Once they made choice of my bass voice

To share in each duet ;
So well I danced, I somehow chanced

To stand in every set :
They now declare I cannot sing,

And dance on Bruin's plan ;
Me draw — me paint !- me any thing !-

I'm not a single man!

Once I was asked advice, and tasked

What works to buy or not,
And “would I read that passage out

I so admired in Scott ? ”
They then could bear to hear one read;

But if I now began,
How they would snub, “ My pretty page,"

I'm not a single man !


One used to stitch a collar then,

Another hemmed a frill ;
I had more purses netted then

Than I could hope to fill.
I once could get a button on,

But now I never can —
My buttons then were Bachelor's —

I'm not a single man!


Oh how they hated politics

Thrust on me by papa :
But now my chat — they all leave that

To entertain mamma.
Mamma, who praises her own self,

Instead of Jane or Ann,
And lays “ her girls ” upon the shelf —

I'm not a single man !

VI. Ah me, how strange it is the change,

In parlour and in hall,
They treat me so, if I but go

To make a morning call.
If they had hair in papers once,

Bolt up the stairs they ran ;
They now sit still in dishabille –

I'm not a single man!


Miss Mary Bond was once so fond

Of Romans and of Greeks;
She daily sought my cabinet,

To study my antiques.
Well, now she doesn't care a dump

For ancient pot or pan,
Her taste at once is modernized —

I'm not a single man !


My spouse is fond of homely life,

And all that sort of thing ;
I go to balls without my wife,

And never wear a ring :
And yet each Miss to whom I come,

As.strange as Genghis Khan,
Knows by some sign, I can't divine -

I'm not a single man !


Go where I will, I but intrude,

I'm left in crowded rooms,
Like Zimmerman on Solitude,

Or Hervey at his Tombs.
From head to heel, they make me feel,

Of quite another clan ;
Compelled to own, though left alone —

I'm not a single man !

Miss Towne the toast, though she can boast

A nose of Roman line,
Will turn up even that in scorn

Of compliments of mine:
She should have seen that I have been

Her sex's partisan,
And really married all I could —

I'm not a single man !


'Tis hard to see how others fare,

Whilst I rejected stand,
Will no one take my arm because

They cannot have my hand ?
Miss Parry, that for some would go

A trip to Hindostan,
With me don't care to mount a stair

I'm not a single man !


Some change, of course, should be in force,

But, surely, not so much —
There may be hands I may not squeeze,

But must I never touch ? —
Must I forbear to hand a chair .
· And not pick up a fan ?
But I have been myself picked up -

I'm not a single man !


Others may hint a lady's tint

Is purest red and white —
May say her eyes are like the skies,

So very blue and bright,-
I must not say that she has eyes,

Or if I so began, -
I have my fears about my ears —

I'm not a single man !

I must confess I did not guess

A simple marriage vow,
Would make me find all women-kind

Such unkind women now ; -
I might be hashed to death, or smashed,

By Mr. Pickford's val.,
Without, I fear, a single tear-

I'm not a single man!


“Sometimes they were put to the proof, by what was called the Fiery Ordeal.” — Hist. Eng.

No morning ever seemed so long !-
I tried to read with all my might !
In my left hand “ My Landlord's Tales,"
And threepence ready in my right.

'Twas twelve at last — my heart beat high!
The Postman rattled at the door! -
And just upon her road to church,
I dropt the “ Bride of Lammermoor!”

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