my words have authority; now, I could, without it,' speak better, and with more pleasantness, than ever I could before. All this while I knew not Jesus Christ, neither did I leave my sports and plays.

29. But quickly after this, I fell in company with one poor man that made profession of religion; who, as I then thought, did talk pleasantly of the Scriptures, and of the matters of religion; wherefore, falling into some love and liking to what he said, I betook me to my Bible, and began to take great pleasure in reading, but especially with the historical part thereof; for, as for Paul's epistles, and Scriptures of that nature, I could not away with them, being as yet but ignorant, either of the corruptions of my nature, or of the want and worth of Jesus Christ to save me.

30. Wherefore I fell to some outward reformation, both in my words and life, and did set the commandments before me for my way to heaven; which commandments I also did strive to keep, and, as I thought, did keep them pretty well sometimes, and then I should have comfort; yet now and then should break one, and so afflict my conscience; but then I should repent, and say I was sorry for it, and promise God to do better next time, and there get help again, for then I thought I pleased God as well as any man in England.'

31. Thus I continued about a year; all which time our neighbours did take me to be a very godly

man, a new and religious man, and did marvel much to see such a great and famous alteration in my life and manners; and, indeed, so it was, though yet I knew not Christ, nor grace, nor faith, nor hope; and, truly, as I have well seen since, had I then died, my state had been most fearful; well, this, I say, continued about a twelvemonth or more. 32. But, I say, my neighbours were amazed at 'this my great conversion, from prodigious profane'ness, to something like a moral life; and, truly, so they well might; for this my conversion was as great, as for Tom of Bedlam to become a sober man. Now, therefore, they began to praise, to commend, and to speak well of me, both to my face, and behind my back. Now, I was, as they said, 'become godly; now, I was become a right honest • man. But, oh! when I understood that these

*

* Tom of Bedlam;' a byword for an inveterate drunkard, alluding to an old interesting song describing the feelings of a poor maniac whose frenzy had been induced by intoxication, and who escaped from Bedlam.

'Poore naked Tom is very drye;

A little drinke for charitye l'

It ends with this verse

The man in the moone drinkes clarret,

Eates powder'd beef, turnip, and carret,

But a cup of old Malaga sacke

Will fire the bushe at his barke.'

Probably the tale is connected with the drummer's tune, 'Drunk or sober, go to bed Tom.'-ED.

6

were their words and opinions of me, it pleased me mighty well. For though, as yet, I was nothing but a poor painted hypocrite, yet I loved 'to be talked of as one that was truly godly. I was proud of my godliness, and, indeed, I did all I did, either to be seen of, or to be well spoken of, by man. And thus I continued for about a 'twelvemonth or more.

·

33. Now, you must know, that before this I had taken much delight in ringing, but my conscience beginning to be tender, I thought such practice was but vain, and therefore forced myself to leave it, yet my mind hankered; wherefore I should go 'to the steeple house, and look on it, though I durst 'not ring. But I thought this did not become religion neither, yet I forced myself, and would look on still; but quickly after, I began to think, How, if one of the bells should fall? Then I chose 'to stand under a main beam, that lay overthwart 'the steeple, from side to side, thinking there I 'might stand sure, but then I should think again, 'should the bell fall with a swing, it might first hit the wall, and then rebounding upon me, might 'kill me for all this beam. This made me stand

in the steeple door; and now, thought I, I am 'safe enough; for, if a bell should then fall, I can slip out behind these thick walls, and so be preserved notwithstanding.

34. So after this, I would yet go to see them

'ring, but would not go further than the steeple door; but then it came into my head, How, if 'the steeple itself should fall? And this thought,

'it may fall for ought I know, when I stood and 'looked on, did continually so shake my mind, that I durst not stand at the steeple door any

longer, but was forced to flee, for fear the steeple 'should fall upon my head.

35. Another thing was my dancing; I was a 'full year before I could quite leave that; but all this while, when I thought I kept this or that 'commandment, or did, by word or deed, anything 'that I thought was good, I had great peace in my conscience; and should think with myself, 'God cannot choose but be now pleased with me; yea, to relate it in mine own way, I thought no man in England could please God better than I. 36. But poor wretch as I was, I was all this 'while ignorant of Jesus Christ, and going about 'to establish my own righteousness; and had 'perished therein, had not God, in mercy, showed me more of my state of nature.'

[IIIS CONVERSION and painful exERCISES OF MIND, PREVIOUS TO HIS JOINING THE CHURCH at bedford.]

37. But upon a day, the good providence of God did cast me to Bedford, to work on my calling; and in one of the streets of that town, I came

where there were three or four poor women sitting at a door in the sun, and talking about the things of God; and being now willing to hear them discourse, I drew near to hear what they said, for I was now a brisk talker also myself in the matters of religion, but now I may say, I heard, but I understood not; for they were far above, out of my reach; for their talk was about a new birth, the work of God on their hearts, also how they were convinced of their miserable state by nature; they talked how God had visited their souls with his love in the Lord Jesus, and with what words and promises they had been refreshed, comforted, and supported against the temptations of the devil. Moreover, they reasoned of the suggestions and temptations of Satan in particular; and told to each other by which they had been afflicted, and how they were borne up under his assaults. They also discoursed of their own wretchedness of heart, of their unbelief; and did contemn, slight, and abhor their own righteousness, as filthy and insufficient to do them any good.

38. And methought they spake as if joy did make them speak; they spake with such pleasantness of Scripture language, and with such appearance of grace in all they said, that they were to me, as if they had found a new world, as if they

*

* When the Lord, in his blessed work upon the soul, illu