But stop, ambitious Muse, in time, Nor dwell on subjects too sublime. In vain on lofty heels I tread, Aspiring to exalt my head;
With hoop expanded wide and light, In vain I 'tempt too high a flight. Me Phoebus, in a midnight dream Accosting, said, "Go shake your cream,' Be humbly minded, know your post; Sweeten your tea, and watch your toast. Thee best befits a lowly style;
Teach Dennis how to stir the guile;2 With Peggy Dixon3 thoughtful sit, Contriving for the pot and spit. Take down thy proudly swelling sails, And rub thy teeth and pare thy nails; At nicely carving show thy wit; But ne'er presume to eat a bit; Turn every way thy watchful eye, And every guest be sure to ply: Let never at your board be known An empty plate, except your own. Be these thy arts; nor higher aim Than what befits a rural dame. But Cloacina, goddess bright, claims her as her right; And Smedley, flower of all divines, Shall sing the dean in Smedley's lines."
TWELVE ARTICLES.
I. LEST it may more quarrels breed, I will never hear you read.
II. By disputing, I will never,
To convince you once endeavor.
III. When a paradox you stick to, I will never contradict you.
IV. When I talk and you are heedless, I will show no anger needless. V. When your speeches are absurd, I will ne'er object a word. VI. When you furious argue wrong, I will grieve and hold my tongue. VII. Not a jest or humorous story Will I ever tell before ye: To be chidden for explaining, When you quite mistake the meaning.
In the bottle, to make butter.
The quantity of ale or beer brewed at one time.
VIII. Never more will I suppose
You can taste my verse or prose. IX. You no more at me shall fret, While I teach and you forget.
X. You shall never hear me thunder, When you blunder on and blunder. XI. Show your poverty of spirit,
And in dress place all your merit; Give yourself ten thousand airs: That with me shall break no squares.
XII. Never will I give advice
Till you please to ask me thrice: Which if you in scorn reject,
"Twill be just as I expect.
Thus we both shall have our ends, And continue special friends.
TIIE REVOLUTION AT MARKET-HILL. 1730.
FROM distant regions Fortune sends An odd triumvirate of friends; Where Phoebus pays a scanty stipend, Where never yet a codling ripen'd: Hither the frantic goddess draws Three sufferers in a ruin'd cause: By faction banish'd, here unite A dean, a Spaniard, and a knight;3 Unite, but on conditions cruel;
The dean and Spaniard find it too well. Condemn'd to live in service hard; On either side his honor's guard: The dean, to guard his honor's back, Must build a castle at Drumlack; The Spaniard, sore against his will, Must raise a fort at Market-Hill. And thus the pair of humble gentry At north and south are posted sentry; While in his lordly castle fix'd,
The knight triumphant reigns betwixt: And, what the wretches most resent, To be his slaves, must pay him rent; Attend him daily as their chief, Decant his wine, and carve his beef. O Fortune! tis a scandal for thee
To smile on those who are least worthy: Weigh but the merits of the three, His slaves have ten times more than he. Proud baronet of Nova Scotia!
The dean and Spaniard must reproach ye:
2 Colonel Harry Leslie, who served and lived long in Spain.
But stop, ambitious Muse, in time, Nor dwell on subjects too sublime. In vain on lofty heels I tread, Aspiring to exalt my head;
With hoop expanded wide and light, In vain I 'tempt too high a flight. Me Phoebus, in a midnight dream Accosting, said, "Go shake your cream,' Be humbly minded, know your post; Sweeten your tea, and watch your toast. Thee best befits a lowly style;
Teach Dennis how to stir the guile;2 With Peggy Dixon3 thoughtful sit, Contriving for the pot and spit. Take down thy proudly swelling sails, And rub thy teeth and pare thy nails; At nicely carving show thy wit; But ne'er presume to eat a bit; Turn every way thy watchful eye, And every guest be sure to ply: Let never at your board be known An empty plate, except your own. Be these thy arts; nor higher aim Than what befits a rural dame.
But Cloacina, goddess bright,
claims her as her right; And Smedley, flower of all divines, Shall sing the dean in Smedley's lines."
TWELVE ARTICLES.
I. LEST it may more quarrels breed, I will never hear you read.
II. By disputing, I will never,
To convince you once endeavor.
III. When a paradox you stick to, I will never contradict you.
IV. When I talk and you are heedless, I will show no anger needless.
V. When your speeches are absurd, I will ne'er object a word. VI. When you furious argue wrong, I will grieve and hold my tongue. VII. Not a jest or humorous story Will I ever tell before ye: To be chidden for explaining, When you quite mistake the meaning.
In the bottle, to make butter.
The quantity of ale or beer brewed at one time.
VIII. Never more will I suppose
You can taste my verse or prose. IX. You no more at me shall fret, While I teach and you forget.
X. You shall never hear me thunder, When you blunder on and blunder. XI. Show your poverty of spirit,
And in dress place all your merit; Give yourself ten thousand airs: That with me shall break no squares.
XII. Never will I give advice
Till you please to ask me thrice: Which if you in scorn reject,
"Twill be just as I expect.
Thus we both shall have our ends, And continue special friends.
THE REVOLUTION AT MARKET-HILL. 1730.
FROM distant regions Fortune sends
An odd triumvirate of friends; Where Phoebus pays a scanty stipend, Where never yet a codling ripen'd: Hither the frantic goddess draws Three sufferers in a ruin'd cause: By faction banish'd, here unite A dean, a Spaniard, and a knight;3 Unite, but on conditions cruel;
The dean and Spaniard find it too well. Condemn'd to live in service hard; On either side his honor's guard: The dean, to guard his honor's back, Must build a castle at Drumlack; The Spaniard, sore against his will, Must raise a fort at Market-Hill. And thus the pair of humble gentry At north and south are posted sentry; While in his lordly castle fix'd,
The knight triumphant reigns betwixt: And, what the wretches most resent, To be his slaves, must pay him rent; Attend him daily as their chief, Decant his wine, and carve his beef. O Fortune! tis a scandal for thee
To smile on those who are least worthy: Weigh but the merits of the three, His slaves have ten times more than he. Proud baronet of Nova Scotia!
The dean and Spaniard must reproach ye:
2 Colonel Harry Leslie, who served and lived long in Spain.
my 20s 1 antinse de p trim where the last mania, Bob the masen vinn your ban 25. boy need me draud the fm i win: I má kalligde vista
Tre, any Anne to danger fear. Brase at the Upton fan de wears; Tom, ent upon our fret amack
Her vallant arm abouli free us back, And we of all car hopes deprived, I are a stratagem contrived. By these embroider'd nign-beel shoes fe eball be caught as in a moose: to vergontrived her toes to pinch, She'll not have power to stir an inch: These gaudy shoes must Hannah place Direct before her lady's face;
The shoes put on, our faithful portress Admits us in, to storm the fortress, While tortured madam bound remains, Like Montezume, in golden chains; Or like a cat with walnuts shod, Stumbling at every step she trod. Sly hunters thus, in Borneo's isle, To catch a monkey by a wile, The mimic animal amuse;
They place before him gloves and shoes; Which when the brute puts awkward on,
All his agility is gone;
In vain to frisk or climb he tries;
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