seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my not possibly do*. One of these virtuosi breast in her majesty's right hand. But seemed to think that I might be an em. this princess, who hath an infinite deal of bryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion wit and humour, set me gently on my feet was rejected by the other two, who obupon the scrutoire, and commanded me to served my limbs to be perfect and finishgive bis majesty an account of myself, ed, and that I had lived several years, as which I did in a very few words; and it was manifest from my beard, the stumps Glumdalclitch, who attended at the cabi. whereof they plainly discovered through net door, and could not endure I should be a magnifying glass. They would not alout of her sight, being admitted, confirme low me to be a dwarf, because my littleed all that had passed from my arrival at ness was beyond all degrees of compariher father's house.

son; for the queen's favourite dwarf, the The king, although he be as learned a smallest ever known in that kingdom, was person as any in his dominions, had been near thirty feet high. After much debate educated in the study of philosophy, and they concluded unanimously, that I was particularly mathematics; yet when he only relplum scalcath, which is interpretobserved my shape exactly, and saw me ed literally lusus naturæ ; a determinawalk erect, before I began to speak, con- tion exactly agreeable to the modern phiceived I might be a piece of clock-work losophy of Europe, whose professors, dis(which is in that country arrived to a daining the old cvasion of occult causes, very great perfection) contrived by some whereby the followers of Aristotle endea. ingenious artist. But when be heard my voured in vain to disguise their ignorance, voice, and found what I delivered to be have invented this wonderful solution of regular and rational, he could not con- all difficulties, to the unspeakable advanci. ceal his astonishment. lle was by no ment of human knowledge. means satisfied with the relation I gave After this decisive conclusion, I intreated him of the manner I came into his king- to be heard a word or two. I applied my. dom, but thought it a story concerted be self to the king, and assured his majesty tween Glumdalclitch and her father, who that I came from a country which aboundhad taught me a set of words to make me ed with several millions of both sexes, and sell at a better price. Upon this imagina. of my own stature; where the animals

, tion he put several questions to me, and trees, and houses were all in proportion, still received rational answers, no others and where by consequence i might be wise defective than by a foreign accent, as able to defend myself, and to find susand an imperfect knowledge in the lan. tenance, as any of his majesty's subjects guage, with some rustic phrases which could do here; which I look for a full anI had learned at the farmer's house, and swer to those gentlemen's arguments. To did not suit the polite style of a court. this they only replied with a smile of con

Ilis majesty sent for three great scholars, tempt, saying, that the farmer had inwho were then in their weekly waiting, structed me very well in my lessont. The according to the custom in that country. king, who had a much better understand. These gentlemen, after they had a while ing, dismissing his learned men, sent for the cxamined my shape with much nicety, farmer, who by good fortune was not yet were of different opinions concerning me. gone out of town: having therefore first They all agreed, that I could not be pro- examined him privately, and then confrontduced according to the regular laws of ed him with me and the young girl, his nature, because I was not framed with majesty began to think tbat what we told a capacity of preserving my life either by him might possibly be true. He desired swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging the queen to order that particular care holes in the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with great * By this reasoning the author probably intendexactness, that I was a carnivorous ani- ed to ridicule the pride of those philosophers, ebo mal; yet most quadrupeds being an over dence in the creation and government of the

have thought fit to arraign the wisdom of Propie match for me, and field mice with some world; whose carils are specious, like those of ebe others too nimble, they could not ima- Brobdingnagian sages, only in proportion to the gine how I should be able to support my- ignorance of those to whom they are proposed

. self, unless I fed upon snails and other

† This satire is levelled against all who rejest insects, which they offered, by many count, notwithstanding the absurdity of rejecto

those facts for which they cannot perfecuyac learned arguments, to evince that I could ing the testimony by which they are supported


