PREFACE. CURIOUS READER, Come with me, I pray, to the wooded hills and dreamy valleys of mine own Siluria. Leave the "chargeable noise of the great town," and stand with me on the mountain that I love, while the wind sweeps over the heather and bracken, bringing with it the salt of the far-away sea. Below us the country is extended; wave after wave of wood and meadow floating in the mist of the morning, and here and there a window-pane shoots back the rays of the mounting sun. In a valley to the east the smoke of a walled city, Caerleon, the metropolitan, arises; and on the yellow water beyond ships are passing in and out of harbour. Just beneath us, on the verge between heather and cornfield, stands an ancient house with mullioned windows that have withstood the storm of many a hundred year, and from its chimneys also a faint blue smoke rises straight till it meets the mountain wind. Here then let us stand awhile and mingle the golden clouds of Virginia with those of Siluria. For, mark me, we have got into a little hollow sheltered from the full strength of the breeze, and a beechtree that bends over us will give sufficient shade, though, like most of our mountain trees, it is somewhat stunted. Here we can smoke, and meditate, and dream, for a time at least, like to the gods of Epicurus, taking no heed for the turmoil of the world beneath us, but each man, rapt in his own fancies, weaves them into what he sees, and the whole is very sweet for him to remember hereafter in the midst of the streets, and noisome smoke, and clamour without end. More I say not; let my reader make his dreams for himself of what he may, and if they be even dreams of love I will reprove him not in this place; though in my lecture-room at Brentford it would be otherwise. So if in my book I speak somewhat harshly of Venus and her train, you, O reader, must remember that it is the Professor of Pipe Philosophy in his chair, and not the Silurian on his hills, who does so; and this because he will not tolerate any imperium which seems to threaten and diminish the honour of the Pipe and Jar. Come with me, then, through our shady woods in summer, wander with me by our rivers and wandering brooks, let us drink deep of the life-giving breath of the mountains; and, so it be done moderately, of the cwrw that is without guile. And what the printer has set after this shall be to you my discourse by the way. A. LL. J. M. HISTORICAL INTRODUCTION. Ir is a thing well known and ascertained that the ancient philosophers were wont to divide their teaching into two parts; of which one was the Esoteric or Acroamatic, and the other the Exoteric. Now the first or Esoteric was that which was taught to the innermost band of disciples, and contained things which were unfit for the hearing of the senseless and evil-minded crowd. But the second or Exoteric was that which was openly taught, and likewise put in writing, and so hath come down to our own days. And in compiling this book I have thought well to imitate the example of these mighty men of old, and therefore have not writ at all of the Esoteric Doctrines of Pipe Philosophy, not being of a mind to lay open such high and weighty matters to the idle cavils and senseless animadversions that would most surely follow. Therefore doth this book treat alone of the Fumus Exotericus and not one whit of the Flamma Esoterica.* * Nevertheless, if any one after reading this should desire to penetrate further, and learn the Esoteric Doctrines of Pipe Philosophy, I will undertake to receive him into my house for the term of twelve calendar months, and by example, superintendence, and other practical methods will instruct him in all that pertains to the study of Cloudiness and general Tubulosity; and before or after the termination of the aforesaid twelve months to the best of my ability will strive to obtain for him remunerative employment on the literary staff of the Decennial Dudheen, provided that he first disburse to me the sum of fifty thousand asses. (I would recommend, however, that if any one determine on this course, he should first make himself a master of the art of blacking boots, which is of great service to those who engage in Pipe Philosophy: nay, several of the most respected Pipe Philosophers were at one time bootblacks, and have raised themselves by strenuous exertions to their present position and authority. Leolinus Siluriensis.) B And they for whom this exposition is chiefly intended are those who deem themselves to have already gone through all human erudition, and to have nothing more to learn. For, unless I mistake, before they have digested many pages they will perceive themselves to have been woefully in the wrong, and that here is laid open a new land of science, set far beyond the limits of Ultima Thule. Nay, more, they will read of men and books before unknown; and some perchance in their pride and stiffneckedness will go so far as to dispute the existence thereof. And at once to put an end for ever to all objections on the matter, I will demonstrate how it has come to pass that such weighty and erudite doctors as Gulielmus Septemhorologiensis, Johannes de Grotibus, Margites Dummerkopfius, and others have been hitherto unknown to mankind. Know, then, that when it is said of Pythagoras, “With an elementary work on arithmetic in his pocket he visited the East for the acquirement of knowledge," only a part is told, and that a small one. For the truth is that after journeying through Persia and Arabia, and paying a short but lively visit to the land of the Anthropophagi,* he proceeded still further East, until he came to the Seres or Chinese, whom he describeth as γένος παιδαριωδέστατον KaÌ EvTpaTeλάTatov a most childlike and bland race, † at which blandness being pleased, he thought to remain there some while. Now it appeareth that he had already formed his mysterious notions concerning the Divine Essence residing in numbers and sounds; and it was these same ideas that * Iamblichus, however, sayeth that his sojourn was a long one, and that he enjoyed the patronage of Helluo XV., King of the Cannibal Isles, who at that period gathered round him the most illustrious poets and philosophers of the age. [See Life and Times of Helluo XV., but lately imprinted for Kegan Saul at the sign of the Pig and Whistle in Paternoster-row.] For confirmation of this read Harte (Cervus Californicus). |