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N officer of one of the ships at Spithead having occasion to send to his country house in great haste, a few days since, despatched a sailor on horseback with a letter; who, after delivering it, and being refreshed and the horse fed, went to the stable to prepare for his return. A by-stander observing to him, that he was putting on the saddle the hind part before, the sailor replied, "How do you know which way going to ride?"

I am

A LEARNED and witty dissenting minister, not many years deceased, married three wives; the first for her pecuniary advantages; the second on account of her personal charms; and the third, he married in his old age, for the sake of securing her attention and his own comfort: she, however, proved a very shrew." Well," said the Rev. divine, to a friend, "I have in my time had three wives-the World, the Flesh, and the Devil!

An old batchelor, near the Stock Exchange, a few years back, became smitten with a widow in the neighbourhood, who had been left with three children. After some time devoted to the usual forms of courtship, the gentleman married the lady. It frequently happened, when a stranger called at his house, that some of the children were admired, with the addition of "Dear me, Sir, this is a fine child!" His constant reply was-"Yes, Sir, but it is not mine, it is my wife's child."

In about a twelvemonth after their marriage, the lady brought him a son, and whenever it chanced to be taken notice of by any gentleman or lady, which was not unfrequent ly the case, he always took care to remark, in contradiction to his former replies "Yes, Sir, or Madam, it is a very fine boy, indeed, but it is not one of my wife's children, this is my own child!”

Not long ago, a gentleman having occasion to see a neighbouring friend, called at his house, and was informed he was gone out: to save the trouble of calling again, he expressed a wish to see the mistress, but she also was gone out. That no time might be lost, he requested to see the young master, but he, likewise, was gone out. Wishing, however, not to go without accomplishing his business, on saying he would then walk in, and sit by the fire till one of them returned, was told by Pat," Indeed, Sir, you kan't, for that too is gone out!"

THE following advertisement is copied from the Alexandria Daily Advertiser. Those persons who have been in the habit of stealing my fence for a considerable time past, are respectfully informed, if equally agreeable to them, it will be more convenient to me if they steal my wood, and leave the fence for the present-and, as it may be attended with some little inconvenience getting over the palings, the gate is left unfastened for their accommodation. G 2 S. SWIFT.

course of a few months. He adds that, according to the calculations in different nurseries, seven Garricks, fifteen Kembles, twelve Siddonses, nine-and-forty Cookes, three Brahams, and six Incledons, will be ready to start before the next winter.

SOME of our most respectable London four-pounders are a little alarmed at the accounts given in the French papers of the exploits of Parisian feasting, where the ci-decant soup-maigre swallowers are represented as devouring a portico of the Temple of Ephesus, half Cleopatra's needle, the top of Trojan's column, and a leg of the Colossus of Rhodes, at one repast. One or two distinguished trencher-men have proposed a new system of table-luxury, and suggested to an eminent cook to give them an opportunity of manifesting their abilities at table, by devouring Bread-street, Billings-gate, and the Poultry, with a due proportion of Green-lettuce-lane, and Garlick-hill, as side-dishes.

SHIP news extraordinary!—Accounts have been recently received of the loss of the Lovely Duchess, valuably laden, on the Faro di Messina, owing to some sunken rocks and shoals, not laid down in the charts. The loss is estimated at several hundred thousand pounds.— She was pillaged on going on shore, principally by some Greeks, who composed part of the crew: As her loss was owing to her not steering the proper course, the principal underwriter means to dispute the payment.

CAPT. W of the Royal Navy, lately contrived to cut out a fine rich firigate from her moorings in Barnes Green Bay, called the Jewess: she is expected to prove a rich prize to the dashing captor,

T the last Malton Shew,

ATM horses of good age were

so scarce, that there were more dealers than horses; and the wants of the country are such, that the young stock is bought up before they are fit for use.

THE Brookside hounds lately unkennelled a bitch fox in the Plashet Park, Sussex, and, after a short chase, killed her on Mount Caburn. The poor animal must have been very near her time of littering, as six cubs were taken alive from her that barked on being handled.

The dog fox in the same place has been twice hunted by the same hounds; but renard's wily course both times favoured his escape; and to avoid any further annoyance from this well-scented pack, his subtility will probably lead him to shift his quarters, in the neighbourhood of which he is charged with many depredations.

Ar the Malton Craven Meeting, on the Wednesday immediately after the horses had started for the second heat of a fifty-pound race, Mr. Robson's colt, which was rode by J. Midgley, leaped over the cords, when, by the resolution of the boy's first attempt to bring him back, he broke down a post; and in the next attempt, the colt fell upon another post, which crushed his rider in so dreadful a manner, that he died the next day.

COCKING.-Lister, though beaten at York, is the favourite in London for the long main; and at York Mr. Mellish is the favourite against

Sir Francis Boynton for the main in the Spring Meeting.

Tuesday and Wednesday the main of cocks was fought near the George Inn, in Winchester, between the Gentlemen of Highbridge and Fareham, for twenty guineas the battle, and one hundred the odd, which was won by the latter. The ordinaries were well served and fully attended each day,

ON Tuesday the 16th, an otter that had been caught at Henfield, Sussex, was hunted by the Ditchling hounds, in a small pond of water, near this town, round which some hundreds of spectators were assembled in expectation of sport; but they were sadly disappointed, owing to the narrow limits to which the poor animal was confined. After being shockingly worried by bipeds and quadrupeds for about an hour, he was taken up alive, but so exhausted and bitten, that on being exhibited again for, sport the next day, he made no effort to defend himself in the water, and was in consequence soon torn to pieces by the dogs.

