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N° 569. moments. The perfon you converse with, after the third bottle, is not the fame man who at first sat down at table with you. Upon this maxim is founded one of the prettieft fayings I ever met with, which is afcribed to Publius Syrus, Qui ebrium ludificat, lædit abfentem: "He who jefts

upon a man that is Drunk injures the abfent." Thus does Drunkenness act in a direct contradiction to reafon, whofe bufinefs it is to clear the mind of every vice which is crept into it, and to guard it against all the approaches of

any that endeavours to make its entrance. But befides thefe ill effects which this vice produces in the perfon who is actually under its dominion, it has alfo a bad influence on the mind even in its fober moments, as it infenfibly weakens the underftanding, impairs the memory, and makes thofe faults habitual which are produced by frequent exceffes.

I fhall now proceed to fhew the ill effects which this vice has on the bodies and fortunes of men; but these I fhall reserve for the fubject of fome future Paper.

* By ADDISON. See TAT. No. 152, No. 205, No. 241; SPECT. No. 189, No. 195; and GUARD. No. 56.

*** For the information of gentlemen, and promotion of trade among bookfellers, there is this day published "The "Monthly Catalogue of all books, fermons and pamphlets, "which were published in the months of May and June laft; "the name of the Printer and price being to each book." Printed for B. Lintot, price 3 d. each month; to be continued monthly. SPECT. in folio.

No. 570.

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N° 570. Wednesday, July 21, 1714.

Nugaque canora. HOR. Ars Poet. ver. 322

Chiming trifles.'

T

ROSCOMMON.

HERE is fcarcely a man living who is not actuated by AMBITION. When this principle meets with an honeft mind and great abilities, it does infinite fervice to the world; on the contrary, when a man only thinks of diftinguifhing himself without being thus qualified for it, he becomes a very pernicious or a very ridiculous creature. I fhall here confine myself to that petty kind of Ambition, by which fome men grow eminent for odd accomplishments and trivial performances. How many are there whofe whole reputation depends upon a pun or a quibble? You may often fee an artist in the streets gain a circle of admirers by carrying a long pole upon his chin or forehead in a perpendicular pofture. Ambition has taught fome to write with their feet, and others to walk upon their hands. Some tumble into Fame, others grow immortal by throwing themselves through a hoop.

Cætera de genere hoc adeo funt multa, loquacem
Delaffare valent Fabium
HOR. I Sat. i. 13.

With thousands more of this Ambitious race
Would tire ev'n Fabius to relate each cafe.'

HORNECK.

I am

I am led into this train of thought by an adventure I lately met with.

66

*

I was the other day at a tavern, where the mafter of the houfe accommodating us himfelf with every thing we wanted, I accidentally fell into a difcourfe with him; and talking of a certain great man, who fhall be namelets, he told me that he had fometimes the honour" to "treat him with a whiftle;" adding (by way of parenthesis) "for you must know, gentlemen, that I whiftle the beft of any man in Europe." This naturally put me upon defiring him to give us a fample of his art; upon which he called for a cafe-knife, and, applying the edge of it to his mouth, converted it into a mufical inftrument, and entertained me with an Italian folo. Upon laying down the knife, he took up a pair of clean tobacco-pipes; and, after having flid the fmall end of them over the table in a moft melodious trill, he fetched a tune out of them, whifling to them at the fame time in concert. In fhort, the tobacco-pipes became mufical pipes in the hands of our virtuofo, who confeffed to me ingenuously, he had broke fuch quantities of them, that he had almost broke himself before he had brought this piece of mufic to any tolerable perfection. I then told him I would bring a company of friends to dine with him next week, as an encouragement to his in

* This man's name was Daintry. He was in the trained bands, and commonly known by the name of Captain DAINTRY. The annotator received this information from old Mr. Heywood. See GUARD. in 8vo. No. 84, and Note on Mr. J. Heywood.

genuity;

genuity; upon which he thanked me, faying that he would provide himself with a new frying-pan against that day. I replied, that it was no matter; roaft and boiled would ferve our turn. He fmiled at my fimplicity, and told me that it was his defign to give us a tune upon it. As I was furprised at fuch a promife, he sent for an old frying-pan, and, grating it upon the board, whiftled to it in fuch a melodious manner, that you could fcarcely diftinguifh it from a bafs-viol. He then took his feat with us at the table, and, hearing my friend that was with me hum over a tune to himself, he told him if he would fing out he would accompany his voice with a tobacco-pipe. As my friend has an agreeable bass, he chofe rather to fing to the frying-pan, and indeed between them they made up a moft extraordinary concert. Finding our landlord fo great a proficient in kitchen mufic, I afked him if he was mafter of the tongs and key. He told me that he had laid it down fome years fince as a little unfashionable; but that, if I pleased, he would give me a leffon upon the gridiron. He then informed me that he had added two bars to the gridiron, in order to give it a greater compafs of found; and I perceived was as well pleased with the invention as Sappho could have been upon adding two ftrings to the lute. To be fhort, I found that his whole kitchen was furnished with mufical inftruments; and could not but look upon this artist as a kind of burlefque mufician.

He

He afterwards of his own accord fell into the imitation of several finging birds. My friend and I toasted our mistreffes to the nightingale, when all of a fudden we were furprised with the mufic of the thrush. He next proceeded to the fkylark, mounting up by a proper fcale of notes, and afterwards falling to the ground with a very eafy and regular defcent. He then contracted his whistle to the voice of feveral birds of the fmalleft fize. As he is a man of a larger bulk and higher ftature than ordinary, you would fancy him a giant when you looked upon him, and a tom-tit when you fhut your eyes. I must not omit acquainting my reader, that this accomplished perfon was formerly the master of a toyfhop near Temple-bar; and that the famous Charles Mather was bred up under him. I am told that the misfortunes which he has met with in the world are chiefly owing to his great application to his mufic; and therefore cannot but recommend him to my readers as one who deferves their favour, and may afford them great diverfion over a bottle of wine, which he fells at the Queen's-arms, near the end of the little piazza in Covent-Garden *.

Mr. James Heywood likewife informed the editor, that the tavern here mentioned was much frequented by STEELE and ADDISON. See SPECT. Vol. IV. No. 268. Note on Mr. HEYWOOD, and GUARD. 8vo. No. 84 and Note.

***Juft publifhed, the fecond Edition of Verfes at the public Commencement at Cambridge. Written and spoken by Mr. Eufden. Printed for J. Tonfon, at Shakespear's Head, against Catherine-street in the Strand, SPECT. in folio. No. 571.

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