The next that I had was from Cross,
And once was a favourite spaniel

With Nero, now dead,

And so I was led
Right up to his den like a Daniel.

A mongrel I tried, and he did,
As far as the profit and lossing,

Except that the kind

Endangers the blind,
The breed is so fond of a crossing.

A setter was quite to my taste,
In alleys or streets broad or narrow,

Till one day I met

A very dead set,
At a very dead horse in a barrow.

I once had a dog that went mad,
And sorry I was that I got him ;

It came to a run,

And a man with a gun Peppered me when he ought to have shot him.

My profits have gone to the dogs,
My trade has been such a deceiver,

I fear that my aim

Is a mere losing game, Unless I can find a Retriever.



A Pair of married kangaroos

(The case is oft a human one too) Were greatly puzzled once to choose

A trade to put their eldest son to: A little brisk and busy chap,

As all the little K.'s just then are — About some two months off the lap,

They ’re not so long in arms as men are.

A twist in each parental muzzle
Betrayed the hardship of the puzzle -

So much the flavor of life's cup
Is framed by early wrong or right,
And Kangaroos we know are quite

Dependent on their “rearing up.” The question, with its ins and outs, Was intricate and full of doubts ;

And yet they had no squeamish carings For trades unfit or fit for gentry, Such notion never had an entry,

For they had no armorial bearings. Howbeit they 're not the last on earth That might indulge in pride of birth ;

Whoe'er has seen their infant young Bob in and out their mother's pokes,

Would own, with very ready tongue,
They are not born like common folks
Well, thus the serious subject stood,

It kept the old pair watchful nightly,
Debating for young hopeful's good,
That he might earn his livelihood,

And go through life (like them) uprightly.

Arms would not do at all ; no, marry,
In that line all his race miscarry ;

And agriculture was not proper,
Unless they meant the lad to tarry

Forever as a mere clod-hopper.
He was not well cut out for preaching,

At least in any striking style:

And as for being mercantile — He was not formed for over-reaching. The law – why there still fate ill-starred him, And plainly from the bar debarred him : A doctor — who would ever fee him ?

In music he could scarce engage,

And as for going on the stage
In tragic socks I think I see him !
He would not make a rigging-mounter ;

A haberdasher had some merit,
But there the counter still ran counter,

For just suppose

A lady chose
To ask him for a yard of ferret !

A gardener digging up his beds,
The puzzled parents shook their heads.
“A tailor would not do because —”
They paused and glanced upon his paws.
Some parish post,— though fate should place it
Before him, how could he embrace it ?
In short, each anxious Kangaroo
Discussed the matter through and through ;
By day they seemed to get no nearer,

'Twas posing quite

And in the night Of course they saw their way no clearer! At last thus musing on their knees — Or hinder elbows if you please — It came — no thought was ever brighter ! In weighing every why and whether, They jumped upon it both together “ Let's make the imp a short-hand writer !

I wish all human parents so

Would argue what their sons are fit for ;
Some would-be critics that I know

Would be in trades they have more wit for. ODE FOR THE NINTH OF NOVEMBER,

O LUD! O Lud! O Lud!
I mean of course that venerable town,
Mentioned in stories of renown,

Built formerly of mud; —
O Lud, I say, why didst thou e'er

Invent the office of a Mayor,
An office that no useful purpose crowns,
But to set Aldermen against each other,
That should be Brother unto Brother,–
Sisters at least, by virtue of their gowns ?

But still, if one must have a Mayor

To fill the Civic chair,

O Lud, I say, Was there no better day To fix on, than November Ninth so shivery And dull for showing off the Livery's livery ?

Dimming, alas !

The Brazier's brass, Soiling the Embroiderers and all the Saddlers,

Sopping the Furriers,

Draggling the Curriers, And making Merchant Tailors dirty paddlers ;

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