The hundred clerks that live along the street,
Bondsmen to mercantile and city schemers,
With squashing, sloshing, and galloshing feet,

Go paddling, paddling, through the wet, like steamers,
Each hurrying to earn the daily stipend-
Umbrellas pass of every shade of green,

And now and then a crimson one is seen.
Like an Umbrella ripen'd.

Over the way a waggon

Stands with six smoking horses, shrinking, blinking,
While in the George and Dragon

The man is keeping himself dry-and drinking!
The Butcher's boy skulks underneath his tray,

Hats shine-shoes don't-and down droop collars,
And one blue Parasol cries all the way

To school, in company with four small scholars !

Unhappy is the man to-day who rides,
Making his journey sloppier, not shorter;
Aye, there they go, a dozen of outsides,
Performing on a Stage with real water!
A dripping Pauper crawls along the way,
The only real willing out-of-doorer,
And says, or seems to say,

'Well, I am poor enough-but here's a pourer !'

The scene in water colours thus I paint,
Is your own Festival, you Sloppy Saint!
Mother of all the Family of Rainers!
Saint of the Soakers!

Making all people croakers,

Like frogs in swampy marshes, and complainers !
And why you mizzle forty days together,

Giving the earth your water-soup to sup,

I marvel-Why such wet, mysterious weather?
I wish you'd clear it up!

Why cast such cruel dampers

On pretty Pic Nics, and against all wishes
Set the cold ducks a-swimming in the hampers,
And volunteer, unask'd, to wash the dishes?
Why drive the Nymphs from the selected spot,
To cling like lady-birds around a tree-
Why spoil a Gipsy party at their tea,
By throwing your cold water upon hot?

Cannot a rural maiden, or a man,
Seek Hornsey-Wood by invitation, sipping

Their green with Pan,

But souse you come, and show their Pan all dripping!

ΤΟ

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Why upon snow-white table-cloths and sheets,
That do not wait, or want a second washing,
Come squashing ?

Why task yourself to lay the dust in streets,
As if there were no Water-Cart contractors,
No pot-boys spilling beer, no shop-boys ruddy
Spooning out puddles muddy,

Milkmaids, and other slopping benefactors!

A Queen you are, raining in your own right,
Yet oh! how little flatter'd by report!

Even by those that seek the Court,

Pelted with every term of spleen and spite.
Folks rail and swear at you in every place;
They say you are a creature of no bowel;
They say you're always washing Nature's face,
And that you then supply her,

With nothing drier,

Than some old wringing cloud by way of towei!

The whole town wants you duck'd, just as you duck it,
They wish you on your own mud porridge supper'd,
They hope that you may kick your own big bucket,
Or in your water-butt go souse! heels up'ard!
They are, in short, so weary of your drizzle,
They'd spill the water in your veins to stop it-
Be warn'd! You are too partial to a mizzle-
Pray drop it!

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A STORM AT HASTINGS

AND THE LITTLE UNKNOWN

'TWAS August-Hastings every day was filling-
Hastings, that 'greenest spot on memory's waste!'
With crowds of idlers willing or unwilling
To be bedipped-be noticed-or be braced,
And all things rose a penny in a shilling.
Meanwhile, from window and from door, in haste
'Accommodation bills' kept coming down,
Gladding the world of letters' in that town.

Each day pour'd in new coach-fulls of new cits,
Flying from London smoke and dust annoying,
Unmarried Misses hoping to make hits,

And new-wed couples fresh from Tunbridge toying.
Lacemen and placemen, ministers and wits,
And quakers of both sexes, much enjoying
A morning's reading by the ocean's rim,
That sect delighting in the sea's broad brim.

And lo! amongst all these appear'd a creature,
So small, he almost might a twin have been
With Miss Crachami-dwarfish quite in stature,
Yet well proportion'd-neither fat nor lean,
His face of marvellously pleasant feature,
So short and sweet a man was never seen→→

All thought him charming at the first beginning—
Alas, ere long they found him far too winning!

He seem'd in love with chance-and chance repaid
His ardent passion with her fondest smile,

The sunshine of good luck, without a shade,

He staked and won-and won and staked-the bile

It stirr'd of many a man and many a maid,

To see at every venture how that vile

Small gambler snatch'd—and how he won them too—
A living Pam, omnipotent at loo!.

Miss Wiggins set her heart upon a box,

'Twas handsome, rosewood, and inlaid with brass,

And dreamt three times she garnish'd it with stocks
Of needles, silks, and cottons—but alas !

She lost it wide awake.- -We thought Miss Cox
Was lucky-but she saw three caddies pass

To that small imp;-no living luck could loo him!
Sir Stamford would have lost his Raffles to him!