STUDIES FROM MR. PUNCH'S STUDIO. No. X.-THE OPEN-AIR RECITER. THE scene is Hyde Park on a Sunday evening. Enthusiasts of nearly every shade of conviction and complexion are haranguing groups more or less numerous. A ringletted Italian is defending some peculiar doctrine he has brought over with him, as he sits on one of the benches, and, hard by, a fluent but incoherent Negro revivalist is waving his pinkish palms behind some railings. Here is the Positivist who undertakes to disprove Christianity in the short space of ten minutes; and there a gloomy gentleman exhorts to repentance a congregation consisting of one very small girl with an infant in arms. A Cockney Atheist disputes publicly against a German Protestant amidst the applause of a thoroughly impartial circle; and, a few paces on, a constant succession of pallid youths drop their aspirates from a portwww able pulpit. So that when we come to the next small cluster, and find its nucleus is a short sickly young man in a highly respectable black frock-coat, and with a book under his arm, it is not unnatural to expect some further exposition of doctrine, nor is this expectation entirely dissipated by the first words we are able to hear. The young man has a weak voice, and his manner is one of studied self-repression, with a dash of that consciousness of intellectual superiority which a course of miscellaneous reading is apt to induce. He sees a nasty "h" looming ahead, and generally negotiates it with some skill, though he seems a little shaken on landing.. "The crime of murder, my friends," he is saying, "is one of those events which few can be guilty of without their consciences are more or less haunted by the memory of so awful a deed. This peculiarity has been noted by some of our greatest poets, and by none more so than the piece entitled The Dream of Eugene Aram, which, as some of you may perhaps recollect"-(this with a very dubious optimism)-"was written by the late Tom OоHOOD. With your permission, I shall now endeavour to recite this piece from memory." The circle of idlers are pressing close round him, and yet one and all avoid meeting his eye, and maintain a noble British stolidity. The young man seems to have something to say, and they may as well stay where they are till they have had enough of it. 66 66 And the young man gives his rendering of the famous poem-a rendering which, it must be admitted, is consistently tame throughout. The reek from the pipes, which are within an inch or so from bis nose, makes him cough at all the crises. When he addresses an impudent Street Arab, who is staring up at him, as 'my gentle boy," and reminds him that it is nothing but a dream, the urchin yelps suddenly, and plunges through the ring, shrieking with impish laughter. The pallid youths close by strike suddenly into melody, and our reciter gives a shrug of despair. Gentlemen, I'm sorry to interrupt my course, but the opposition is really too strong for me just 'ere. It's not my desire to say anything against anyone's opinions; but so much as this I will say, that some people might employ their spare time far better in storing their minds with improving literature than what they are owling out ims. I must ask you all to adjourn with me, where we shall be less disturbed." Hereupon he moves on, but his audience remains behind, doubtful, apparently, whether their interest is sufficient, or their dignity sufficiently accommodating, to warrant any additional exertion. At last one or two bolder spirits shuffle towards him sheepishly, with an apologetic giggle, and most of the rest drift after them. "When we were interrupted," says the Reciter, who has obviously forgotten all about it, "I had arrived at that portion of the narrative when the murderer-in which the corpse"You was a sayin," says a surly man, 66 as you was like a Devil of the Pit." Quite right," says the Reciter, scholastically, and continues without further mishap. When he leaves ARAM in the mist, between the two stern-faced men, there is a silence-no face expresses the slightest emotion, no voice utters a word of thanks, or even criticism. 