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ing began to knock down one of the walls of it, in order to let in the fresh air, and had packed up some of the household-goods, of • which I intended to have made thee a present; • but the false varlet no sooner saw me falling to « work, but he sent word to desire me to give

over, for that he would have no such doings • in his house. I had not been long in this na• tion before I was told by one, for whom I « had asked a certain favour from the chief of the

king's servants, whom they here call the lord• treasurer, that I had eternally obliged him. I • was so surprised at his gratitude, that I could • not forbear saying, What service is there « which one man can do for another, that can

oblige him to all eternity! However, I only • asked him, for my reward, that he would lend • me his eldest daughter during my stay in this

country; but I quickly found that he was as • treacherous as the rest of his countrymen.

• At my first going to court one of the great men almost

put me out of countenance, by asking ten thousand pardons of me for only

treading by accident upon my toe. They call • this kind of lie a compliment; for, when they

are civil to a great man, they tell him un• truths, for which thou wouldest order any of

thy officers of state to receive a hundred blows upon his foot. I do not know how I shall

nego'ciate any thing with this people, since there • is so little credit to be given to them. When • I go to see the King's scribe, I am generally 6I • told that he is not at home, though perhaps I

• law


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'faw him go into his house almost the very mo

ment before. Thou wouldest fancy that the · whole nation are physicians, for the first ques' tion they always ask me is, how I do: I have • this question put to me above a hundred times

a day. Nay, they are not only thus inquisitive 6 • after my health, but wish it in a more folemn manner, with a full glass in their hands, every

time I fit with them at table, though at the • same time they would persuade me to drink • their liquors in such quantities as I have found

by experience will make me fick. They often pretend to pray for thy health also in the same

manner; but I have more reason to expect it • from the goodness of thy constitution than ' • the sincerity of their wishes. May thy slave

escape in safety from this double-tongued race of men, and live to lay himself once inore at thy feet in the royal city of Bantam.'


N° 558. Wednesday, June 23, 1714.

Qui fit, Macenas, ut nemo, quam fibi fortem
Seu ratio dederit, feu fors objecerit, illå
Contentus vivat : laudet diversa fequentes?
O fortunati mercatores, gravis annis
Miles ait, multo jam fractus membra labore !
Contrà mercator, navim ja&tantibus auftris,
Militia est potior. Quid enim ? concurritur : hora
Momento cita mors venit, aut victoria lata.
Agricolum laudat juris legumque peritus,


Sub galli cantum confultor ubi ostia pulfat.
Ille, datis vadibus, qui rure extračtus in urbem eft,
Solos felices viventes clamat in urbe.
Cætera de genere hoc (adeo funt multa) loquacem
Delasare valent Fabium. Ne te morer, audi

Quò rem deducum. Si quis Deus, en ego, dicat,
Jam faciam quod vultis : eris tu, qui modò, miles,
Mercator : tu confultus modò, rusticus. Hinc vos,
Vos hinc mutatis discedite partibus. Eja,
Quid ftatis ? Nolint. Atqui licet ese beatis.

HoR. 1 Sat. i. I.

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• Whence is't, Mæcenas, that so few approve · The state they're placed in, and incline to rove; " Whether against their will by fate impos’d, • Or by consent and prudent choice espous'd ?

Happy the merchant ! the old soldier cries,
• Broke with fatigues and warlike enterprise.
• The merchant, when the dreaded hurricane
Tofses his wealthy cargo on the main,

Applauds the wars and toils of a campaign :
There an engagement soon decides your

doom, Bravely to die, or come victorious home.

The lawyer vows the farmer's life is best, • When at the dawn the clients break his rest. « The farmer, having put in bail t'appear, * And forc'd to town, cries, they are happiest there : . With thousands more of this inconstant race, . Would tire e'en Fabius to relate each case. • Not to detain you longer, pray attend • The ifsue of all this; Thould Jove descend, * And grant to every man his rash demand, * To run his lengths with a neglectful hand; . First, grant the harass'd warrior a release, • Bid him to trade, and try the faithless feas, To purchase treasure and declining cafe : * Next, call the pleader from his learned strife,


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. To the calm blessings of a country life :

And, with these separate demands disiniss ' Each fuppliant to enjoy the promis'd bliss : ' Don't you believe they'd run? Not one will move • Tho' proffer'd to be happy from above.'




T is a celebrated thought of Socrates, that if

all the Misfortunes of mankind were cast into a public stock, in order to be equally distributed among the whole species, those who now think themielves the most unhappy would prefer the share they are already poffefsed of before that which would fall to them by such a division. Horace has carried this thought a great deal farther in the motto of my Paper, which implies, that the hardships of Misfortunes which we lie under are more easy to us than those of


ther person would be, in case we could change conditions with him.

As I was ruminating upon these two remarks, and seated in my elbow-chair, I insensibly fell asleep; when on a sudden methought there was a proclamation made by Jupiter, that every mortal should bring in his Griefs and Calamities, and throw them together in a heap. There was a large plain appointed for this purpose. I took my

stand in the centre of it, and saw with a great deal of pleasure the whole human species marching one after another, and throwing down their several loads, which immediately grew up into a prodigious Mountain, that seemed to rise above the clouds.

Vol. VIII.



There was a certain lady of a thin airy shape, who was very active in this folemnity. She carried a magnifying glass in one of her hands, and was clothed in a loose flowing robe, embroidered with several figures of fiends and spectres, that discovered themselves in a thousand chimerical shapes as her garment hovered in the wind. There was something wild and distracted in her looks. Her name was Fancy. She led up every mortal to the appointed place, after having very officiously aílifted him in making up his pack, and laying it upon his lhoulders. My heart melted withiri me to see my fellow-creatures groaning under their respective burdens, and to consider that prodigious bulk of human Calamities which lay before me.

There were however several persons who gave me great diversion upon this occasion. I observed one bringing in a fardel very carefully, concealed under an old embroidered cloak, which, upon his throwing it into the heap, I discovered to be Poverty. Another, after a great deal of puffing, threw down his luggage, which examining, I found to be his wife.

There were multitudes of Lovers saddled with very whimsical burdens composed of darts and flames; but, what was very odd, though they sighed as if their hearts would break under these bundles of Calamities, they could not persuade themselves to cast them into the heap, when they came up to it; but, after a few faint efforts, shook their heads and marched away, as heavy loaden as they came.

I faw multitudes




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