upon whom I had employed my rhetoric fo effectually, that, though fhe was a very elderly lady, I had almoft brought her to confent to marry me. Upon my arrival at Oxford, I found logic fo dry, that, instead of giving attention to the dead, I foon fell to addreffing the living. My firft amour was with a pretty girl whom I fhall call Parthenope: her mother fold ale by the town-wall. Being often caught there by the proctor, I was forced at laft, that my mistress's reputation might re'ceive no blemish, to confefs my addreffes were honourable. Upon this I was immediately fent home; but Parthenope foon after marrying a fhoemaker, I was again fuffered to return. My next affair was with my taylor's daughter, who deferted me for the fake of a young barber. Upon my complaining to one of my particular friends of this misfortune, the cruel wag made a mere jeft of my calamity, and asked me with a fmile, Where the needle fhould turn but to the POLE*? After this I was deeply in love with a milliner, and at laft with my bed-maker, upon which I was fent away, or, ⚫ in the university phrafe, rufticated for ever.

Upon my coming home, I fettled to my ftudies fo heartily, and contracted fo great a refervedness by being kept from the company I most affected, that my father thought he might venture me at the Temple.

The common fign of a barber's fhop.

• Within

• Within a week after my arrival I began to 'fhine again, and became enamoured with a mighty pretty creature, who had every thing but money to recommend her. Having frequent opportunities of uttering all the foft things which an heart formed for love could infpire me with, I foon gained her confent to treat of marriage; but, unfortunately for us • all, in the absence of my charmer I usually talked the fame language to her eldest sister, ⚫ who is also very pretty. Now, I affure you, Mr. SPECTATOR, this did not proceed from any • real affection I had conceived for her; but, being a perfect ftranger to the converfation of men, and strongly addicted to affociate with 'the women, I knew no other language but that • of love. I fhould however be very much obliged to you if you could free me from the perplexity I am at prefent in. I have fent word to my old gentleman in the country that I am defperately in love with the younger fifter; and her father, who knew no better, poor man, acquainted him by the fame poft, that I had for 'fome time made my addreffes to the elder. Upon this old Tefty fends me up word, that

he has heard fo much of my exploits, that he "intends immediately to order me to the South'Sea. Sir, I have occafionally talked fo much ' of dying, that I begin to think there is not 'much in it; and if the old fquire perfifts in his defign, I do hereby give him notice that I am providing myself with proper inftruments the deftruction of defpairing lovers:

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therefore look to it, and confider that by his obftinacy he may himself lofe the fon of his ftrength, the world an hopeful lawyer, my mistress a paffionate lover, and you, Mr. SPEC

SIN

feveral of my correfpondents have been pleafed to fend me an account how they have been employed in fleep, and what notable adventures they have been engaged in during that moonshine in the brain. I fhall lay before my readers an abridgment of fome few of their extravagancies, in hopes that they will in time accuftom themselves to dream a little more to the purpose.

One, who ftyles himself Gladio, complains heavily that his fair one charges him with inconftancy, and does not ufe him with half the kindnefs which the fincerity of his paffion may demand; the said Gladio having by valour and ftratagem put to death tyrants, enchanters, monfters, knights, &c. without number, and exposed himself to all manner of dangers for her fake and fafety.

fafety.

He defires in his poftcript to know whether, from a conftant fuccefs in them, he may not promife himself to fucceed in her efteem at laft.

Another, who is very prolix in his narrative, writes me word, that, having sent a venture beyond fea, he took occafion one night to fancy himself gone along with it, and grown on a fudden the richest man in all the Indies. Having been there about a year or two, a guft of wind, that forced open his cafement, blew him over to his native country again, where awaking at fix o'clock, and the change of the air not agreeing with him, he turned to his left fide in order to a fecond voyage; but before he could get on fhipboard was unfortunately apprehended for ftealing a horfe, tried and condemned for the fact, and in a fair way of being executed, if fomebody stepping haftily into his chamber had not brought him a reprieve. This fellow too wants Mr. Shadow's advice; who, I dare fay, would bid him be content to rife after his firft nap, and learn to be fatisfied as foon as nature is.

The next is a public-fpirited gentleman, who tells me, that on the fecond of September at night the whole city was on fire, and would certainly have been reduced to afhes again by this time if he had not flown over it with the New River on his back, and happily extinguished the flames before they had prevailed too far. He would be informed whether he has not a right to petition the Lord Mayor and Aldermen for a reward.

A letter,

A letter, dated September the ninth, acquaints me, that the writer, being refolved to try his fortune, had fasted all that day; and, that he might be fure of dreaming upon fomething at night, procured an handsome flice of bride-cake, which he placed very conveniently under his pillow. In the morning his memory happened to fail him, and he could recollect nothing but an odd fancy that he had eaten his cake; which being found upon fearch reduced to a few crumbs, he is refolved to remember more of his dreams another time, believing from this that there may poffibly be fomewhat of truth in them.

I have received numerous complaints from feveral delicious dreamers, defiring me to invent fome method of filencing those noisy slaves whose occupations lead them to take their early rounds about the city in a morning, doing a deal of mifchief, and working ftrange confufion in the affairs of its inhabitants. Several monarchs have done me the honour to acquaint me how often they have been fhook from their respective thrones by the rattling of a coach, or the rumbling of a wheelbarrow. And many private gentlemen, I find, have been bawled out of vaft eftates by fellows not worth three-pence. A fair lady was just upon the point of being married to a young, handsome, rich, ingenious nobleman, when an impertinent tinker paffing by forbid the bans; and an hopeful youth, who had been newly advanced to great honour and preferment, was forced by a neighbouring cobler to refign all for an old fong. It has been represented to me that

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