66 But the Reciter is apparently used to this, for he is not in the least damped. There is yet another piece by the same hand," he opens, on the companion subject of suicide. Suicide, whether we regard it as proceeding from a disordered intellect, or as the result of-of similar unpleasantness, is liable to serious disapproval, being calculated to reduce the population. Some of you, who occasionally peruse a paper, may have remarked a case of this kind, which is very aptly depicted by Tom 'OOD, and which I shall now have the honour of repeating by heart before you." So he proceeds to recite the poem, and again there is the same apathy in the audience; some whisper personal remarks to one another on his appearance; others look at him with a blank surprise, as if he was something exhibited in a tent; now and then an old lady, who has been flitting from group to group sipping theological honey, like a serious-minded bee, approaches and, discovering her error, sails off with a volley of very audible sniffs. "I don't know if I weary you," he says on concluding, "I can, if required, repeat passages, for two hours on end, without needing to refer to any text. I have done as much as two hours and-a-half, and I'm quite agreeable to going on longer now, if it is the general wish that I should do so.' 66 There is another pause; there is no enthusiasm, but no dissent, and at length a more appreciative member of the audience responds, Spout away if yer like, old man, no one's 'indering of yer! which the Reciter, perhaps not without grounds, accepts as warm encouragement. 66 Well," he concedes, "I shall be happy to oblige the company. Some among you may have studied English Istry, as recorded in the learned and luminous pages of YUME and SMOLLIT, and will recollect that great writer's pathetic description of the execution of MARY, the so-called Queen of Scots. I shall now give you a dialogue she is supposed to have uttered a few moments before she laid her 'ead on the fatal block." 19 It would be tedious to follow the young man through the whole of his programme, which resembles one of those revolving fireworks which are always about to stop, and suddenly starting again, with a whiz, and a total change of colour and design. On returning to his neighbourhood, after various short absences, we find him alternately exulting over the destruction of Sennacherib, and explaining what battle is to "Little PETERKIN," and finally conducting a reduced and exhausted party through portions of the Deserted Village. When the last feat is accomplished, the Reciter stops, satiated at length. I hope, Gentlemen," he says, "my efforts to provide you with mental entertainment of a more intellectual sort than that you get elsewhere have not been unwelcome. It is coming on dark, and the night air is not good for my voice, so, with your permission, I'll wish you good evening." His hearers make no response, with one exception, a young man, who offers him a penny, which he declines with dignity. "You misunderstand," says the Reciter. "I do what I have done to-night with no idea of making money by it,-only to improve the popular taste, and lead them, if possible, to read and think for themselves." The crowd disperses, too indifferent, or, it may be, too shy, to express any gratitude for his exertions; and the Open-Air Reciter goes away alone, with the sense of being a public benefactor for his sole reward. One cannot help suspecting that, whether he is conscious of it or not, some more personal motives have been at the bottom of his proceedings; but who will grudge him a vanity which assumes so harmless and well-meaning a form, and which will probably gild his week's work for him with the recollection of the evening past on which he had an audience all to himself, and the anticipation of the evening to come when his innocent excitement may be repeated? Mr. Punch rather fancies he has met amateurs of far higher standing whose self-satisfaction and incompetence were not less pronounced, whilst their taste in selection was decidedly inferior to those exhibited by this humble specimen of the irrepressible race of reciters, to whom, as he takes a not unkindly leave of him, he will only wish increased lung-power, and a more demonstrative audience on the next occasion on which it pleases him to take the field. TO CORRESPONDENTS.-In no case can Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, or Drawings, be returned, unless accompanied by a Stamped and Directed Envelope or Cover. Copies of MS. should be kept by the Senders. CHRISTMAS was close at hand-all seemed to be going with seasonable ease and cheerfulness; but SIMON TAPPERTIT, whose mysterious demeanour and erratic ways had lately given the worthy locksmith some disquiet, was very late. GABRIEL VARDEN, with his lady, and Miss MIGGS, sat watching in the little Cabinet. return in this condition ? Give me an assurance that you have not been among those confounded Radical associates of yours, and I am satisfied." "Sir," replied Mr. TAPPERTIT, with a contemptuous look, "I wonder at your assurance in making such a demand." 