with warious keinds of prowisions, and wittualling her for a long woyage; and I want several undred weight of weal, wenison, &c. with a plenty of inyons and winegar, for the preserwation of ealth. I assured him I did not comprehend his meaning. It is wery natchural, replied he, to suppose it, as you are but a poor countryman and want civilization. So he peaceably withdrew. And now, good Mister, ('Squire, haps I ought to say; for, before you stopped me, I heard you administering oaths ;) I say good 'Squire, as you have condescended to give me some useful instruction, pray be so kind as to tell me, to what species of animals a creature would belong, which should be, in every respect, exactly like yourself, excepting the addition of a pair of long ears?

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Gent. I will not disgrace myself by keeping your company any longer. [Exit.]

Farm.

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Farm. [alone.] What a strange run of luck I have had to-day! If this is civilization, I desire to return to my savage haunt again. However, I don't despair yet of meeting with people of real civilization; for I have always been told that this place is not without its share. Yet I fear they have greatly degenerated from the simple manners of their forefathers. Their placing mere civility above Christianity is a plain proof of it. The ancestors of this people were anxious mainly to teach their posterity Christianity, not doubting but civility would naturally attend it. What vexes me most is, that I can't understand their language. For my part, I think they have but little reason to laugh at my pronounciation. This is the first time I ever haird that turkies, geese, and ducks were not fowls. They might as well tell me, that oxen, bulls, and cows are not cattle. I take this last chap to be of the race of coxcombs; and I think it sometimes best, to indulge them in their own exalted opinion of themselves, till experience teaches them their folly. I know I am but a plain man; and no one feels the want of larning more than I do. But I am certain I cannot appear more contemptible in this coxcomb's eyes, than he does in mine.

EXTRACT FROM A DISCOURSE

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DELIVERED

BEFORE THE NEW-YORK SOCIETY FOR PROMOTING THE MANUMISSION OF SLAVES, APRIL 12, 1797. By RE SAMUEL MILLER.

HAVE hitherto confined myself to the consideration of slavery as it exists among ourselves, and of that unjust domination which is exercised over the Africans and their descendants, who are already in our country. It is with regret and indignation which I am unable to express, that I call your attention to the conduct of some among us, who, instead of diminishing, strive to increase the evil in question.