should be taken of me, and was of opinion entire set of silver dishes and plates, and that Glomdalclitch should still continue in other necessaries, which in proportion to her office of tending me, because he ob- those of the queen, were not inuch bigger served we had a great affection for each than what I have seen in a London toycther. A convenient apartment was pro- shop, for the furniture of a baby-house: vided for her at court; she had a sort of these my little nurse kept in her pocket in governess appointed to take care of her a silver box, and gave me at meals as I education, a maid to dress her, and two wanted them, always cleaning them herother servants for menial offices; but the self. No person dined with the queen care of me was wholly appropriated to but the two princesses royal, the elder herself. The queen commanded her own sixteen years old, and the younger at that cabinet-maker to contrive a box that might time thirteen and a month. Her majesty serve me for a bed chamber; after the mo- used to put a bit of meat upon one of my del that Glumdalclitch and I should agree dishes, out of which I carved for myself; upon. This man was a most ingenious and her diversion was to see me eat in miartist, and according to my directions, in niature. For the queen (who had indeed three wecks finished for me a wooden but a weak stomach) took up at one chamber of sixteen feet square, and twelve mouthful as much as a dozen English farhigh, with sash-windows, a door, and two mers could eat at a meal, which to me closets, like a London bed-chamber. The was for some time a very nauseous sight*. board that made the cieling was to be lift- She would craunch the wing of a lark, ed up and down, by two hinges, to put in bones and all, between her teeth, although a bed ready furnished by her majesty's up- it were ninc times as large as that of a holsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out full grown turkey; and put a bit of bread every day to air, made it with her own in her mouth, as big as two twelve-penny hands, and letting it down at night, locked loaves. She drank out of a golden-cup, up the roof over me. A nice workman, above a hogshead at a draught. Her who was famous for little curiosities, un- knives were twice as long as a scythe, set dertook to make me two chairs with backs straight upon the handle. The spools, and frames, of a substance not unlike ivo- forks, and other instruments, were all in ry, and two tables, with a cabinet to put the same proportion. I remember, when my things in. The room was quilted on Gluindalclitch carried me out of curiosity all sides, as well as the floor and the ciel. to see some of the tables at court, where ing, to prevent any accident from the care- ten or a dozen of these enormous knives lessness of those who carried me, and to and forks were lifted up together, I break the force of a jolt when I went in' thought I had never till then beheld so a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to terrible a sight. prevent rats and mice from coming in: It is the custom, that every Wednesday ihe smith, after several attempts, made the (which as I have before observed, is their smallest that ever was seen among

them, sabbath) the king and queen, and the royal for I have known a larger at the gate of issue of both sexes, dine together in ihe a gentleman's house in England. I made apartment of his majesty, to whom I was a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my now become a great favourite; and at own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it. these times my little chair and table were The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be gotten to make me * Among other dreadful and disgusting images clothes, not much thicker than an English which custom has rendered familiar, are those blankct, very cumbersome till I was ac

which arise from eating animal food ; he who customed to them. They were after the ton of a beast which has been picked whole by

has ever turned with abhorrence froin the skelefashion of the kingdom, partly resembling birds or vermin, must confess that habit only the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and could have enabled him to endure the sight of are a very grave and decent habit.

the mangled bones and flesh of a dead carcase The queen became so fond of my com

which every day cover his table; and he who re

flects on the number of lives that have been sa. pany, that she could not dine without me. crificed to sustain bis own, should enquire by I had a table placed upon the same at what the account has been balanced and whether which her majesty eat, just at her left el- bis life is become proportionably, of more value bow, and a chair io sit on. Glumdalclitch by the exercise of virtue and piety, by the sustood on a stool on the floor near my table, reasonable beings, and by the glory which his

perior happiness which he has communicated to to assist and take care of me. I had an intellect has ascribed to God.

placed placed at his left hand before one of the which both nur persons appeared boere salt-cellars. This prince took a pleasure me in full view together: and there could in conversing with me, enquiring into the be nothing more ridiculous than the commanners, religion, laws, government, and parison; so that I really began to imagine learning of Europe : wherein I gave him myself dwindled many degrees below my the best account I was able. His appre. usual size. hension was so clear, and his judgment so Nothing angered and mortified me so exact, that he made very wise reflections much as the queen's dwarf, whu being of and observations upon all I said. But I the lowest stature that was ever in that confess, that afier I had been a little too co- country (for I verily think he was not full pious in talkingof my own beloved country, thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeof our trade, and wars by sea and land, of ing a creature so much beneath him, that our schisms in religion, and parties in the he would always afiect to swagger and look state; the prejudices of his education pre- big as he passed by me in the queun's antivailed so far, that he could not forbear chamber, while I was standing on some tataking me up in his right hand, and strok- ble talking with the lords or ladies of the ing me gently with the other, after an court, and he seldom failed of a smart word hearty fit of laughing, asked me, whether or two upon my littleness; against which I I was a whig or tory? Then turning 10 could only revenge myself by calling him his first minister, who waited behind him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and with a white staff near as tall as the main. such repartees as are usual in the months mast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed of court pages. One day, at dinner, this how contemptible a thing was human malicious little cub was so nettled with grandeur, which could be mimicked by something I had said to him, that raising such diminutive insects as I: and yet, says himself upon the frame of her majesty's he, I dare engage, these creatures have chair, he took me up by the middle, as I their titles and distinctions of honour; was sitting down, not thinking any harmo, they contrive little nests and burrows, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of that they call houses and cities: they make cream, and then ran away as fast as he à figure in dress and equipage; they love, could. I fell over head and cars, and if they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they I had not been a good swimmer, it might betray. And thus he continued on, have gone very hard with me; for Glum. while my colour came and went several dalclitch in that instant happened to be at times with indignation to hear our noble the other end of the room, and the quetil country, the mistress of arts and arms, the was in such a fright that she wanted prescourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, sence of mind to assist me. But my

