Thought he “ beneath that petticoat

She hides a salmon-tail ! ”

She looked as siren ought to look,

A sharp and bitter shrew,
To sing deceiving lullabies

For mariners to rue,–
But when he saw her lips apart,

It chilled him through and through !

With either hand he stopped his ears

Against her evil cry; Alas, alas, for all his care,

His doom it seemed to die, Her voice went ringing through his head

It was so sharp and high !

He thrust his fingers further in

At each unwilling ear,
But still, in very spite of all,

The words were plain and clear : “I can't stand here the whole day long,

To hold your glass of beer!”

With opened mouth and opened eyes,

Up rose the Sub-marine,
And gave a stare to find the sands

And deeps where he had been :
There was no siren with her glass !
No waters ocean-green !

The wet deception from his eyes

Kept fading more and more,
He only saw the bar-maid stand

With pouting lip before —
The small green parlor of The Ship,

And little sanded floor!


“ Hark! hark! the dogs do bark,

The beggars are coming ..." - OLD BALLAD.

Oh what shall I do for a dog ?
Of sight I have not got a particle,
Globe, Standard, or Sun,

Times, Chronicle - none.
Can give me a good leading article.

A Mastiff once led me about,
But people appeared so to fear him —

I might have got pence

Without his defence,
But Charity would not come near him.

A Bloodhound was not much amiss,
But instinct at last got the upper ;

And tracking Bill Soames,

And thieves to their homes,
I never could get home to supper.



A Fox-hound once served me as guide,
A good one at hill and at valley ;

But day after day

He led me astray,
To follow a milk-woman's tally.

A turnspit once did me good turns
At going and crossing, and stopping ;

Till one day his breed

Went off at full speed,
To spit at a great fire in Wapping.

A Pointer once pointed my way,
But did not turn out quite so pleasant,

Each hour I'd a stop

At a Poulterer's shop
To point at a very high pheasant.

A Pug did not suit me at all,
The feature unluckily rose up;
And folks took offence

When offering pence,
Because of his turning his nose up.

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A Butcher once gave me a dog,
That turned out the worst one of any;

A Bull-dog's own pup,

I got a toss up,
Before he had brought me a penny.

My next was a Westminster Dog,
From Aistrop the regular cadger ;

But, sightless, I saw

He never would draw
A blind man so well as a badger.

A greyhound I got by a swop,
But, Lord ! we soon came to divorces :

He treated my strip

Of cord like a slip,
And left me to go my own courses.

A poodle once towed me along,
But always we came to one harbor ;

To keep his curls smart,

And shave his hind part,
He constantly called on a barber.

My next was a Newfoundland brute,
As big as a calf fit for slaughter;

But my old cataract

So truly he backed
I always fell into the water.

I once had a sheep-dog for guide,
His worth did not value a button;

I found it no go,

A Smithfield Ducrow,
To stand on four saddles of mutton.


My next was an Esquimaux dog,
A dog that my bones ache to talk on,

For picking his ways

On cold frosty days
He picked out the slides for a walk on.

Bijou was a lady-like dog,
But vexed me at night not a little,

When tea-time was come

She would not go home,
Her tail had once trailed a tin kettle.

I once had a sort of a Shock,
And kissed a street post like a brother,

And lost every tooth

In learning this truth -
One blind cannot well lead another.

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A terrier was far from a trump,
He had one defect, and a thorough,

I never could stir,

'Od rabbit the cur! Without going into the Borough.

My next was Dalmatian, the dog !
And led me in danger, oh crikey!

By chasing horse heels,

Between carriage wheels, Till I came upon boards that were spiky.

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