66 MARTHA," said the locksmith, turning to his wife, and shaking his head sorrowfully, "I trust it may not turn out that this poor lad is the victim of the fools and fanatics we have so often had words about. If he has been at H-w-rd-n or B-rm-ngh-m "He has been at neither, Sir," cried Mr. TAPPERTIT in a loud voice, which he suddenly dropped into a whisper as he repeated, with eyes fixed upon the locksmith, "he has been at neither." "I'm glad of it with all my heart," said the locksmith, in a serious tone, "for if he had been, and it could be proved against him, our Great Association would never have forgiven him." "He was not at H-w-rd-n nor at B-rm-ngh-m, G. VARDEN," said SIMON, sternly; "but he was at Westminster. Perhaps, Sir, he snubbed a Metropolitan Member; perhaps, Sir, he tapped a Naval Lord. You may stare. Sir, I repeat it-perhaps he tapped a Naval Lord. Who knows? Beware, G. VARDEN!" Miss MIGGS, who had arrived at that restless and sensitive condition of the nervous system which are the result of long watching, and considerable snubbing, did, by constant rubbing and tweaking of her nose, a perpetual change of attitude, frequent surprised elevation and frowning depression of her eyebrows, the incessant recurrence of a small cough, a gasp, a sniff, a sigh, a spasmodic start, and by other demonstrations of that nature, give the beholders to understand that she was far from satisfied with the existing condi-" tion of things, and that only a sense of duty upheld her, and nerved her to endurance. Mrs. VARDEN seemed too sleepy to say much, though she may possibly have been thinking a good deal. "You spoke of MIGGS, Sir," ejaculated Mr. TAPPERTIT, scornfully, "You spoke of MIGGS, ah! and MIGGS has spoke of me on several occasions in a manner I shall not demean myself by describing. MIGGS be smothered!" "Ally Looyer, Mim!" cried Miss MIGGS, "there's SIMMUNS's after glancing at her with a smile of ineffable disdain. "Me!" cried the well-known voice of Mr. TAPPERTIT. GABRIEL opened the door and gave him admission. He stalked haughtily into the room, and throwing himself into a chair, and endeavouring to thrust his hands into the pockets of his small clothes, which were turned inside out, as indeed his coat seemed to be also, surveyed the household with gloomy dignity. "SIMON," said the locksmith, gravely, "how comes it that you Oh, SIMMUN!" ejaculated that lady in a faint voice. "Oh, Mim! Oh, Sir! Oh, goodness gracious, what a turn he has give me!" "This Party may all be smothered. Sir," returned Mr. TAPPERTIT, "Be warned in time, G. VARDEN!" But here the two women threw themselves in the way-especially Miss MIGGS, who fell upon him with such fervour that she pinned him against the wall-and conjured him, in moving words, not to go forth till he was sober; to listen to reason; to think of it; to take some rest, and then determine. "I tell you," said Mr. TAPPERTIT, "that my mind is made up. My bleeding, o'ertaxed country calls me, and I go! MIGGS, if you don't get out of the way, I'll pinch you!" "Oh, SIMMUN!" cried Miss MIGGS. "Oh, my blessed SIMMUN! Oh, Mim! what are my feelings at this conflicting moment!" I leave," said SIMON, turning to his master, with an utter disregard of MIGGS's maidenly affection, a cash-box up-stairs. Do what you like with it. I don't want it. Provide yourself, Sir, with a journeyman or a cashier. I'm my country's journeyman, my country's cashier! Henceforth that's my line of business." Hereupon SIMON, gathering himself up as straight as he could, plunged head-foremost at his old master, doubled him up, and darted down the street like a mad dog. 66 NONE SUCH BENEFACTORS AS US, AND NOBODY NOT ONE PENNY THE WUSS!" 'Go thy ways, SIM, go thy ways," said the locksmith, as soon as he could speak. "I've done my best with thee, my lad, and would gladly have kept thee in good company and from a bad end, but the Radical rope is round thy neck, I fear." So saying, and shaking his head in a very sorrowful and disconsolate manner, he turned back and soon re-entered his own house, where Mrs. VARDEN and the faithful MIGGS had been anxiously expecting his return. THE DRAMA IN OXFORD STREET. : • Jones. HOW WARS ARE GOT UP. Mr. Punch. You have asked my opinion of Mr. JONES's piece(By Our Special Foreign Correspondent-but we've stopped him in time.) Mr. Nibbs. Excuse me, Sir. But the author's distinguished name VIENNA, Jan. 1st.