line the seat of virtue, piety, honour, and truth, nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, the pride and envy of the world, so con- after I had swallowed above a quart of temptuously treated.

cream. I was put to bed; however I re. But as I was not in a condition to resent ceived no other damage than the loss of a injuries, so upon mature thoughts I began suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. to doubt whether I was injured or no. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a For, after having been accustomed several farther punishment forced to drink up the months to the sight and converse of this bowl of cream into which he had thrown people, and observed every object upon me; neither was be ever restored to fa. which 1 cast mine eyes to be of proporti- vour; for soon after the queen bestowed onable magnitude, the horror I had at first him on a lady of high quality, so that I conceived from the bulk and aspect was saw him no more, to my very great satisso far worn off, that if I had then beheld a faction; for I could not tell to what ex. company of English lords and ladies in tremity such a malicious urchin might basé their finery and birth-day clothes, acting carried his resentment. their several parts in the most courtly man- He had before served me a scurvy trick, der of strutting, and bowing, and prating, which set the queen a laughing, although to say the truth, I should have been strong- at the same time she was heartily vexed, ly tempted to laugh as much at them, as and would have immediately caliend the king and bis grandees did at me. Nei- him, if I had not been so generous as to ther indeed could I forbear smiling at my- intercede. ljer majesty bud takı n a mai self, when the queen used to place me up row-bone upon her plate, and, afterkanck. on her hand towards a looking-glass, by ing out the marrow, placed the bone again

in the dish erect, as it stood before ; the cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps dwarf, watching his opportunity, while allured by the smell, came flying into the Glumdalclitch was gone to the side-board, room, humming louder than the drones of mounted the stool that she stood on to take as many bag-pipes. Some of them seized care of me at meals, took me up in both my cake, and carried it piece-meal a way; hands, and squeezing my legs together, others flew about my head and tace, conwedged them into the marrow-bone, above founding me with the noise, and putting my waist, where I stuck for some time, me in the utmost terror of their stings. and made a very ridiculous figure. I be. However, I had the courage to rise and lieve it was near a minute before any one draw my hanger, and attack them in the knew what was become of me; for I air. I dispatched four of them, but the thought it below me to cry out. But, as rest got away, and I presently shut my princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs window These insects were as large as were not scalded, only my stockings and partridges : I took out their stings, and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, found them an inch and a half long, and at my intreaty, had no other punishment as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved than a sound whipping

them all, and having since shewn them, I was frequently rallied by the queen with some other curiosities, in several upon account of my fearfulness; and she parts of Europe, upon my return to Eng. used to ask me, whether the people of my land I gave three of them io Gresham Col. country were as great cowards as myself? lege, and kept the fourth for myself. The occasion was this: the kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer; and

CHAP. IV. these odious insects, each of them as big

as The country described. A proposal for a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner with their continual

correcting modern maps. The king's bumming and buzzing about mine ears.

palace, and some account of the metro

polis. The author's way of travelling. They would sometimes alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excre

The chief temple described. ment or spawn behind, which to me was I now intended to give the reader a short very visible, though not to the natives of description of this country, as far as I trathat country, whose large optics were not velled in it, which was not above two thouso acute as mine in viewing smaller objects. sand miles round Lorbrulgrud, the metroSometimes they would fix upon my nose polis. For the queen, whom I always ator forehead, where they stung me to the tended, never went farther, when she aequick, smelling very offensively; and 1 companied the king in his progresses, and could easily trace that viscous matter, there staid till his majesty returned from which, our naturalists tell us, enables viewing his frontiers. The whole extent those creatures to walk with their feet up- of this prince's dominions reached about wards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to six thousand miles in length, and from defend myself against these detestable ani- three to five in breadth. From whence I mals, and could not forbear starting when cannot but conclude that our geographers they came on my face. It was the com- of Europe are in a great error, by suppomon practice of the dwarf to catch a num- sing nothing but sea between Japan and ber of these insects in his band, as school. California; for it was ever my opinion, boys do amongst us, and let them out that there must be a balance of earth to suddenly under my nose, on purpose to counterpoise the great continent of Tarfrighten me and divert the queen. My tary; and therefore they ought to correct remedy was to cut them in pieces with my their maps and charts, by joining this vast knife, as they flew in the air, wherein my tract of land to the north-west parts of dexterity was much admired.

