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trouble to me, sometimes to have a man come up to me with an angry face, and reproach me for hav. ing lampooned him, when I had never seen or heard of him in my life. With the ladies it was otherwise: many became my enemies for not being particularly pointed out; as there were others who resented the satire which they imagined I had directed against them. My great comfort was in the company of half a dozen friends, who I found since were the club which I have so often mentioned in my papers. I laughed often at sir Roger in my sleep, and was the more diverted with Will Honeycomb's gallantries (when we afterwards became acquainted), because I had foreseen his marriage with a farmer's daughter. The regret which arose in my mind upon the death of my companions, my anxieties for the public, and the many calamities still fleeting before my eyes, made me repent my curiosity; when the magician entered the room, and awakened me, by telling me (when it was too late) that he was just going to begin.
N. B. I have only delivered the prophecy of that part of my life which is past, it being incon, venient to divulge the second part until a more proper opportunity.
No 605. MONDAY, OCT. 11, 1714.
Eruerint sylvestrem animum; cultuque frequenti,
VIRG. Georg. ii. si.
Having perused the following letter, and finding it to run upon the subject of love, I referred it to the learned casuist, whom I have retained in my service for speculations of that kind. He returned it to me the next morning with his report annexed to it, with both of which I shall here present my reader.
• Mr. SPECTATOR,
• Finding that you have entertained an useful person in your service in quality of lovecasuist, I apply myself to you, under a very great difficulty, that hath for some months perplexed me. I have a couple of humble servants, one of which I have no aversion to; the other I think of very kindly, The first hath the reputation of a man of good sense, and is one of those people that your sex are apt to value. My spark is reckoned a coxcomb among the men, but is a favourite of the ladies. If I marry the man of worth, as they call him, I shall oblige my parents, and improve my fortune; but with my dear beau I promise myself happiness, although not a jointure. Now I would ask you, whether I should
consent to lead my life with a man that I have only no objection to, or with him against whom all ob. jections to me appear frivolous. I am determined to follow the casuist's advice, and I dare say he will not put me upon so serious a thing as matrimony contrary to my inclination.
I am, &c.
· P.S. I forgot to tell you that the pretty gentle. man is the most complaisant creature in the world, and is always of my mind; but the other, forsooth, fancies he has as much wit as myself, slights my lap-dog, and hath the insolence to contradict me when he thinks I am not in the right. About half
he maintained to my face that a patch always implies a pimple.'
As I look upon it to be my duty rather to side ith the parents than the daughter, I shall propose some considerations to my gentle querist, which may incline her to comply with those under whose direction she is; and at the same time convince her that it is not impossible but she may, in time, have a true affection for him who is at present indifferent to her; or, to use the old family maxim, that, if she marries first, love will come after.'
The only objection that she seems to insinuate against the gentleman proposed to her, is his want of complaisance, which, I perceive, she is very wil. ling to return. Now I can discover from this very circumstance, that she and her lover, whatever they may think of it, are very good friends in their hearts. Itis difficult to determine whether love delights more in giving pleasure or pain. Let miss Fickle ask her own heart, if she doth not take a secret pride in making this man of good sense look very silly. Hach
she ever been better pleased than when her behaviour hath made her lover ready to han, himself? or doth she ever rejoice more than whe. she thinks she hath driven him to the very brink o a purling stream? Let her consider, at the same ti e, that it is not impossible but her lover may have covered her tricks, and hath a mind to give her a
rood as she brings. I remember a handsome yo -baggage that treated a hopeful Greek of my ac aintance, just come from Oxford, as if he had barbarian. The first week after she had fixe, im she took a pinch of snuff out of his rival's box und apparently touched the enemy's little finger. She became a professed enemy to the arts and sciences, and scarce ever wrote a letter to him without wil. fully mispelling his name. The young scholar, to be even with her, railed at coquettes as soon as he had
got the word; and did not want parts to turn into ridicule her men of wit and pleasure of the town. After having irritated one another for the space of five months, she made an assignation with him fourscore miles from London. But, as he was very well acquainted with her pranks, he took a journey the quite contrary way. Accordingly they met, quarrelled, and in a few days were married. Their former hostilities are now the subject of their mirth, being content at present with that part of love only which bestows pleasure.
Women who have been married some time, not having it in their heads to draw after them a numerous train of followers, find their satisfaction in the possession of one man's heart. I know very well that ladies in their bloom desire to be excused in this particular. But, when time hath worn out their natural vanity and taught them discretion, their fondness settles on its proper object. And it is probably for this reason that, among husbands, you will find more that are fond of women beyond their prime than of those whoare actually in the insolence of beauty. My reader will apply the same observation to the other sex.
I need not insist upon the necessity of their pursuing one common interest, and their unitedcare for their children; but shall only observe, by the way, that married persons are both more warm in their love and more hearty in their hatred than any others whatsoever. Mutual favours and obligations, which may be supposed to be greater here than in any other. state, naturally beget an intense affection in generous minds. As, on the contrary, persons who have bestowed such favours have a particular bitterness in their resentments, when they think themselves ill treated by those of whom they have deserved so much.
Besides, miss Fickle may consider that, as there are often many faults concealed before marriage, so there are sometimes many virtues unobserved.
To this we may add the great efficacy of custom and constant conversation to produce a mutual friendship and benevolence in two persons. It is a nice reflection, which I have heard a friend of mine make, that you may be sure a woman loves a man when she uses his expressions, tells his stories, or imitates his manner. This gives a secret delight; for imitation is a kind of artless flattery,and mightily favours the powerful principle of self-love. It is certain that married persons, who are possessed with a mutual esteem, not only catch the air and way of talk from one another, but fall into the same traces of thinking and liking. Nay, some have carried the remark so far as to assert, that the features of man and wife grow, in time, to resemble one another. Let my fair correspondent therefore consider, that the gentleman recommended will have a good deal