Our party-writers are fo fenfible of the fecret virtue of an innuendo to recommend their productions, that of late they never mention the -n or Pt at length, though they speak of them with honour, and with that deference which is due to them from every private perfon. It gives a fecret fatisfaction to a perufer of thefe myfterious works that he is able to decipher them without help, and, by the strength of his own natural parts, to fill up a blank space, or make out a word that has only the firft or laft letter to it. Some of our authors indeed, when they would be more fatirical than ordinary, omit only the vowels of a great man's name, and fall most unmercifully upon all the confonants. This way of writing was firft of all introduced by T-m Br-wn*, of facetious memory, who, after having gutted a proper name of all its intermediate vowels, ufed to plant it in his works, and make as free with it as he pleased, without any danger of the statute. That I may imitate these celebrated authors, and publish a Paper which fhall be more taking than ordinary, I have here drawn up a very curious libel, in which a reader of penetration will find a great deal of concealed Satire, and if he be acquainted with the prefent pofture of affairs, will eafily difcover the meaning of it. If there are four perfons in the nation who ⚫ endeavour to bring all things into confufion, *Tom Brown. • and nor *** and ruin their native country, I think every 'honeft Englishman ought to be upon his guard. That there are fuch every one will agree with me, who hears me name *** with 'his firft friend and favourite ***, not to men'tion *** These people may cry 'ch-rch, ch-rch, as long as they pleafe; but, to make use of a homely proverb, The "proof of the p-dd-ng is in the eating.' This I am fure of, that if a certain Prince 'fhould concur with a certain prelate, (and we have Monfieur Z-n's word for it) our pofterity would be in a sweet p-ckle. Muft the British nation fuffer, forfooth, because my Lady Q-q-t-s has been difobliged? Or is it 'reasonable that our English fleet, which used to be the terror of the ocean, fhould lie windbound for the fake of a - ? I love to speak out and declare my mind clearly, when 'I am talking for the good of my country. I will not make my court to an ill man, though he were a B-y or a TT-t. Nay, I would not ftick to call fo wretched a politician a traitor, an enemy to his country, and a Bl-nd-rb-fs, &c. &c." The remaining part of this poetical treatise, which is written after the manner of the celebrated authors in Great-Britain, I may communicate to the public at a more convenient feafon. In the mean while I fhall leave this with my curious reader, as fome ingenious writers do their enigmas; and, if any fagacious perfon can fairly unriddle it, I will print his explanaVOL. VIII. F tion, tion, and, if he pleases, with his name. acquaint the world I hope this fhort effay will convince my readers it is not for want of abilities that I avoid state tracts, and that, if I would apply my mind to it, I might in a little time be as great a mafter of the political fcratch as any the most eminent writer of the age. I fhall only add, that, in order to outfhine all this modern race of Syncopifts, and thoroughly content my English reader, I intend fhortly to publish a SPECTATOR that shall not have a single vowel in it. N° 568. Friday, July 16, 1714. Dum recitas, incipit effe tuus. Reciting makes it thine. MART. Epig. i. 39. WAS yesterday in a coffee-house not far from the Royal-Exchange, where I obferved three perfons in clofe conference over a pipe of tobacco; upon which, having filled one for my own ufe, I lighted it at the little wax candle that ftood before them; and, after having thrown in two or three whiffs amongst them, fat down and made one of the company. I need not tell * Py ADDISON. See final Note to No. 7; and No. 221. In this eighth Vol. there were no fignatures, and ADDISON'S Papers in it are given on the authority of Mr. Thomas Tickell. my my reader that lighting a man's pipe at the fame candle is looked upon among brother fmokers as an overture to converfation and friendfhip. As we here laid our heads together in a very amicable manner, being entrenched under a cloud of our own raifing, I took up the laft SPECTATOR, and cafting my eye over it, "The "SPECTATOR," fays I," is very witty to 66 66 His day;" upon which a lufty lethargic old gentleman, who fat at the upper end of the table, having gradually blown out of his mouth a great deal of fmoke, which he had been collecting for fome time before, Ay," fays he, more witty than wife, I am afraid. neighbour, who fat at his right hand, immediately coloured, and, being an angry politician,' laid down his pipe with fo much wrath that he broke it in the middle, and by that means furnished me with a tobacco-ftopper, I took it up very fedately, and, looking him full in the face, made use of it from time to time all the while he was fpeaking: "This fellow," fays he, "cannot for his life keep out of politics. Do you fee how he abuses four great men here?” I fixed my eye very attentively on the Paper, and asked him if he meant thofe who were represented by afterisks. "Afterifks," fays he, "do you call them? they are all of them "ftars-he might as well have put garters to "them. Then pray do but mind the two or "three next lines. Ch-ch and p-dd-ng in the "fame fentence! Our clergy are very much "beholden to him!" Upon this the third gentleman, 66 F 2 gentleman, who was of a mild difpofition, and, as I found, a whig in his heart, defired him not to be too fevere upon the SPECTATOR neither; "for," fays he, " you find he is very "cautious of giving offence, and has therefore put two dashes into his pudding." "A fig "for his dafh," fays the angry politician; "in "his next sentence he gives a plain innuendo "that our pofterity will be in a sweet p-ckle. "What does the fool mean by his pickle ? "Why does he not write it at length, if he " means honeftly? I have read over the whole fentence," fays I;" but I look upon the parenthesis in the belly of it to be the most dangerous part, and as full of infinuations as "it can hold. But who," fays I, "is my Lady 66 66 Q-p-t-s?" "Ay, anfwer that if you can, "Sir," fays the furious ftatefman to the poor whig that fat over against him. But without giving him time to reply, "I do affure you,' fays he, "where I my Lady Q-p-t-s, I would "fue him for fcandalum magnatum. What is "the world come to? Muit every body be "allowed to-?" He had by this time filled a new pipe, and applying it to his lips, when we expected the laft word of his fentence, put us off with a whiff of tobacco; which he redoubled with fo much rage and trepidation that he almoft ftified the whole company. After a fhort paufe, I owned that I thought the SPECTATOR had gone too far in writing fo many letters of my Lady Q-p-t-s's name; but, 66 however," fays I," he has made a little "amends |