America, wherein I shall be ready to lend I remember one morning, when Glum- thom my assistance. dalclitch had set me in my box upon a The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated window, as she usually did in fair days to to the north-east by a ridge of mountains give me air (for I durst not venture to let thirty miles high, which are altogether imthe box be hung on a nail out of the win- passable by reason of the volcanoes upon dow, as we do with cages in England) their tops: neither do the most learned after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and know what sort of mortals inhabit beyond sat down at my table to cat a piece of sweet those mountains, or whether they be inha

bited at all. On the three other sides it and I was always of the party, carried in is bounded by the ocean. There is not my box; although the girl, at my own one sea-port in the whole kingdom, and desire, would often take me out, and hold those parts of the coast into which the me in her hand, that I might more conver rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, niently view the houses and the people, as and the sea generally so rough that there we passed along the streets. I reckoned is no venturing with the smallest of their our coach to be about a square of Westboats ; so that these people are wholly exminster-hall, but not altogether so ligh: cluded from any commerce with the rest however, I cannot be very exact. One day of the world. But the large rivers are full the governess ordered our coachman to of vessels, and abound with exceilent fish, stop at several shops, where the beggars, for they seldom get any from the sea, be- watching their opportunity, crowded to the cause the sea-fish are of the same size with sides of the coach, and gave me the most those in Europe, and consequently not horrible spectacles that ever an European worth catching: whereby it is manifest eye beheld. There was a woman with a that nature, in the production of plants and cancer in her breast, swelled to a monstrous animals of so extraordinary a bulk, is size, full of holes, in two or three of which wholly confined to this continent, of which I could have easily crept, and covered my I leavethe reasons to be determined by phi- whole body. There was a fellow with a losophers. However, now and then they wen in his neck larger than five wooltake a whale that happens to be dashed packs, and another with a couple of woodagainst the rocks, which the common people en legs, cach about twenty feet high. But feed on heartily. These whales I have the most hateful sight of all was the lice known so large that a man could hardly crawling on their clothes. I could see discarry one upon his shoulders; and some- tinctly the limbs of these vermin with my times for curiosity they are brought in naked eye, much better than those of an hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I saw one of them European louse through a microscope, and in a dish at the king's table, which passed their snouts with which they routed like for a rariety, but I did not observe he was swine. They were the first I had ever befond of it: for I think indeed the bignesa held, and I should have been curious disgusted him, although I have seen one enough to dissect one of them, if I had ha! somewhat larger in Greenland.

proper instruments (which I unluckily left The country is well inhabited, for it behind me in the ship) although inderd contains fifty-one cities, near an hundred the sight was so nauseous, that it perfectwalled towns, and a great number of vil- ly turned my stomach. lages. To satisfy my curious readers it Beside the large box in which I was usumay be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. ally carried, the queen ordered a smaller This city stands upon almost two equal one to be made for me of about twelve parts on each side the river that passes fcet square and ten high, for the converse through. It contains above eighty thou- ence of travelling, because the other was sand houses, and above six hundred thou- somcwbat too large for Glumdalclitch's sand inhabitants

. It is in length three lap, and cumbersone in the coach ; it was glonglungs, (which make about fifty-four made by the same artist, whom I directed English miles) and two and a half in in the whole contrivance. This travelling breadth, as I measured it myself in the closet was an exact square, with a window royal map made by the king's order, which in the middle of three of the squares, and was laid on the ground on purpose for me, each window was latticed with iron wire and extended an hundred feet; I paced on the outside, to prevent accidents in long the diameter and circumference several journics. On the fourth side, which had times bare-foot, and computing by the no window, two strong staples were fixed

, scale, measured it pretty exactly. through which the person that carried me

The king's palace is no regular edifice, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put but an heap of building about seven miles a leathern belt, and buckled it about bis round : the chief rooms are generally two waist. This was always the office of some hundred and forty feet high, and broad grave trusty servant in whom I could corand long in proportion. A coach was al. ide, whether I attended the king and queen lowed to Glumdalclitch and me, wherein in their progresses, or were dispose d to see her governess frequently took her out to the gardens, or pay a visit to some great see the town, or go among the shops : lady or minister of state in the court, when


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