-Just now I am sure your readers will be should be given with the sort of flourish with which it is set off on thirsting for a new sensation, in place of the one provided by a recent the programme, where it is printed thus:[Produces it. cause célèbre, prematurely concluded, so I hasten to wire you a most Henry Arthur * extraordinary rumour which is circulating in the highest circles of Pardon my drawing your attention to the fact, Sir, but it is so this Capital, in which I invariably move. It has reference to the evident that the gentleman who mental condition of the Emperor of GERMANY. I was talking to-day has put his name to this bill to a Diplomatist, whose name, were I to give it to you, which I, wishes it to be understood that, unfortunately, can't do, would in itself be a guarantee of the comthough it is only JONES, he is plete credibility of every word he utters, and he assured me, as a the Onliest JONES, and must be fact, that the German Emperor is under the impression that war announced in the arena as with France and Russia has already broken out, and that BISMARCK "HENRY (alarums) ARTHUR only keeps him quiet by forging bogus telegrams from the seat of fanfare) JONES! (Grand flou-war, describing victories for the Fatherland! Also, in his occasional rish of trumpets). paroxysms that Kaiser WILHELM is in the habit of taking pot-shots at passers-by from one of the windows of the Palace Unter den Linden, and the amount of hush-money which the Crown Prince has already paid to relatives of persons killed in this way is enormous. An unlucky attendant who hid the Emperor's revolver the other day, as a measure of precaution, was actually scalped by the infuriated monarch, and none of his entourage come near him without wearing bullet-proof armour under their Court uniforms, and being provided with chloroformed handkerchiefs to wave in the aged Kaiser's face in case of necessity. You can judge from these incidents on how slender a thread the peace of Europe now hangs. Mr. Punch. Surely, Mr. NIBBS, this is a small matter, which, if it please Mr. JONES, does not hurt us. I was about to say that the Noble Vagabond, up to the end of the Second Scene of the Third Act, is as exciting and ingeniouslycontrived a melodrama as one would wish to see. But at this point, just when a strong climax is essential, it collapses in a muddled situation, which very naturally disappoints an expectant audience. Mr. Nibbs. I am entirely of your opinion. The Scene at the Fair was spun out with a purposeless boxing-match, and if the Professor who was floored had only got up and sung "Oh, what a surprise! Two lovely black eyes!" the audience could not have been more astonished than they were at the termination of the Act, though they might have been more pleased. Mr. Punch. Then in the last Act, though all that acting can do is done to re-kindle the excitement, yet in the scene of équivoque between the hero, the heroine, and the returned Baronet, there is such a strong element of comedy, as there must always be in a dialogue of cross-purposes, that the dramatic instinct of any intelligent audience is opposed to taking it seriously; and a laugh in the wrong place is, at such a critical moment, fatal to the melodrama. Mr. Nibbs. But, Sir, having placed your finger on the weak part of the play, can you at all suggest how it might have been avoided? Mr. Punch. Only by reconstruction. The materials are all there. The idea of impersonating a murdered man is not, of course, new, it was done most effectively in Henry Dunbar,-but the motive in the Noble Vagabond gives the requisite novelty. Mr. Nibbs. It struck me that the dialogue was terse and telling. Mr. Punch. Undoubtedly, and we were not overwhelmed with sermons and elocutionary essays, which threatened at one time to become a Princess's tradition, just when everybody wanted the action of the piece to "get on," and the elocutionist to get off. Mr. Nibbs. Mr. WARNER is good. Mr. Punch. It is fair to assume that he realises Mr. JONES's ideal of a Noble Vagabond as nearly as possible, or he would not be playing the part. His imitation of Old Scorier is certainly excellent. Mr. Nibbs. Mr. GEORGE BARRETT, too, is one of our best low comedians in a homely part like this of the Showman. safe. I should like to see Mr. GEORGE BARRETT play ROBSON's part Mr. Punch. A part not strikingly original, but always popular and in the Porter's Knot. I was delighted with Miss DOROTHY DENE as Maud Deveson; she is thoroughly in earnest. Mr. Nibbs. She is comparatively a novice. PARIS, Jan. 2nd.