ON Monday the 22d, a great concourse of people, including several gentlemen, assembled at nine o'clock, in Hyde Park, to witness a running match between Brown, the boot-closer, and the Earl of Dorchester's coachman. The distance was one hundred yards; and the sum staked, twenty guineas. Brown gave his competitor three yards, and the odds were at first seven to four, and latterly two to one in his favour. He was, how

ever,

ever, beaten by the coachman, who ran it in thirty seconds, and won the race by nearly a yard and a half. This is the fifth race won by the coachman within a short time, and the first time Brown has been beaten. The coachman is a short clumsy figure, about forty years of age. He objects to run a greater distance than 100 yards.

Two stable-keepers, of the names of Heatherington and Packer, were indicted, by a man named King, who was by nature a black, and by profession a shoe-black, at Westminster Sessions, on Saturday, April 20, for an assault. It seems that the sooty prosecutor was a staunch partisan of Mr. Mainwaring, and frequently appeared at the door of his house in Swallow-street, indicating his partiality for that gentle man; in consequence of which the opposite party threw dead dogs and cats at him. The prosecutor insisted that the two defendants were not only active in this warfare, but porsonally assaulted him. proved, however, that King used to dress himself fantastically with the favours of the Court Candidate, and that he constantly created a mob, some of whom occasionally exploded a few catamarans against him. It appeared, also, that he had challenged a black man of his acquaintance to fight, for no other reason than his being a Burdettite; and that the seconds, who encouraged the joke, loaded the pistols with gunpowder and blood. The jury instantly acquitted the defend

ants.

It was

FEMALE PLAY.-The whole fashionable world is absorbed in the discovery of the immense losses of the Duchess of, at play, principally to gamesters of her own sex, and some of nearly her own rank

and distinction. Her Grace's whole loss, chiefly at faro, amounts to £176,000, of which a private gentlewoman and bosom friend, Mrs.—, is said to have won no less than £30,000. The discovery was made to the duke on Sunday last; the duchess rush'd into his library, and, in a flood of tears, told him she was ruined in fame and reputation, if these claims of honour were not instantly discharged. His grace was thunderstruck when he learned the extent of her requisition, and the names of the female friends who, had contributed in so extraordinary a manner to such extreme embarrassments. Having soothed her in the best manner he was able, he sent for two confidential friends, imparted to them all the circumstan

Her

ces, and asked them how he should act-Their answer was promptly given-" Pay not one guinea of any such infamous demands!" and this advice, it is supposed, will be strictly adhered to by the duke. grace is said to have executed some bonds, to satisfy, for a moment, these gambling claimants; but, of course they can be of no avail.— Two gentlemen and five ladies formed the snug flock of rooks, that have so unmercifully stripped this female pidgeon of distinction.—Morning Herald.After the above circumstantial account, our readers will not be a little surprised when told that the following, in direct contradiction to the above, appeared in the same paper, a few days afterwards-The fiction of the female gamblers of distinction in a house fitted up near St. James's-street, for their ruinous orgies, begin to die away: for it is now found out, that the supposed pidgeoned duchess, whọ thus sacrificed half a million sterling of her lord's fortune, never risqued the smallest portion of it at

any

any game, and that her amiable companion, who is a pattern of domestic propriety, instead of helping to pluck her grace, never played for a guinea in the course of her life!

EPPING HUNT.At half after twelve on Easter Monday, a fine stag, that has been hunted for the last four seasons, was conveyed in a covered cart to a hollow place, about half a mile from the Ballfaced Stag, where he was let loose. The hounds were in waiting at a short distance off; and the stag was closely pursued as far as Woodford; when, finding himself pressed, he doubled, and nearly retraced his own steps. This afforded great entertainment to a very numerous set of spectators. The stag eluded the grasp of his pursuers for some time, by running through the close part of the wood, but was at length taken, after a chase of upwards of two hours, being then very much exhausted, with the hounds close at his haunches.

Very few were in at the death, as the deer traversed through such a thick part of the wood that the horsemen could not well follow; in consequence of this, perhaps, there were fewer horsemen dismounted than usually happens on that day.

ONE of our most celebrated whips, Charles Buxton, Esq. has lately concluded a bet of 500 guineas, with Mr. Thomas Hall, the dealer in horses. The object of the wager is to decide which of the two is the best driver of four unruly horThe wager is to be decided by two friends of the parties; who are to pick out eight horses from Spencer's, Marsden's, and White's.Lords Barrymore and Cranley are chosen as the umpires. The horses selected are only to be those which have not been broken in.

ses.

The

THE beginning of this month, a very serious loss was sustained by Mr. Giles, of Thrale Farm, Streatham. This gentleman has been for many years collecting the most beautiful of the foreign song birds, which he intermixed with the native songsters of the island, and kept the whole within an aviary fashioned for that purpose. This place, however, being occasionally warmed by flues, whenever any sudden change from heat to cold took place, the person whose business it was to attend to that circumstance by accident or negligence left the flues on Friday last unattended,and the whole collection was suffocated and destroyed. It is supposed that some thousands have been expended in procuring the birds. The collec tion was considered to be the finest in the kingdom.

MONDAY, April 15, a scientific pitched battle, for twenty-five guineas, was fought in Islington fields, between a copper-plate engraver, of the name of Willis, and Caleb Harding, a horse-dealer. The parties are men of property. A dispute arose respecting a horse sold to Willis by his antagonist. They at length agreed that the horse should be returned, and that the sum about to be given should be decided by the pugilistic art. Caleb is a known pugilist, and Willis a

pupil