A splinter knock'd my nose off ;

My bowsprit's gone! I cries,
Yet well it kept their blows off,

Thank God, 't was not my eyes;
Chance, if it again sends that sort,
Let's hope I've had my share.

Thus, if bold tars, &c.
Scarce with these words I'd outed,

Glad for my eyes and limbs,
When a cartridge burst, and douted

Both my two precious glions;
Well then, they're gone, I cry'd, in short,
Yeț fate my life did

And thus, tho'tars, &c.
I'm blind, and I'm a cripple,

Yet cheerfully wou'd sing,
Were my disasters triple;

'Cause why,—'twas for my King;
Besides each Christian exhort,

Plcas d with some pittance spare,
And thus, tho'tars are Fortune's sport,
They still are Fortune's care.

T the very best of houses, where the best of

people dine, And the very best of eatables they cater, Give the very best of spirits, and decant the

best of wine, I attend as a very merry waiter,

Then under arm,

Then a table-cloth can spread, neat decant my

white and red, Manage matters to a charm, and with napkin Can a skinflint or jolly fellow tell, whether they'll

come down, Gold, a tissey, or a crown; so treats 'em as I

find them, ill or well. And when noisy, roaring, drumming, tingling,

ringling, I cries coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming, coming; going in, Madam; going up, Sir; dainn the bells, they're all ringing at once!

In their very merry meetings, why I always likes

to share; Whole bottles, sometimes broke, why then I

snack it: In that I'm quite at home, so it travels, you know

where, Sally chambermaid and I slily crack it; She a little fortune’s made, just by warming a bed,

So I think it not amiss, now and then to snatch

a kiss;

For you know I love Sally very well.
So hob-nobbing as we chat, looking, loving, and

all that,
In our ears they're ever ringing such a peal:
Missus, maids, all bawling, drumming,

Tinkling, jingling, I cries coming, &c. John, devil some biscuits, and take them up to

the Angel.— Tom, you take care of No. 21; I shall take care of No. 1 myself.

A snipe

A snipe there once was order'd, such an article

we'd not; Yet to disappoint a customer unwilling, A plover was serv’d up, the gemman swore no bill

't had got; Says I swallow it, I'll soon bring the bill in. Thus I jokes, and gaily talk, while poor master

jokes with chalk, And jingling glasses drink, while I jingle in the

chins. Cod! he breaks, and I buy in, who can tell; Sally Missus then is made ;-up to every ser

vant's trade, We are certain sure, your honours, to do well;

Brisk and busy, no hum drumming,

Tinkling, jingling, I cries coming, &c. James, take care of No, 4, and see that Sam Cel

ler-Man sends up prick'd bottles; they're a shabby set, and we inay never see them again. -Mrs. Napkin, show my Lord the Star and Garter; and Lawyer Lattitat to the Devil. He's going there himself, Sir; he knows the way very well.



COW we're all met here together,

In spite of wind or weather,
To moisten well our clay;
Before we think of jogging,
Let's take a cheerful nogging;

Where's the waiter ? ring away:
Where's the glees, and the catches,
The tobacco-pipes and matches,


And plenty of brown stout;
Yet the glasses, e'er we start 'em,
Let's proceed secundem artem;

Let the clerk all the names read out. Spoken--Gentlemen of theQuizzical Society,please

to answer to your names-Farmer Scroggins; why I be here--Doctor Horseleach; here - Parson Paunch; here— Taylor Tit; here--So he goes on for about twenty; at last-You're here, are you, all assembled?-All! all! all! all!

So here's to you, Mr. Wiggins,
Here's to you Master Higgins,

So put the beer about, &c.
Come tell us what the news is,
Who wins and who loses,

Of the times what do people say;
Hard, hard! the landlord racks us,
Then we've such a load of taxes !

Indeed! well, and how goes hay?
Why, now,

there's master Wiseman,
He tells the Exciseman

That the cause of this bother and rout-
Order! order, and sobriety,
The rules of this society,

Let the Clerk read them out.
Spoken--Everymember of this society that spills his

liquor in his neighbour's pocket shall forfeit 2d. -Every member of this society that singes his neighbour's wig with his pipe, shall forfeit 2d. Every member of this society that refuses to laugh at a joke, shall forfeit 2d-Every member of this society who reproaches his neighbour with coming to distress by unavoidable misfor, ttmes, shall forfeit 9d.-Mr. President, I move that this forfeit be a shilling; and I second the motion. Are you all agreed? I am wanimously.--A noble resolution!-D'ye think so?


Why, then, here's to you, Mr. Higgins,

Here's to you, Mr. Wiggins, &c.
And now the potent liquor
Not even spares the vicar,

But in all their poddles mounts;
While among this set of queerers,
All talkers and no hearers,

Each his fav'rite tale recounts:
The soldier talks of battle!
The grazier sells his cattle!

Conversation to provoke;
Till the juice of the barrel
Begets some curious quarrel,

While the company's lost in smoke. Spoker.-Upon my soul, neighbour, I had no hand

in the death of your wife; it was all in the way of business :--Nay, but Doctor, 'twere a cursed unneighbourly thing of you, not that the woman were any sitch great things, but to put a body to sitch an expense. Why, you don't tell me so! kill'd fifteen with your own hand !--Fifteen by my laurels! D'ye hear it, Butchers-Hear it, yes: but I'll lay'n what he dares, he has not kill'd so inany as I have by hundreds Powder my whiskers-Come, come, gentlemen, says the Bellows-maker, no breezes.-Let me exhort you to temperance, says the Parson.-Amen, says the Clerk. That's right, says the Undertaker, let's bury all animosity. That's what I like,

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