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« amends for it in his next sentence, where " he leaves a blank space without so much as 66, a consonant to direct us. I mean,” says I, “; after those words," the fleet that used to be the terror of the ocean, should be wind-bound for the fake of a — ;" after which ensues a 66 chasm, that in my opinion looks modest “ enough.” “Sir,” lays my antagonist, “ you
may easily know his meaning by his gaping; " I suppose he designs his chasm, as you call it, “ for an hole to creep out at, but I believe it « will hardly serve his turn. Who can endure 6 to see the great officers of state, the B-y's 66 and T--t's, treated after so scurrilous a man“ ner?" " I can't for my life,” says I, “ imagine 66 who they are the SPECTATOR means." 6 No!" says he !---6; Your humble servant, 46 Sir!" Upon which he flung himself back in his chair after a contemptuous manner, and smiled upon the old lethargic gentleman on his left hand, who I found was h great admirer. The whig however had begun to conceive a goodwill towards me, and, feeing my pipe out, very generously offered me the use of his box, but I declined it with great civility, being obliged to meet a friend about that time in another quarter of the city.
At my leaving the coffee-house, I could not forbear reflecting with myself upon that gross tribe of fools who may be termed the over-wise, and upon the difficulty of writing any iiinnin this cenforious age, which a weak head may got construe into private satire and personal reflection.
A man who has a good nose at an innuendo, smells treason and fedition in the most innocent words that can be put together, and never sees a vice or folly stigmatized, but finds out one or other of his acquaintance pointed at by the writer. I remember an empty pragmatical fellow in the country, who, upon reading over “ The Whole © Duty of Man," had written the names of several persons in the village at the side of every fin which is mentioned by that excellent author; so that he had converted one of the best books in the world into a libel against the 'squire, churchwardens, overseers of the poor, and all other the most considerable persons in the parish. This book, with these extraordinary marginal notes, fell accidentally into the hands of one who had never seen it before ; upon which there arose a current report that somebody had written a book against the 'squire and the whole parish. The minister of the place, having at that time a controversy with some of his congregation upon the account of his tithes, was under some fufpicion of being the author, until the good man set his people right, by shewing them that the fatirical paffages might be applied to several others of two or three neighbouring villages, ar? that the book was written against all the sinners in England.
* By ADDISON, • *.* Just published, “ Verses at the last public commence4 ment at Cambridge,” written and spoken by Mr. L, EUSDEN, Spect, in folio,
No. 569. N° 569. Monday, July 19, 1714.
Reges dicuntur multis urgere culullis
Hor. Ars Poet. ver. 434. - Wise were the kings who never chose a friend • Till with full cups they had unmask'd his soul, • And seen the bottom of his deepest thoughts.'
TO vices are so incurable as those which i V men are apt to glory in. One would wonder how DRUNKENNESS Thould have the good luck to be of this number. Anacharsis, being invited to a match of drinking at Corinth, demanded the prize very humorously, because he was drunk before any of the rest of the company; for, says he, when we run a race, he who arrives at the goal first is entitled to the reward : on the contrary, in this thirsty generation, the honour falls upon him who carries off the greatest quantity of liquor, and knocks down the rest of the company. I was the other day with honest Will Funnel the West-Saxon, who was reckoning up how much liquor had passed through him in the last twenty years of his life, which, according to his computation, amounted to twentythree hogsheads of October, four ton of Port, half a kilderkin of small beer, nineteen barrels of
Cyder, and three glasses of Champaigne; besides which he had assisted at four hundred bowls of Punch, not to mention sips, drams, and whets without number. I question not but every reader's memory will suggest to him several ambitious young men who are as vain in this particular as Will Funnel, and can boast of as glorious exploits.
Our modern Philosopers observe, that there is a general decay of moisture in the globe of the earth. This they chiefly ascribe to the growth of vegetables, which incorporate into their own substance many fluid bodies that never return again to their former nature: but, with submisfon, they ought to throw into their account thofe innumerable rational beings which fetch thcir nourishment chiefly out of liquids ; especially when we consider that men, compared with their fellow-creatures, Drink much more than comes to their share.
But, however highly this tribe of people may think of themselves, a Drunken man is a greater monster than any that is to be found among all the creatures which God has made ; as indeed there is no character which appears more defpicable and deformed, in the eyes of all rational perfons, than that of a Drunkard. Bonosus, one of our own countrymen, who was addicted to this vice, having set up for a share in the Roman empire, and being defeated in a great battle, hanged himself. When he was seen by the army in this melancholy situation, notwithstanding he had behaved himself very bravely, the common jest
was, that the thing they saw hanging upon the tree before them was not a man, but a bottle.
This vice has very fatal effects on the mind, the body, and fortune, of the person who is devoted to it.
In regard to the mind, it first of all discovers every faw in it. The sober man, by the strength of reason, may keep under and subdue every vice or folly to which he is most inclined; but wine makes every latent seed sprout up in the soul, and shew itself; it gives fury to the passions, and force to those objects which are apt to produce them. When a young fellow complained to an old Philosopher that his wife was not handsome, " Put less water in your wine," says the Philosopher, “6 and you will quickly make her so.” Wine heightens indifference into love, love into jealousy, and jealousy into madness. It often turns the good-natured man into an idiot, and the choleric into an assassin. It gives bitterness to resentment, it makes vanity insupportable, and displays every little spot of the soul in its utmost deformity.
Nor does this vice only betray the hidden faults of a man, and shew them in the most odious colours, but often occasions faults to which he is not naturally subject. There is more of turn than of truth in a saying of Seneca, that Drunkenness does not produce but discover faults. Common experience teaches the contrary. Wine throws a man out of himself, and infuses qualities into the mind which she is a stranger to in her sober