We are to avoid all provocations. CAUTIONS AGAINST ANGER IN THE MATTER OF EDUCATION, CONVERSE, AND OTHER GENERAL ALL that we have to say in particular upon this subject, lies under these two heads:-first, that we do not fall into anger; and secondly, that we do not transgress in it. As in the case of our bodies, we have some medicines to preserve us when we are well, and others to recover us when we are sick; so it is one thing not to admit it, and another thing to overcome it. We are, in the first place, to avoid all provocations, and the beginnings of anger: for if we be once down, it is a hard task to get up again; when our passion has got the better of our reason, and the enemy is received into the gate, we cannot expect that the conqueror should take conditions from the prisoner. And in truth, our reason, when it is thus mastered, turns effectually into passion. A careful education is a great matter, for our minds are easily formed in our youth, but it is a harder business to cure ill habits: beside that, we are inflamed by climate, constitution, company, and a thousand other accidents, that we are not aware of. The choice of a good nurse, and a well-natured tutor, goes a great way; for the sweetness both of the blood and of the manners will pass into the child. There is nothing breeds anger more than a soft and effeminate education; and it is very seldom seen, that either the mother's, or the schoolmaster's darling, ever comes to good. But my young master, when he comes into the An effeminate education breeds anger.-We should avoid provocations. world, behaves himself like a choleric coxcomb; for flattery, and a great fortune, nourish touchiness. But it is a nice point, so to check the seeds of anger in a child, as not to take off his edge, and quench his spirits, whereof a principal care must be taken, betwixt licence and severity, that he be neither too much emboldened nor depressed. Commendation gives him courage and confidence, but then the danger is, of blowing him up. into insolence and wrath: so that when to use the bit, and when the spur, is the main difficulty. Never put him to a necessity of begging any thing basely, or if he does, let him go without it. Enure him to a familiarity, where he has any emulation; and, in all his exercises, let him understand that it is generous to overcome his competitor, but not to hurt him. Allow him to be pleased when he does well, but not transported, for that will puff him up into too high a conceit of himself. Give him nothing that he cries for, until the dogged fit is over, but then let him have it when he is quiet; to shew him that there is nothing to be gotten by being peevish. Chide him for whatever he does amiss, and make him betimes acquainted with the fortune that he was born to. Let his diet be cleanly, but sparing; and clothe him like the rest of his fellows: for by placing him upon that equality at first, he will be the less proud afterward, and consequently the less waspish and quarrelsome. In the next place, let us have a care of temptations that we cannot resist, and provocations that we cannot bear, and especially of sour and exceptious company: for a cross humour is contagious; nor is it all, that a man shall be the better for the example of a quiet con Of Cælius, a passionate orator. versation; but an angry disposition is troublesome, be- . cause it has nothing else to work upon. We should, therefore, choose a sincere, easy, and temperate companion, that will neither provoke anger nor return it, nor give a man any occasion of exercising his distempers. Nor is it enough to be gentle, submiss, and humane, without integrity and plain dealing: for flattery is as offensive on the other side. Some men would take a curse from you better than a compliment. Cælius, a passionate orator, had a friend of singular patience that supped with him, who had no way to avoid a quarrel, but by saying amen to all that Cælius said. Cælius taking this ill-" Say something against me," says he, "that you and I may be two;" and he was angry with him because he would not; and the dispute fell, as it needs must, for want of an opponent. He that is naturally addicted to anger, let him use a moderate diet, and abstain from wine; for it is but adding fire to fire. Gentle exercises, recreations and sports, temper and sweeten the mind. Let him have a care also of long and obstinate disputes, for it is easier not to begin them, than to put an end to them. Severe studies are not good for him neither, as law, mathematics; too much intention preys upon the spirits, and makes him eager. But poetry, history, and those lighter entertainments, may serve him for diversion and relief. He that would be quiet, must not venture at things out of his reach, or beyond his strength; for he shall either stagger under the burden, or discharge it upon the next man he meets; which is the same case in civil and domestic affairs. Business that is ready and practicable goes off with ease, but when it is too heavy for the A repulse inflames a generous mind. bearer, they fall both together. Whatsoever we design, we should first take a measure of ourselves, and compare our force with the undertaking, for it vexes a man not to go through with his work: a repulse inflames a generous nature, as it makes one that is phlegmatic sad. I have known some that have advised looking in a glass when a man is in the fit, and the very spectacle of his own deformity has cured him. Many that are troublesome in their drink, and know their own infirmity, give their servants order before-hand, to take them away by force, for fear of mischief, and not to obey their masters themselves when they are hotheaded. If the thing were duly considered, we should need no other cure than the bare consideration of it. We are not angry at madmen, children, and fools, because they do not know what they do; and why should not imprudence have an equal privilege in other cases? If a horse kick, or a dog bite, shall a man kick or bite again? The one, it is true, is wholly void of reason, but it is also an equivalent darkness of mind that possesses the other. So long as we are among men, let us cherish humanity; and so live, that no man may be either in fear, or in danger of us. Losses, injuries, reproaches, calumnies, they are but short inconveniences, and we should bear them with resolution. Beside that, some people are above our anger, others below it. To contend with our superiors were a folly, and with our inferiors an indignity. There is hardly a more effectual remedy against anger than patience and consideration. Let but the first fervour abate, and that mist which darkens the mind will be either lessened or dispelled; a day, nay, an hour, does much in the most violent cases, and, perchance, Patience softens wrath. totally suppresses it; time discovers the truth of things, and turns that into judgment, which at first was anger. Plato was about to strike his servant, and while his hand was in the air he checked himself, but still held it in that menacing posture. A friend of his took notice of it, and asked him what he meant. "I am now," says Plato, "punishing of an angry man :" so that he had left his servant to chastise himself. Another time, his servant having committed a great fault-" Speusippus," says he, "do you beat that fellow, for I am angry:" so that he forbore striking him for the very reason that would have made another man have done it. "I am angry," says he, "and shall go farther than becomes me." Nor is it fit that a servant should be in his power, that is not his own master. Why should any one venture now to trust an angry man with a revenge, when Plato durst not trust himself? Either he must govern that, or that will undo him. Let us do our best to overcome it; but let us, however, keep it close, without giving it any vent. An angry man, if he gives himself liberty at all times, will go too far. If it comes once to shew itself in the eye, or countenance, it has got the better of us. Nay, we should so oppose it, as to put on the very contrary dispositions: calm looks, soft and slow speech, an easy and deliberate march, and by little and little we may possibly bring our thoughts into a sober conformity with our actions. When Socrates was angry, he would take himself in it, and speak low, in opposition to the motions of his displeasure. His friends would take notice of it; and it was not to his disadvantage neither, but rather to his credit, that so many should know that he was angry, and nobody feel it; which could never |