-I may mention, under all possible reserve, a fact which has just come to my knowledge. General BOULANGER, acting on a hint from his friend, a sworn ally of the CZAR, has executed a masterly coup, which forms a Gallic counterpart to the kidnapping of Prince ALEXANDER of Bulgaria. You have been informed in previous trustworthy communications from me that the French War Minister desires an addition of one hundred million pounds sterling to the French Budget, in order to provide a supply of new epaulettes and tinned-meats to the Army. Finding M. GOBLET unwilling to sanction this expenditure, he took down a couple of hundred masked men, one dark night recently, to the country residence of the Prime inmates escaping, forced that Statesman (who at the time was having Minister, and surrounding the place so as to prevent any of the a modest supper of anchovy-toast and vin ordinaire, preparatory to retiring to bed) to sign the order to the different manufacturers and to the Treasury. The apparition of General BOULANGER late at night, with a sword between his teeth, and a loaded revolver in each hand, uttering tremendous threats, is stated to have unnerved M. GOBLET, so that you need not be surprised to hear of his resignation at any moment. Can anybody doubt, after this, that we are on the eve of a devastating European conflict? VIENNA, Jan. 3rd.-I told you before that the Emperor WILLIAM is now a raging lunatic. His last freak is to imagine himself a Fasting Man, and to refuse to take any nourishment of any sort. BISMARCK and MOLTKE have to stand over him, and force him to eat at the sword's point! BISMARCK has already been twice shot in the leg, and MOLTKE's cocked hat (which he always wears) has been carried away by a bullet from his Royal Master, and the Chancellor and the veteran soldier both threaten to resign in consequence. This intelligence is absolutely authentic. War (against following passage:somebody or other) may be declared at any instant! ST. PETERSBURG, Jan. 5th.-To-day's Official Messenger has the "The idea that a great European war is preparing for next spring, is chiefly kept alive by the hysterical correspondents of certain foreign newspapers. These journals do not perceive that by perpetually harping on the subject, they are themselves helping to produce the catastrophe they pretend to deprecate." Mr. Punch. We only heard of her coming out last year, and by this time she has achieved a very marked success. She is a young actress of great performance and of still greater promise. She possesses that spark of dramatic genius which may be fanned into a Your readers will be able to judge from this extract, that the flame, not by the puffing of flatterers,-which would extinguish it,- Franco-Russo-Germano-Austro-Turko-Italian war is really very but by the gentle breath of judicious critics. Seeing her so good as near indeed. I have been busy prophesying it, as you know, for she is and I much doubt whether there is anybody of her youthful some time past, but this official communiqué (which, to be understanding on the stage who could have played this part half as well-I stood, must of course be read as meaning exactly the contrary of am inclined to ask where was the stage manager, just to give her per- what it states) puts the imminence of the conflict beyond a doubt. formance that finishing touch, which otherwise she can only acquire I should advise anybody who holds foreign stocks to sell out without by experience, or may, as too frequently happens, fail to acquire at all? a moment's delay, especially as I have just wired my London broker Mr. Nibbs. I know exactly what you mean, Sir, and suppose that to take advantage of the fall, which I trust this telegram will cause, the fault lies with a defective system of rehearsal. Of the actors I to buy into most of them, and look sharp about it. thought Mr. CARTWRIGHT uncommonly good as the villain, and Miss ANNIE HUGHES very nice and sympathetic as Dinah Vimpany. VIENNA, Jan. 6th.-I have just found out that my previous authentic information about the German Emperor was not quite so Mr. Punch. Mr. WALTER HANN's Scenery is most picturesque authentic as I thought it. I now have it on unimpeachable and appropriate. I shall tell all my friends to go and see this piece for authority that the Kaiser WILHELM is perfectly sane, only rather the sake of Miss DOROTHY DENE's performance and Mr. WARNER'S feeble from age. I hasten to send you this reassuring intelligence remarkable imitation of the make-up and manner of Mr. JULIAN all the more readily because the member of the Austrian Imperial CROSS as Old Scorer. I shall warn them against disappointment in family who imparted it to me, and who is an intimate friend of mine, the Third Act. Good evening, Mr. NIBBS. I am going to see the seemed quite hurt at my recent statements, and, in fact, threatened Extravaganza-Pantomime at the Avenue, where I shall be pleased to to call me out, if I did not at once retract and apologise. My permeet you; and next week, perhaps, we can discuss it. Au revoir!sonal liking for His Imperial Arch-Highness, who is an excellent |