Poor, but experienced in the world, she knew
What others did, and judged what she could do;
Beauty she justly weigh'd, was never blind
To her own interest, and she read mankind:
She view'd my person with approving glance,
And judged the way my fortune to advance;
Taught me betimes that person to improve,
And make a lawful merchandize of love;
Bade me my temper in subjection keep,
And not permit my vigilance to sleep;
I was not one, a miss, who might presume
Now to be crazed by mirth, now sunk in gloom;
Nor to be fretful, vapourish, or give way
To spleen and anger, as the wealthy may;
But I must please, and all I felt of pride,
Contempt, and hatred, I must cast aside.
"Have not one friend," my mother cried, "not one; "That bane of our romantic triflers shun;
"Suppose her true, can she afford you aid?
"Suppose her false, your purpose is betray'd;
"And then in dubious points, and matters nice,
"How can you profit by a child's advice?
"While you are writing on from post to post,
"Your hour is over, and a man is lost;
"Girls of their hearts are scribbling; their desires, '
"And what the folly of the heart requires,
"Dupes to their dreams-but I the truth impart,
"You cannot, child, afford to have a heart;
"Think nothing of it; to yourself be true,
"And keep life's first great business in your view;
"Take it, dear Martha, for a useful rule,
"She who is poor is ugly or a fool;
"Or, worse than either, has a bosom fill'd
"With soft emotions, and with raptures thrill'd.
"Read not too much, nor write in verse or prose, "For then you make the dull and foolish foes; "Yet those who do, deride not nor condemn, "It is not safe to raise up foes in them;
"For though they harm you not, as blockheads do, "There is some malice in the scribbling crew."
Such her advice; full hard with her had dealt
The world, and she the usage keenly felt..
Keep your good name," she said, "and that to keep "You must not suffer vigilance to sleep:
"Some have, perhaps, the name of chaste retain'd, "When nought of chastity itself remain'd;
"But there is danger-few have means to blind "The keen-eyed world, and none to make it kind.
"And one thing more-to free yourself from foes "Never a secret to your friend disclose; "Secrets with girls, like loaded guns with boys, "Are never valued till they make a noise; "To show how trusted, they their power display; "To show how worthy, they the trust betray; "Like pence in children's pockets secrets lie "In female bosoms-they must burn or fly.
"Let not your heart be soften'd; if it be, "Let not the man his softening influence see; "For the most fond will sometimes tyrants prove, "And wound the bosom where they trace the love. "But to your fortune look, on that depend "For your life's comfort, comforts that attend "On wealth alone-wealth gone, they have their end."
Such were my mother's cares to mend my lot,
And such her pupil they succeeded not.
It was conceived the person I had then
Might lead to serious thoughts some wealthy men,
Who having none their purpose to oppose
Would soon be won their wishes to disclose:
My mother thought I was the very child
By whom the old and amorous are beguiled;
So mildly gay, so ignorantly fair,
And pure, no doubt, as sleeping infants are:
Then I had lessons how to look and move,
And, I repeat, make merchandize of love.
Thrice it was tried if one so young could bring
Old wary men to buy the binding ring;
And on the taper finger, to whose tip
The fond old swain would press his withering lip,
Place the strong charm :-and one would win my heart
By re-assuming youth-a trying part;
Girls, he supposed, all knew the young were bold,
And he would show that spirit in the old;
In boys they loved to hear the rattling tongue,
And he would talk as idly as the young;
He knew the vices our Lotharios boast,
And he would show of every vice the ghost,
The evil's self, without disguise or dress,
Vice in its own pure native ugliness;
Not as the drunkenness of slaves to prove
Vice hateful, but that seeing, I might love.
He drove me out, and I was pleased to see
Care of himself, it served as care for me;
For he would tell me, that he should not spare
Man, horse, or carriage, if I were not there:
Provoked at last, my malice I obey'd,
And smiling said, "Sir, I am not afraid."
This check'd his spirit; but he said, "Could you "Have charge so rich, you would be careful too."
And he, indeed, so very slowly drove,
That we dismiss'd the over-cautious love.
My next admirer was of equal age,
And wish'd the child's affection to engage,
And keep the fluttering bird a victim in his cage:
He had no portion of his rival's glee,
But gravely praised the gravity in me;
Religious, moral, both in word and deed,
But warmly disputatious in his creed:
Wild in his younger time, as we were told,
And therefore like a penitent when old.
Strange! he should wish a lively girl to look
Upon the methods his repentance took.
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