Oh! when I snatched a tender kiss,
Or some such trifle when I courted,
You said, indeed, that love was bliss,
But never owned you were transported!

But then to gaze on that fair face
It would have been an unfair feeling,

To dream that you had pilfered lace —

And Flints had suffered from your stealing!

Or when my suit I first preferred,
To bring your coldness to repentance,
Before I hammered out a word,

How could I dream you'd heard a sentence !

Or when with all the warmth of youth

I strove to prove my love no fiction,
How could I guess I urged a truth
On one already past conviction !

How could I dream that ivory part,

Your hand where I have looked and lingered,

Altho' it stole away my heart,

Had been held up as one light-fingered!

In melting verse your charms I drew,
The charms in which my muse delighted
Alas! the lay, I thought was new,
Spoke only what had been indicted!

Oh! when that form, a lovely one,
Hung on the neck its arms had flown to,
I little thought that you had run

A chance of hanging on your own too.

You said you picked me from the world,
My vanity it now must shock it

And down at once my pride is hurled,

You've picked me- and you've picked a pocket!

Oh! when our love had got so far,
The banns were read by Dr. Daly,
Who asked if there was any bar

Why did not some one shout " Old Bailey?"

But when you robed your flesh and bones
In that pure white that angel garb is,
Who could have thought you, Mary Jones,
Among the Joans that link with Darbies?

And when the parson came to say,
My goods were yours, if I had got any,
And you should honour and obey,
Who could have thought

"O Bay of Botany."

But, ok, the worst of all-your slips
I did not till this day discover
That down in Deptford's prison ships,
Oh, Mary! you've a hulking lover!

NO. II.

66

Love, with a witness!"

HE has shaved off his whiskers and blackened

his brows,

Wears a patch and a wig of false hair,—

He had beautiful eyes, and his lips were the same, And his voice was as soft as a flute

Like a Lord or a Marquis he looked, when he

came,

To make love in his master's best suit.

If I lived for a thousand long years from my birth,

I shall never forget what he told;

How he loved me beyond the rich women of earth, With their jewels and silver and gold!

When he kissed me and bade me adieu with a sigh,

By the light of the sweetest of moons,

Oh how little I dreamt I was bidding good-bye

To my

Missis's teapot and spoons!

NO. III.

"I'd be a Parody." — BAILEY.

WE met t'was in a mob

and I thought he

I could not feel for no watch was upon

-

the night was cold

unaltered,

I too longed much to pelt

legs faltered.

I wore my bran new boots - and unrivalled their

brightness,

They fit me to a hair — how I hated their tightness!

I called, but no one came, and my stride had a tether

Oh thou hast been the cause of this anguish, my leather!

I seized upon his arm, he was mine and mine

only,

And stept

as he deserved to cells wretched

and lonely :

And there he will be tried - but I shall ne'er

receive her,

The watch that went too sure for an artful de

ceiver;

The world may think me gay,- heart and feet ache together,

Oh thou hast been the cause of this anguish, my leather.

FRENCH AND ENGLISH.

"Good heaven! Why even the little children in France

speak French!"

ADDISON.

I.

NEVER go to France

Unless you know the lingo,

If you do, like me,

You will repent by jingo.

Staring like a fool,

And silent as a mummy,
There I stood alone,

A nation with a dummy:

II.

Chaises stand for chairs,
They christen letters Billies,
They call their mothers mares,
And all their daughters fillies;