ls by a newer object quite forgotten. SCENE V.-The same. A street. Enter SPEED and LAUNCE. Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan Laun. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always-that a man is never undone, till he be hanged; nor welcome to a place, till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say, welcome Speed. Come on, you mad-cap, I'll to the alehouse with you presently; where, for one shot of five-pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. Bat, sirrah, how did thy master part with madam Julia? Sc. VI. The same. An Apartment in the Palace Pro. To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn; But now I worship a celestial sun. Laun. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest. Speed. But shall she marry him? Lawn, No. Speed. How then? shall he marry her? Speed. What, are they broken? Laun. No, they are both as whole as a fish. then.! Laun. Marry, thus; when it stands well with lan, it stands well with her. [not. Speed. What an ass art thou? I understand thee Laun. What a block art thou, that thou can'st But My staff understands me. Speed. What thou say'st? Lun. Ay, and what I do, too: look thee, I'll but lean, and my staff understands me. Speed. It stands under thee, indeed. it will Speed. The conclusion is then, that it will. Laun. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but by a parable. Speed. Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say'st thou, that my master is become a notable lover? Lawn. I never knew him otherwise. 'be. Laun. A notable labber, as thou reportest him [Exit. Jul. Counsel, Lucetta; gentle girl, assist me! Luc. Alas! the way is wearisome and long. [food? Luc. Better forbear, till Proteus make return. Luc. I do not seek to quench your love's hot fire; Jul. The more thou dam'st it up, the more it burns Giving a gentle kiss to every sedge Luc. But in what habit will you go along? Of greater time than I shall show to be. [breeches? Jul. Out, oat, Lucetta; that will be ill-favour'd. Luc. A round hose, madam, now's not worth a pin, Unless you have a cod-piece to stick pins on. Jul. Lucetta, as thou lov'st me, let me have What thou think'st meet, and is most mannerly: But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me, For undertaking so unstaid a journey? I fear me, it will make me scandaliz'd. Know, worthy prince, sir Valentine, my friend, Duke. Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care Pro. Know, noble lord, they have devis'd a mean Luc. If you think so, then stay at home, and go not. But, good my lord, do it so cunningly, Luc. Then never dream of infamy, but go. No matter who's displeas'd, when you are gone : I fear me he will scarce be pleas'd withal. Jul. That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear: Luc. All these are servants to deceitful men. [wrong, Jul. Now, as thou lov'st me, do him not that ACT III. [Exeunt. That my discovery be not aimed at; Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify Duke. Nay, then no matter; stay with me awhile. [ward Val. I know it well, my lord; and, sure, the match SCENE I-Milan. An Anti-room in the Duke's And, where I thought the remnant of mine age Palace. Enter DUKE, THURIO, and PROTEUS. [Exit Thurio. Should have been cherish'd by her child-like duty, To be regarded in her sun-bright eye. Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words: Damb jewels often, in their silent kind, More than quick words, do move a woman's mind. Duke. But she did scorn a present that I sent her. Val. A woman sometimes scorns what best conSend her another; never give her o'er; [tents her: For scorn at first makes after-love the more. If she do frown, 'tis not in hate of you, Bat rather to beget more love in you: If she do chide, 'tis not to have you gone; For why, the fools are mad, if left alone. Take no repulse, whatever she doth say; For, get you gone, she doth not mean away: Flatter, and praise, commend, extol their graces; Though ne'er so black, say, they have angels' faces. That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, If with his tongue he cannot win a woman. Duke. But she, I mean, is promis'd by her friends Cato a youthful gentleman of worth ; And kept severely from resort of men, That no man hath access by day to her. Val. Why then I would resort to her by night. Duke. Ay, but the doors be lock'd, and keys kept That no man hath recourse to her by night. [safe, Val. What lets, but one may enter at her window? Duke. Her chamber is aloft, far from the ground; And built so shelving, that one cannot climb it Without apparent hazard of his life. Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, To cast up with a pair of anchoring hooks, Would serve to scale another Hero's tower, So bold Leander would adventure it. Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, Advise me where I may have such a ladder. [that. Val. When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me Date. This very night; for love is like a child, That longs for every thing that he can come by. Vai. By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder. Dake. But, hark thee; I will go to her alone; Box shall I best convey the ladder thither? Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Lader a cloak, that is of any length. [turn. Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the Val. Av, my good lord. Duke. Then let me see thy cloak: I get me one of such another length. [Reads. Fal. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. Duke. How shall I fashion me to wear a cloak ?— I pray thee, let me feel thy cloak upon me.What letter is this same ?What's here?-To Silvia? And here an engine fit for my proceeding! Il be so bold to break the seal for once. My thoughts do harbour with my Silvia nightly; Andslares they are to me, that send them flying: 0. could their master come and go as lightly, Himself would lodge, where senseless they are lying. My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them; While I, their king, that thither them importune, Do curse the grace that with such grace hath bless'd them, Because myself do want my servants' fortune: I arse myself, for they are sent by me, [be. That they should harbour where their lord should What's here? Micia, this night I will enfranchise thee : Thank me for this, more than for all the favours, Will give thee time to leave our royal court, Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCE. Pro. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him out. Pro. What seest thou? Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me!What is your news? [vanish'd. Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are Pro. That thou art banished, O, that's the news; From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend. Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Doth Silvia know that I am banished? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became As if but now they waxed pale for woe: [them, But neither bended knees, pure hands held up, Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears, Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire: But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die. Besides, her intercession chaf'd him so, When she for thy repeal was suppliant, That to close prison he commanded her, With many bitter threats of biding there. Val. No more; unless the next word, that thou speak'st, Have some malignant power upon my life: As ending anthem of my endless dolour. Pro. Cease to lament for that thou can'st not help, And study help, for that which thou lament'st. Time is the nurse and breeder of all good. Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love; Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life. Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that, And manage it against despairing thoughts. Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence; Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love. The time now serves not to expostulate: Come, I'll convey thee through the city gate; And, ere I part with thee, confer at large Of all that may concern thy love-affairs: As thou lov'st Silvia, though not for thyself, Regard thy danger, and along with me. Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north-gate. Pro. Go, sirrah, find him out.-Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt Valentine and Proteus. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,-which is much in a bare christian. Here is the cat-log (Pulling out a paper) of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore, is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter SPEED. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why, it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: what news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st Laun. Fye on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb,-Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock? Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. [crusts Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite Speed. She will often praise her liquor. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's wr down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she may, and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth thas faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her; she was mine. and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wil,— Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: the cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs,Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out Speed. And more wealth than faults. Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious Well, I'll have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible,- Speed. What then? Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,-that thy master stays for thee at the north gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox your love-letters! Erik Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading letter: an unmannerly slave, that will thrust him self into secrets!-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exi SCENE II.-The same. A Room in the Duke's Pa Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be That I am desperate of obtaining her. washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Trench'd in ice; which with an hour's heat, Dissolves to water, and doth lose his form. A little time will melt her frozen thoughts, And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.How now, sir Proteus? Is your countryman, According to our proclamation, gone? Pro. Gone, my good lord. Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not so.Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee, For thou hast shown some sign of good desert,) Makes me the better to confer with thee. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Let me not live to look upon your grace. Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would effect The match between sir Thurio and my daughter. Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will. Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers go. What might we do, to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love sir Thurio? Pro. The best way is, to slander Valentine With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent; Three things that women highly hold in hate. Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate. Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend. Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loth to do: Tis an ill office for a gentleman; Especially, against his very friend. [him, Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage Your slander never can endamage him; Therefore the office is indifferent, Being entreated to it by your friend. Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord if I can do it, By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, She shall not long continue love to him. Bat say, this weed her love from Valentine, It follows not, that she will love sir Thurio. Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, You must provide to bottom it on me : Which must be done, by praising me as much As you in worth dispraise sir Valentine. [kind; Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this Because we know, on Valentine's report, You are already love's firm votary, pon And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you; Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect:- For Orphens' lute was strung with poets' sinews; To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music : To give the onset to thy good advice. Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper: SCENE I-A Forest, near Mantua. Enter certain Outlaws. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger. 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down with 'em. Enter VALENTINE and Speed. 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you; If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you. Speed. Sir, we are undone! these are the villains That all the travellers do fear so much. Val. My friends, 1 Out. That's not so, sir; we are your enemies. 2 Out. Peace; we'll hear him. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; For he's a proper man. Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose; A man I am, crossed with adversity: My riches are these poor habiliments, Of which if you should here disfurnish me, You take the sum and substance that I have. 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? [staid, Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might have If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 1 Out. What, were you hanish'd thence? Val. I was. 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to rehearse: I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; But yet I slew him manfully in fight, Without false vantage, or base treachery. 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so: But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him; sirs, a word. Speed. Master, be one of them; It is an honourable kind of thievery. 2 Out. Tell us this: have you any thing to take to? Val. Nothing, but my fortune. 3 Out. Know then, that some of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth Thrust from the company of awful men: Myself was from Verona banished, For practising to steal away a lady, An heir, and near allied unto the duke. 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Whom, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. But to the purpose,-(for we cite our faults, That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives,) And, partly, seeing you are beautified With goodly shape; and by your own report A linguist; and a man of such perfection, As we do in our quality much want;— 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you: Are you content to be our general? To make a virtue of necessity, And live, as we do, in this wilderness? [consort? 3 Out. What say'st thou wilt thou be of our Say, ay, and be the captain of us all : We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee, Love thee as our commander, and our king. 1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thon diest |