The very remedy, however sure,
Springs from the mischief it intends to cure,
And favage in its principle appears,
Tried, as it should be, by the fruit it bears.
'Tis hard, indeed, if nothing will defend
Mankind from quarrels but their fatal end;
That now and then an hero mult decease,
That the surviving world may live in peace.
Perhaps at last close scrutiny may show
The practice daftardly, and mean, and low;
That men engage in it compell’d by force:
And fear, not courage, is its proper source.
The fear of tyrant custom, and the fear
Lest fops should censure us, and fools should sneer,
At least to trample on our Maker's laws,
And hazard life for any or no cause,
To rush into a fixt eternal state
Out of the very fames of rage and hate,
Or send another shiv’ring to the bar
With all the guilt of such unnat'ral war,

Unnat ral war, . i ...

Whatever use may urge, or honour plead,
On reason's verdict is a madman's deed.
Am I to set my life upon a throw,
Because a bear is rude and furly? No-
A moral, sensible, and well-bred man
Will not affront me, and no other can.
Were I empow'r’d to regulate the lists,
They should encounter with well-loaded fists;
A Trojan combat would be something new.
Let Dares beat ENTELLUS black and blue;
Then each might show, to his admiring friends,
In honourable bumps his rich amends,
And carry, in contusions of his skull,
A satisfactory receipt in full.

A story, in which native humour reigns,
Is often useful, always entertains;
A graver fact, enlisted on your side,
May furnish illuftration, well applied;
But sedentary weavers of long tales
Give me the fidgets, and my patience fails.


'Tis the most afinine employ on earth,

To hear them tell of parentage and birth,
And echo conversations, dull and dry,
Embellish'd with-He said, and so said I.
At ev'ry interview their route the same,
The repetition makes attention lame;
We bustle up with unsuccessful speed,
And in the faddest part cry-Droll indeed!
The path of narrative with care pursue,
Still making probability your clue;
On all the vestiges of truth attend,
And let them guide you to a decent end.
Of all ambitions man may entertain,
The worst that can invade a sickly brain
Is that which angles hourly for surprise,
And baits its hook with prodigies and lies.
Credulous infancy, or age as weak,
Are fittest auditors for such to seek,
Who to please others will themselves disgrace;
Yet please not, but affront you to your face.

A great retailer of this curious ware,
Having unloaded and made many stare,
Can this be true?-an arch observer cries.
Yes, (rather mov'd) I saw it with these eyes!
Sir! I believe it on that ground alone;
I could not, had I seen it with my own.

A tale should be judicious, clear, succinct;
The language plain, and incidents well link’d;
Tell not as new what ev'ry body knows;
And, new or old, still hasten to a close;
There, cent’ring in a focus round and neat,
Let all your rays of information meet.
What neither yields us profit or delight
Is like a nurse's lullaby at night;
Guy Earl of Warwick and fair Eleanore,
Or giant killing Jack, would please me more.

The pipe, with folemn interposing puff,
Makes half a sentence at a time enough;
The dozing fages drop the drowsy strain,
Then pause, and puff--and speak, and pause again.

s ro

Such often, like the tube they so admire,
Important triflers ! have more smoke than fire.
Pernicious weed! whose scent the fair annoys,
Unfriendly to fociety's chief joys,
Thy worst effect is banishing for hours
The sex whose presence civilizes our's :
Thou art, indeed, the drug a gard'ner wants,
To poison vermin that infeft his plants;
But are we so to wit and beauty blind,.
As to despise the glory of our kind,
And show the softest minds and fairest forms
As little inercy as he grubs and worms?
They dare not wait the riotous abuse,
Thy thirst-creating steams at length produce,
When wine has giv'n indecent language birth,
And forced the food-gates of licentious mirth;
For sea-born Venus her attachment shows,
Still to that element from which she rose,
And, with a quiet which no fumes disturb,
Sips meek infusions of a milder herb..



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